need help managing this breakup.

[croozer1607306448]

Hello. I am glad to have found this site. Although it is hard to say 'enjoy' right now, I have enjoyed reading the advice of others on here. Unfortunately I have been dumped and would appreciate all the advice I can get.

 

My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years. We started dating in high school, I am now in college in the same city and she is in high school. I never saw this as a barrier to our relationship and things went well the first semester of me being in college. Over the last month we have kind of dwindled. We have both had other stuff we have been involved with. I did not pay enough attention to her and started thinking about what it would be like if we weren't dating. I made the mistake of telling her my thoughts, although to me it was light hearted. I never got to the point of actually planning to break up.

 

Unfortunately these ideas brewed in her mind and she slowly realized she didn't want me around anymore. I wish she could have voiced this to me earlier. A week and a half ago we talked on the phone and she told me she had more fun out with her friends than she did with me and didn't want to do anything with me that coming weekend. Well after last weekend she told me she didn't want to date me anymore.

 

I couldn't believe it at first but it pretty much ruined me. I made a bad move of asking her to give me another chance and go to dinner with me tomorrow (saturday). I explained to her how I just needed 1 more chance. She told me it is not about logic now but she is simply happier without me. After reading lots of advice on here, I have decided I do not want to call her and chat much, but I called her tonight and told her I am cancelling our dinner tomorrow night when she said she thought of it as 'closure'.

 

I do not want closure. I still deeply believe she is worth a lot to me and can't throw away our relationship and how close we have been.

 

So now I'm trying to do stuff with my friends and get on with the moving on process. I want to become stronger and independent, but I still want another chance with her. What is the best way? I think I will wait at least a week until calling her. I want her to miss me but not forget about me. I definitely don't want to turn it into a 'just friends' thing. I made a valentines card for her but I have a feeling it will have to sit on the shelf for awhile.

 

She said she still loves me. I don't know what to think of that. I still love her.

 

 

well, any suggestions or advice I would deeply appreciate. thanks.

[ms anthrope]

sounds like you are going through the worst part. hang in there.

 

she very well may still love you. but she is very young. and since she is still in high school...she hasnt experienced dating much. most people that havent dated much end up wondering what else is out there. it's normal...it happens and it sucks for the person on the other end. about the most i can say is maybe some time alone will make her miss you and make her realize that what she wanted all along was with her this whole time. you cant tell her this...she has to find this out on her own.

 

i hope your waiting period isnt long and i hope you get an answer soon.

 

ms

[SwingFox]

Hey there croozer,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your conerns and questions with eNotalone.com. I found eNotalone.com an awesome site myself and exactly that is the reason why I wanted to join as a moderator.

 

You made a GREAT comment yourself. You said that you wanted to become more independent and stronger. That never hurts and while you don't have anything strings attached now, it might be a good time to work on that.

 

Your g/f might or might not come back to you. It IS very hard to say. If she still loves you then chances are higher, but the truth is that I don't want to give you false hope. I would suggest you to at least have fun. Go work out or so. I have read from others that it helps and makes you feel great. It's a good idea to stay in contact with her as long as she allows it. However, be ready to hear that she doesn't want you to contact her any longer (although, I don't see why she'd say that). As soon as she says that, I would respect her decision and start a healing process.

 

Last but not least, croozer. Your life is all about YOU! Take charge and take control. Your life is in your hands... Make sure that she is not going to control your life. The only obligation YOU have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy.

 

Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[croozer1607306448]

thanks for the replies. it is SO hard not to call her up right now and tell her all the reasons i think we should be together. every minute seems like an hour.

[jaxie]

coozer i'm going through the same thing right now, my bf dumped me and after he said that se said he also loves me, well i just got dumped on sunday, feb. 15, 2003, which really recent my heart is so broken, well i too what to talk to him on the phone but i can;t my heart can't resist more pain, cuz he can say something else to hurt me but i need advice too, i feel and i'm scared to date again, my heart has always been broken for everytime i love they don't love back, i;m scared i don't want to date right now. well hope we have better luck with other people