broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 How do you get over an ex who you spent 4 years with, thought you would marry them, but in the end had to walk away from them because they cheated. Now they are doing everthing to win you back. Its been 3 months and hes still trying. Hes really hurting, and Im hurting because I am still in love with him, but dont think i could ever trust him again. Link to comment
tangi39 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 If you can't trust someone, it doesn't matter how much you love them. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 This is my biggest fear in the entire world. No clue how you would handle it- the only thing you can tell yourself it that you will love someone again- someone who won't cheat on you. But- how did the cheating happen? Was it long term and numerous, or a one time thing (not that it really matters)? Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 it was more then once and through out the entire 4 years off and on. He has said sorry a million times, just begs for a chance to prove to me things will be different. Saying im the love of his life, its killing me. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I was in a similar situation with my ex, but I eventually realized that I would never be able to trust him, so even though I love him, I cannot be with him. He has tried to win me back, but I cannot ever imagine trusting him. It is possible for people to change, but how will you know for sure that he has? The doubt will always be there. It is a very difficult situation to face. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 it was more then once and through out the entire 4 years off and on. He has said sorry a million times, just begs for a chance to prove to me things will be different. Saying im the love of his life, its killing me. It's not like it was a one-time thing. He did it repeatedly. he's not sorry. He's sorry you found out. If you hadn't he'd still be doing. Don't succumb to his crocodile tears. I know it hurts, and still will hurt for a while. But you will love again. just heal yourself first. Keep in mind that he will do this to anyone he is with. His cheating is not unique to your situation. It's a character flaw, probably a permanent one. he has no feelings of guilt, just knows he needs to apologize because he was caught. You're not giving up prize. You're taking out the trash to make room for someone that is deserving of your love. Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thats the thing, he actually has another g/f right now, yet begs for me to come back. Says he will leave her and never talk to her again if he could just have a chance to prove to me things would be different...no cheating, lying etc. Link to comment
fragmint Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thats the thing, he actually has another g/f right now, yet begs for me to come back. Says he will leave her and never talk to her again if he could just have a chance to prove to me things would be different...no cheating, lying etc. so youre the back up plan now. id suggest cutting off all contact/email/phone wise from him. dont waste your time with him anymore. what helps me ignore calls is relabeling them as 'dont answer' on the name. it helps remind me not to answer and you dont feel as bad since its not their name blinking at you Link to comment
summerpeach Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Guys like this make me laugh. My ex from years ago was the same. If he cheated once for a certain reason, well MAYBE, but to cheat over and over and he is now seeing someone and wants you back The only reason you would consider it is because your ego was bashed and it feels good to be wanted. But you know what feels better, to love yourself enough to NEVER let anyone take you for a fool. Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 He tells me that the new g/f is just a warm body until I come home. Link to comment
theWalla Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thats the thing, he actually has another g/f right now, yet begs for me to come back. Says he will leave her and never talk to her again if he could just have a chance to prove to me things would be different...no cheating, lying etc. That tells you all you need to know. He does not seem to connect the idea of commitment to a relationship. He would get into and throw away a relationship like it were nothing. How can you trust someone like that? Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 I wish I could hate him for ruining something so great. He was my world, I gave him everything for 4 years, he was my best friend. I miss him everyday, my whole day is filled with thoughts of him and us. This just sucks it cant be anymore. He wont be true to his new g/f, he says hes changed, I just dont believe someone whos cheated on everyone they have ever been with can change. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 How do you get over an ex of 7 years who was indeed your first love, who is the father of your only child that constantly tries to test the waters===what do you do? You cry a river, build a bride and get over it. Life goes on just consider yourself lucky you have no kids with that person. Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 yeah i follow, funny you say that because yesterday he told me he wanted to have a child with me and get married. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 yeah i follow, funny you say that because yesterday he told me he wanted to have a child with me and get married. Wow. I'm picturing this and can actually see the word "game" coming out of his mouth. I hope you don't go back to him. If he cared, he wouldn't have cheated on you repeatedly. He has no respect forf you or your body. YOU DON'T INTENTIONALLY HURT PEOPLE YOU LOVE! A warm body till you come home??? Nice. Real nice. What if he was telling his ex before you for the last 4 years that you were just a warm body until she came home? So he's one of those people that likes to have a fallback girl. so he can go out and do whatever he wants and always have someone to come home to. If he truly CARED...this new girl wouldn't even be in the picture. He would focused solely on working things out between the two of you. I know you're sad, but please keep being strong. Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 ive survived 3 months, but its been really hard. I have actually met someone else and hes making it really hard to give this guy 100%. I try to be happy but I have constant thoughts of the ex because it was 4 years of my life. He crys, begs, and asks for one more chance, that this time will be different. Why this time, because he knows Im really gone, when before he knew id be back? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 ive survived 3 months, but its been really hard. I have actually met someone else and hes making it really hard to give this guy 100%. I try to be happy but I have constant thoughts of the ex because it was 4 years of my life. He crys, begs, and asks for one more chance, that this time will be different. Why this time, because he knows Im really gone, when before he knew id be back? Had you known about the cheating before and stayed with him? Or was this the first time you found out? Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 That is why people go No Contact, so that they can move on and not be influenced by their exes, who are toxic for them. It would probably be a good idea to stop communicating with your ex at this point, so that you can explore the new relationship. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 How do you get over an ex of 7 years who was indeed your first love, who is the father of your only child that constantly tries to test the waters===what do you do? You cry a river, build a bride and get over it. Life goes on just consider yourself lucky you have no kids with that person. LOVE that! Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Share Posted September 25, 2008 update: i was with my boyfriend last night when my ex text me "come home." Just made my stomach hurt, I love the man, and wish we could have spent out lives together, but he cheated more then once, I cant go back to that. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 update: i was with my boyfriend last night when my ex text me "come home." Just made my stomach hurt, I love the man, and wish we could have spent out lives together, but he cheated more then once, I cant go back to that. I hope that you did not respond to him. You have a new boyfriend now and you need to focus on him, not the ex. Link to comment
broken07 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Share Posted September 25, 2008 i didn't respond, just let it be. It upset the current b/f because he wishes my ex would just go away. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 i didn't respond, just let it be. It upset the current b/f because he wishes my ex would just go away. Unfortunately, you cannot control the actions of your ex, but you can control your own actions. It is sad that you still have feelings for the ex, even though you are now with someone new. I can understand why the new guy would be upset....but you can't just turn off your feelings. These things take time. Link to comment
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