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He said "Take your ball and go home"


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So. . . There was a bit of contact after the break up of a rather decent and fledgling relationship. We were just having personal space issues I think. We met on Eharmony and hit it off, so we just assumed we could smother each other without repercussions. Wrong. He suggested a break (thank you enotaloners for helping me figure out what he meant), and I flipped out.


After that fight, in a text he suggested we do a "do over." At the exact same minute I texted him a slightly more final note, "You rock. Thanks for everything. Peace."


His reply: "Take your ball and go home then." I have been confused ever since. That was Saturday.


Did I mention we work at the same university? I am an upper level graduate student (I already have one doctoral degree). He is a hotshot young faculty member recruited from an international applicant pool.


This morning I turned a corner on my way to the cafeteria and there he was. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. He looked surprised and said "Hi."


Something incomprehensible came out of my mouth. I don't know what I actually said, it was like, "gah. . . gah. . . ahi. . ." Then I ran away. Ran away like a maniac.


Oh he was so cute too. Wearing his glasses looking all smart. I looked like I crawled out of a laundry hamper. Great.


Been wanting to email him all day to say "I miss you." Probably a bad idea.

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No, it isn't a bad idea. Send it. Something weird happened with your text communication and you need to find out what -there could have been a wrong message sent somewhere.


If he answers that he misses you too - then talk to him. No more texting.

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Sounds good.


Now - what do you want from him? What would be the best case scenario for you?


I would like for us to basically start dating again but much slower this time. We have only been going out for about 2.5 months. Exclusivity always makes things go faster for me in my mind. I just have to not smother him with expectations and excessive social events- like "ask" if he would like to do things instead of "assume" no matter how important they are to me. He is also more spontaneous and I like to plan my social calendar weeks in advance. We need to think about if we can work with that.


I think he will be happy that I have made these realizations. He seems more intuitive than me. As I have gotten older, it seems like everything is a major discovery for me - even common sense stuff.


I would like for him to get more active with me. I am always buzzing around, going to parties and benefits and he likes to watch TV especially when it is killer hot outside. It has started to cool down here and so maybe we can do some of the things that he really enjoys like hiking and camping. He bought us a tent that we haven't got to use yet. Yet.


I am hopeful.

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his reply:


"Miss you too - I was going to give you a week to cool out before I tried

getting back in touch. I'll give you a call tonight, OK?"




Really glad to hear something positive on ENA for a change. Good luck to the both of you!!!!


As per your above post - is seems like better communication is the key to this particular dance. However, it sure sounds like you (both) are on the cusp of something wonderful and romantic.


Tent!! oh my!! Anything can happen in a tent!

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Sorry this doesn't have a happy ending. . .


So he called on wed. night, He was like, "I miss you, I really like you, I want us to salvage something here." We decided to wait till the Sunday to talk again.


Run into him out on the town on Friday night with a girl I had never met before. Hmm.


He was too busy to talk sunday night, helping a friend find her car keys*.


He calls last night. "I have been thinking, this is just not working, your not my style." I ask if his change of heart had anything to do with new girl. He did not deny it.


Oh, but he "hates the thought of [me] being alone." I told him not to worry about that at all. "I have plenty of good friends and about three guys who want to date me."


He still wants to be friends, get a drink, etc. The nerve! I said, "Take it easy dude."


Dumped his tent and all other "gifts" he has given me on his porch. Good riddence.


* aka vagina

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