please read

[cuj]

ok, so i am really looking for input on this situation. We were together for 6 months. Prior to that, she was in a 3 year relationship, i was in a 5 year relationship. She'd been single for 2 months, me for 4 months. We hooked up, everything was good, things got serious. Now i should tell you, she is bulimic. She feels pressure from relationships which she internalizes and which led to the end of her last relationship. So things got serious, she started to feel pressure and feak out, and then started to bring up her ex. This was around month 3. So from month 3 to 5 things are good, with periods of trouble because she feels pressures and freaks out, and once in awhile says she's still in love with her ex. This obviously starts to become an issue. She moves away. Her ex (in another state) breaks up with his gf. Issues keep going. She has an episode, we break up. We agree she needs to figure out her life and what she wants. We both say we love each other...blah blah blah. Here I am, is this * * * * because of her fear of the relationship, and she used her ex as excuse to sabbotage us, or is she genuinely more into him?

 

day 4 of NC. what do i do?

 

we're both 25 if it matters

[atelis]

to be honest, i think you both need time out and time alone. i'm not sure why people find it so crucial to enter into another relationship so soon after coming out of a long term relationship. the world will not pass you by if you stay single for 6 months.

 

there is no way she is ready for another relationship. she is being selfish, simple as that. do you want to be a rebound guy? i was i and i can tell you it sucks big time. she has plenty of issues to deal with and she just keeps running away from them. don't be the fall guy.

[gregohreee]

Love is not supposed to be like this.

 

She's only been single for 2 months before she met you?

 

Doesn't that hint of a rebound on her part?

 

I hope everything works out for you since obviously you care about her.

[redhearts]

Your her rebound. Shes emotionally unstable to be in a relationship though.

[Kahdeksan]

I'm sorry to tell you this, my friend, but it's over... No amount of NC you're doing is gonna fix anything but you. So try and accept that it is no more and focus on yourself. I know this is not what you want to hear but it's the harsh reality. You were the rebound guy, and I don't know if it's indeed fit of me to call her selfish since we all go about our own ways in getting over a break up. She obviously chose you, out of rebound. Further more she's from a 3 year relationship so that easily overrides all the experiences you shared with her whilst she was with you.

 

Move on, go NC for your own sake... Focus on you... I'm sorry man.

[dan10]

leave her and find someone else. i know from experience what it is like to be in a relationship and still be in love with my ex. i'm doing it right now actually... but if she used that as a reason to sabotage you then you should go find yourself someone else to be with.

 

nc or not it doesnt make all that much of a difference as long as you do not hook up with her again.

 

just accept her as another gf that you had and broke up with and move on. there are plenty of good girls out there that would love to be in a loving relationship. you dont need to be with someone who doesnt want a new relationship

[Mayday11]

Prior to that, she was in a 3 year relationship, i was in a 5 year relationship. She'd been single for 2 months, me for 4 months.

 

Yikes, the rare but dreaded double rebound. Take all the baggage a rebounder drags into their new relationship and multiply it by two. I think in this case, it's best to leave it alone.