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Question for people with solid relationships


Rosee

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For anyone who is with someone that they seem likely to have a long term contented future with:

in your experience when you first started to get to know the person, did you just click pretty much straight away and were things fairly easy at the start?

I mean did everything seem to flow naturally without too much angst? Or are most relationships quite hard work from the get go?

 

When you meet someone who is the one (or one of the ones, whatever) does it feel different from what has gone before?

 

I've been in love a few times but never with a person who I would also consider a good friend.

I've clicked with people as friends, but I haven't been able find a mix of both yet and from what I understand it's very helpful to really like your partner as a friend as well as lover (well duh I hear you say, but I'm not really good at this stuff, lol)

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With my bf, we were friends first...so that helped tremendously. Just so you know, it's not always going to be a Mayberry scenario with any relationship. There are rough times. But if I have learned anything...it's how you get through those rough times that helps build your bond as a couple. I have been with my guy for 3 years (known him for 5). We have an amazing chemistry, and have had one since the start. That immediate chemistry with new realtionships has a way of making everything easy. The challenge comes when reality sets in and you actually have relationship-stuff to deal with. The chemistry can still hang, but it takes work on both parts.

 

Trust, forgiveness, unselfishness and communication....they all help!! We are still learning these valuable things about one another. There are days where I feel like we aren't going to make it - and then he helps one of those things by a right action or words....and things get better. We still have a lot of work to do. Luckily we are young and willing to learn.

 

I hope this helps.

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I've been in a wonderful, stable and loving relationship for about 2.5 years now. We live together and will be getting married (as soon as I can buy a ring.) We met at work and started off as friends just having lunch together, hanging out. Our conversations started to turn to serious issues about kids, marriage, family, goals, religion, politics, money and we both found we were incredibly similar. So we started casually dating and it just kinda happened naturally. I have to admit this has been the easiest relationship I've ever been in. We are SO compatible that it is just so natural feeling. It is still 'work' as is ANY relationship as we all have ups and downs and mood swings. But she and I work together and have not once ever snapped at each other.

 

With my Xwife, we "clicked" right away too but there were many, many red flags I failed to recognize. I was young and very naive about relationships. The discord, arguments, and eventual emotional and verbal abuse I was assaulted by became normal for me. She and I were still fairly compatible in many areas, but our base personalities clashed. She was extroverted, the life-of-the-party type and I was 180 degree opposite. Eventually that helped destroy our relationship because we didn't respect each other's personalities.

 

 

As elzmdavis put it: Trust, respect and communication are key. Looking back to my marriage, despite our "love" for each other, all THREE of those were damaged and/or missing. Now in my current relationship I can see how strong all three of those are. Because I trust and respect her, we can disagree and it's no big deal.

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