Capella Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Ok, so my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago. He got a new girlfriend right away and I now have a new boyfriend. However, a few days ago he texted me saying he wanted to be friends because he still valued me a lot, but added that for now we could only be friends. He said he still thought of me and would compare me to others and consider me an option if he figured out that I was the right one for him. I told him that I didn't think it was possible and that I had a boyfriend. Right after asking who it was he said goodnight. It was obvious that it bothered him that I had someone new. Then he started texting asking me to go on MSN. I didn't for a while. One morning I had gone out early and come back home around 11am or so. He texted again asking to ask me to go on MSN. I told him I had just come home and would be leaving soon. Right away he got upset and asked if I had even slept at home (assuming I had spent the night at my boyfriend's house). I refused to answer and he pressed and said "well??" Then when I finally did go on MSN he started asking what my boyfriend's name is, where he is from, what he does, if we have intelligent conversations, if he's ambitious, and even what he looked like and how I met him. He'll ask "how is he doing?" in a dry way. He obviously doesn't care. He also notices when I change my status on MSN and if it is remotely romantic, he asks "is that for him? how sweet." Then at other times, he will make comments such as "I heard all *insert my new boyfriend's ethnicity* are born with AIDS. You should keep that in mind." As to mean that I shouldn't be with someone so bad as him. Or he'll say, "have fun after work with your boyfriend" as if wanting for me to deny that I will be with him. If I am not friendly or responsive and only say "yes" or "no" or "I guess" to his questions, he'll get upset and say, "I'm going to leave you alone now because you're being cold." How does he expect me to act? I don't get it. What does he want? This is NOT what friendships are about. As friends, he shouldn't ask if I sleep at home or what I do with my new boyfriend or make snide little jealous comments. He shouldn't even WANT to know. He said we would only be friends...so why talk to me like that? I certainly never inquire about his girlfriend. I don't even THINK about asking about her. So WHY? Aren't people in new relationships, especially if they were the ones to break up, totally disinterested in their exes? I mean, I have seen people on here say "when they have someone new, they won't talk to you, the ex, anymore." But here, they have been together for only a few weeks, and he's already acting jealous and possessive over me? How does that make sense? He also talks to me as if nothing wrong had ever gone between us and has normal conversations about topics we both enjoy. He'll even say, as I leave, "I am looking forward to having awesome conversations with you again 8)." It must mean he can't have the same sort of conversations with his new girlfriend or something. I mean, they should be spending time together for being "newlyweds," so to speak, but he's always on MSN. What the heck is going on? I don't even think his girlfriend knows we talk or that he acts this way and asks me such things...or that he still thinks of me, has feelings for me, and is considering me an option. Right? Because I don't think she'd be ok with that. And if he is still considering me an option and obviously has feelings for me, why would he talk to me so soon after getting with someone else and confessing that to me (that he is considering me an option)? And why so obviously let me know he is jealous, has feelings for me, and cares whom I am with and when? It is obvious he thinks of me all of the time. He has texted me first thing in the morning with things he should be sharing with a girlfriend...with things he shared when WE were together. We have broken up before and he has never done this while with someone or while pursuing someone. This type of behavior has only come when he intends to get back with me. He acted this way and said the exact same things when we got back together the last time. Yet I know this time is different and we won't be getting back together so soon. So it is even more confusing. I think I am going to stop talking to him because it is so weird, I don't get it, and it makes me sort of uncomfortable. In any case, I think I may still have feelings for him and I believe in the old adage "Absense makes the heart grow fonder." How can he miss me and value what I gave him, if I still give it to him while he has a girlfriend? He'll just have the best of two worlds. I refuse to be that. He has to realize what he threw away. And plus, it is so freaking confusing to me. I don't get why so soon after getting with someone, he is acting this way with me. HELP. Link to comment
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