so upset

[Leahh]

okay so me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years. I have always suffered from low self esteem and insecurities but over the last 4 months or so it has gotten so much worse. I also suffer from eating problems as well. My boyfriend and I had the funnest relationship and did everything together. He is my best friend. But lately my low self esteem has made my moods mad and i am unpredictable and irritable and I always take it out on him. I always compare myself to other girls or think he is going to leave me for someone else even though he is great to me and loves me so much. 3 days ago he broke up with me saying its way to hard to watch me upset and to have me so irritable. He said I needed to get help and that he wants to be with me but right now I need to help myself. So I went into a cousellor building and got set up with a councellor for next week to go to weekly sessions. He says he wants us to get back together once I start figuring myself out and I want that to I love him so much. Im just suffering so much right now its only been 3 days and I miss him so much. I know that if I can start getting better we can get back together and have a much stronger healthier relationship. We are talking and keeping in touch. He says he wants to have daily contact so we dont start to move on. I guess what I am asking for is some advice with how to cope with this? I miss him and im terrified he is going to move on even though he says he would never. I feel so guilty and so upset that I have damaged my relationsship and now he isnt mine. I am so lost without him.

[bih2003]

hmmmm- you did right going into couseling, Since you are my 100s post I want to let you know that other people would love to see you fail but you have to be strong. He is on your side obviously but noone can help you if you dont want to help yourself. You have to sit down and say to yourself. what is it I dont like? Aha this and this and this and get up and CHANGE IT! If you dont like it, CHANGE IT. Its hard to do but every human is capable to. If you are religious go pray, and do some kinda hobby to get you off bad thoughts. Do you have a lot of free time? If you dont usually keep yourself busy you wonder into a total different world thinking about OMG IM UGLY IM THIS IM THAT!

 

I always think im ugly too, I am very insecure and the worst part on me, people notice it on me and they back away from me bc i am all like nOOOOOOOOOO energy, but I transformed my life. I go to school with an ipod on my head and I smile , I dont care what ANYONE thinks of me because all of them fart the same way anyone else does. Ok?

 

There are people that are much much much worse than you are right now but they have pulled themselves up by thinking that if they dont snap out of it they will destroy themselves. Major consequences can arise from Depression. Go to the counselor, get your life on track first then prove your bf that you have solved what bothered you.

 

Ps: if you want you can go to any doctor, explain this to them and they will give you some pills. Talk to a counselor first bc these pills are not the best solution but they help. They give out dopamine ( which are happy hormones) and hormones that are much much stronger than chocolate dopamine.

This helps your brain to be happy! hahahhaah But DO NOT DO THIS! TALK TO A COUNSELOR FIRST, I AM SURE YOU CAN DO IT THE NATURAL WAY! You are just finding yourself still I think! You will be better in no time. Talk to your counselor, come on enotalone. we are here for you! Best of luck!