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My ex bf told me he was going to go to a strip club


CoCo2009

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If you broke up with him and want to get better, then stop talking to him. he can go to a million strip clubs, who cares. he's either trying to get a rise out of you, or he's an idiot for telling you that if he's really trying to get back with you.

 

I shouldn't have answered the phone

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I personally wouldnt fret over a strip club. Went to one last night for my first time actually. And the girls almost seem to me like robots so I dont know why'd he tell you that to get to you. You have to understand those girls are getting paid to do what they do. Doesn't matter weather your short, skinny, tall, fat, etc..etc to them your just another number in their DMV line.

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He is trying to get back with me and he wanted to tell me the truth and he said he was going to go but it was closed. I don't even know what I even let him tell me this crap because he just pisses me the eff off.

 

Whoa, whoa! He's a real piece of work, alright.

 

See here, the message he is trying to convey is that you're inferior to the strippers and you're not up to scratch for his standards. Which is utter BS in its purest form!

 

He is trying to undermine your self worth and self esteem, for if he achieves in doing so, you'd NEVER EVER again question his actions, faults and disgusting ways. He can then single out your concerns by stabbing you in the heart and turn everything against you if he knows you're questioning your self worth...

 

Wow... I'm so disgusted to hear this... almost to a point where I'm disappointed and I'm a man... Can't imagine what this would do to a woman.

 

I mean, I do enjoy the occasional nudity but this is way too much. This is emotional abuse in it's subtlest form because it is much harder to pick out than normal.

 

Girl, you are worth so much more than what you're setting yourself up for if you're to keep thoughts of him close to your heart.

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Yeah he keeps saying he is sorry and he wanted to tell me the truth because he knows I hate them, He sayls we weren't together so I shouldn;t be hurt and that he really didn't want to go but he was at a bar with his friend and his friend had free passes and he didn't want to just tell his friend no,. Blah Blah blah, I just wish I didn't even listen to him. I should have just not answered the phone or hung up.

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he keeps saying he is sorry and he wanted to tell me the truth because he knows I hate them.

 

That first line spells BS to me... and to you too obviously. The fact that he went but was closed, yadda, yadda... states that he wanted to get a reaction from you... to which you should have been indifferent. That would have thrown him off, but you can't, you don't seem like the type to play mind games... you're too nice.

 

Depending on what your reaction was he probably tried to make himself sound sanctimonious by fessing up that he was being honest with you by not lying or hiding his intentions. Little does he realize that doing something with the intention of doing it -- and having the chances of that not happening, as in his circumstance -- belittles the distinction from apologizing just for the feeling of an apology to an apology that's genuine and heartfelt made without explanations and excuses.

 

I don't know what to tell you though that would make you feel any better, you obviously have strong feelings for him... but this here is the red flag; the fact that he lamented on his friend having free passes meant that he should take up on the opportunity to go? When in fact he knew how much you hated those places. What if he had the chance to go further, would he not pass up on that opportunity too just because it presented itself?

 

If you can live with that then you're doing everything right on setting yourself up for a disastrous relationship with him in the future.

 

It is hard, and I can only presume to advice you on what you write...

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This must be tormenting you... and I know how painful it is. You'd much rather kill your own 'choices' to be with him, but you know you can't do that since this pain of yours is that CHOICE you'll be making, and ultimately sacrificing. This we all know, but yet we choose push aside for the comfort of the past... we choose to be in a situation in which our ex's have that ability to severely affect our overall state of well being and indeed mindset. It's affected your rational way of thinking and the momentum in which you need to heal and it will continue to doing so it left to its own vices.

 

I can't believe how on earth I could have ever loved my ex... it's just not possible now when I think about it. How I chose to go with her when I HAD other candidates which I ignored in her favour... She wanted to be friends after the break up and would apologize but never did she pin point her own faults as she'd much rather mitigate all that with a simple apology.

 

It's all about the choices we make - and girl, you have got to make a choice for yourself. Not for him or "us" in first person... but you.

 

How long do you want to wade through your own tears and pains before you realize the grass and weeds have grown over you...

 

I'm not trying to be harsh... Sending you support and warm vibes... please let it all go... let the dust settle.

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Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?

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