im dating her,theres nothing wrong with her,but it just doesnt feel right

[dreamz]

Hello everyone,

 

I have a weird issue and this is the first time I am actually dating, I am clueless as to what to do.

I met this girl online,we talked for about a month or so online,for about 2-3 weeks we talked on the phone. We finally met 3 weeks ago, and we have been meeting each weekend since then.

There is nothing wrong with her,shes pretty,shes a normal girl,she goes to college like me. Anyways, we have been to lunch,dinner,etc and I started to realize something, there is nothing common between us. We want the same things in life,but we have nothing in common to talk of. We have had 4 dates so far and all there has been is holding hands. I gave her a hug once and pulled her closer to kiss and she went "I dont know.... I dont know". So I just let go.

 

Soo..inspite of there being nothing wrong with her, I just feel any sparks. And at times I feel as if shes just a friend. I dont feel attracted towards her, I see her and I feel shes so pretty, and I think,"whats wrong with me?"

 

I am soooo confused, I dont know what to do. What is it?Is there something wrong with me? This girl is great, but I dont know,I dont feel drawn towards her.

 

Please can anyone explain to me,whats happening to me?

[kuiks8]

wow what is up with this line of threads this weekend...

I don't get the confusion...you don't connect with her...so let her go so you can both find someone you do have things in common with and a person that you do connect with...you will know when you meet them b/c you won't have to ask these kinds of questions...

[isilv3r]

Nothing is happening to you...she's just not the "one". You will meet many of those. When you do meet a girl that you really like, you will know what to do. This is completely natural....perhaps you two can just be friends.

[annie24]

sounds like you two are better off as friends, not lovers. i've been there before too - met a great guy - handsome, smart, funny..... no chemistry. we're still friends though.

[bulletproof]

Nothing's wrong with you. Just because someone is physically attractive doesn't mean you are going to feel a connection to her. Sometimes things can look great on paper but it's just not a good match. There's just too many things that go into making sparks happen between two people. A lot of it is very subtle and has nothing to do with the surface stuff (looks, whether she's in college or not, etc.).

 

That's why it's a good idea to really get to know someone and not just judge on appearance. It's good that you went on a few dates and gave it a chance before deciding that this just won't work.

 

Let this one go, and keep looking.

[lady00]

I don't know. This is a tough one.

 

Part of me thinks: there's no chemistry, simple, move on.

However, part of me thinks: maybe it's not so simple, maybe it needs more time...3 weeks talking and 4 dates...I think for most people that is enough time to know whether or not there's anything there...for others it's not. I tend to try to give things more of a chance in the absense of problems or red flags, but I honestly don't know yet if that is the right approach for me, or for anyone.

[girl68]

Just because she seems so perfect doesn't at all mean she's perfect for you.

 

Sometimes people will tell you when you know... you just know.

Other people might tell you that sometimes you really don't know and that after 10 dates they're glad they took the extra time because after all that it worked out.

 

But you seem to have already made up your mind. You think you're supposed to like her because she seems so perfect. But you hear that little voice in the back of your head that is saying no, this isn't meant to be. She's feeling the same thing.

 

It's alright to pass something good up because you're not feeling it. Just don't be a [mod edit] about it.

[dreamz]

I am kind of split on this one.

I always look forward to talking to her and I miss seeing her all through the week. I simply cant stop grinning when I am with her.

 

Still sometimes it feels as if we are just friends. Shes really really shy and so am I, maybe thats the reason things are moving kind of slow for both of us.

 

I feel like I should give us some more time, whats the worst that can happen, we would have a few more weeks of pleasant memories if we part ways.

 

Comments please

[drewciouS281]

are you scared of something? have you been hurt before?? sometimes its best to start off as friends first and see where it goes. a foundation of some sort first is always best otherwise the house will jsut crubble to pieces.

 

It sounds like you like her but are unsure of what you want. again i ask are you afraid of something? If you cant picture dating her and just feel like she is a friend than keep it that way. You missing her and wanting to see her could just be the good feeling of having someone you get along with to hang with. That doesnt mean you have to be into the person.

 

Why not just wait it out a bit longer and see what happens but if either of you dont take it to the next level, things will become friend zoned.