How happy are you?

[Darkness_Falls]

When I was a kid, I used to be happy pretty much 24/7. Ahh those were the days. But then you become an adult and things are more complicated, happens to everyone. So day by day, would you say that you are happy? I ask because I don't feel that I am. Most of the time I am actually quite tired which I think in turn makes me feel kinda blue. I have been struggling with depression and trying to get out of it. But sometimes I wonder, am I out of it? Is this what life is like? I want to feel more 'normal' but I don't really know what normal is.

 

This is why I am posing this question to you all. Do you have happy points during every day? Do you feel content? Do you feel down most of the time? What is normal? I know normal probably doesn't exist but I feel that what I feel just now isn't normal. If it is then I feel very sad that this is what normal is.

[Seraphim]

Yes, I have happiness every day. What helps is if you think less about yourself and go and help someone else. When you are helping other people you do not have time to think about being depressed and before you know it you feel good.

[ImThatGirl]

I'd say I am happy everyday. There are times that I get down, feel exhausted, fussy, irriatable.. But I take time to feel that way and then move on to feeling happy fairly quickly.

 

I remember a few years ago, I was stressed beyond belief.. crying my eyes out. "This isn't how it's suppose to be," I said. I had been upset for awhile at that point. A friend of mine over the phone pretty much told me to get over it, that this is how it is and you keep moving.

 

Even before then, I've had a way of positive thinking. Staying active, social, keeping a strong network of friends and family....

 

Eliminating negativity - either eliminate it all together or make changes so that I am happy with each aspect of my life. I refuse to spend much time on negativity because it is absolutely exhausting and consumes too much of my energy.

[MorbidMetalHead87]

I think me being too self aware as a teenager ruined my endless amounts off happiness I had as a child when I hit 13. kinda a drag but who was not like that? I do agree with what they say about as all haveing different things making different people happy. I guess the key to happiness is don't listen to someone elses advice on hwo to be happy, take you own advice.

[Mutley]

I get happiness sometimes.

 

I battle with angst, depression and boredom.

 

So it's alotta work.

[Seraphim]

Just remember it takes FAR more energy to be sad and upset than it does to be happy.

[Mutley]

yes... you are correct.

 

I have an obsessive mind as well....sometimes it's almost impossible to break the spin cycle.

 

I'm working on it.

[Darkness_Falls]

Thanks for your replies so far everyone. I find it difficult to be happy a lot of the time. I feel down by the smallest things, like a messy room or if my gerbils need cleaned out. I try to find the energy to do these things but sometimes I just start to cry. I don't leave my gerbils a long time without being cleaned out btw, just in case anyone thinks I'm mean lol.

 

My boyfriend recently moved in so I kinda need to expect my room to be a bit messy, it's not the biggest of rooms and we have quite a lot of stuff. I was feeling down before he moved in so I don't think that's the cause of it. Our relationship is probably one of the things that is going right.

[Mutley]

Sounds like you suffer from depression.

 

So do I.

 

Have sought professional help?

[sparkles4]

I'm way happier now than I was when I was a kid. My childhood was sorta lame, and I'm glad I'll never have to go back to those days. In some ways, I think my less-than-happy childhood helped me to be the happy person I am today. I think it must be hard to find a daily happiness if you had a great, carefree childhood and then grew up and were suddenly faced with life's disappointments and responsibilities. Adult life would seem terrible in comparison! Whereas in my case, I went through childhood thinking life was a miserable experience, and once I got older and had more control over my life, I decided things weren't all that bad and that I could actually be pretty happy.

[ImThatGirl]

Does sound like you may suffer from depression.

 

Just wanted to say that sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. I used to be on pins and needles if my place wasn't perfectly * * * * and span spotless. I have two kids by the way. Near impossible. lol Now, I remember that even if it's not * * * * and span, it's not terrible either and I will get to it.

 

Little issues don't last forever. Nor should they be obsessed about. Do your best. Accept yourself. Live your life with a focus of feeling better. It takes much work and you have to re-train your mind quite a bit to feel mostly optimistic and happy sometimes.

[Darkness_Falls]

I am on Citalopram 30mg for depression and I have had 4 counsellors, 3 in person and one online. The first one helped me get through my OCD, which I managed. I then went to uni and became depressed at the same time as my then boyfriend and I sought help from a counsellor again. Then the third most recent time was about 6 months ago. I was living in a flat where my friend was being abused by her boyfriend regularly, and my ex was also there and his new gf was around a lot and hated me, it was very complicated. After that counsellor (she made me feel worse about myself and my life, not better) I went for online help which was ok but again I was made to feel bad about my life. He said I needed to grow up and choose either my boyfriend or my friends. Basically I sometimes party with my friends and I love it, I meet new people etc. He said this was me living the single lifestyle and it wasn't fair on my boyfriend. However, my boyfriend is fine with my lifestyle and knows I would never cheat. So yeah, not really found a counsellor who understands me too well.

 

I tend to worry a lot about what I'm doing, where I'm going, the chores I will have to do when I get home. I get very easily stressed out by small things. Life just overwhelms me sometimes. I went to a spiritualist church yesterday because my fear of death started to raise its ugly head again a few nights ago. It was interesting but I'm not so sure about it.

[Mutley]

Shoot. You and I have much in common!!

 

Ya, know there are no easy answers. As stated above we must retrain our brains.

 

I find planning fun things (and doing them) help me quite a bit.

 

Boredom is my arch enemy. I still feel bored quite a bit.

[Darkness_Falls]

I find it interesting what was said about having a happy childhood and not so happy adulthood. I can say 100% truthfully that I had a great childhood. I love my parents to bits. It was a fun and loving childhood. Then I went to high school and the bullying started, friendships disappeared (my best left me because I wasn't cool enough for her, I didn't smoke etc) and things felt so much darker. I dealt with deaths of grandparents, animals, all those things I didn't deal with when I was a kid. So I guess it hit me hard.

 

So we are 2 of a kind then Mutley? Lucky us The thing is, that my life, when you look at it, doesn't have much wrong with it. I have a lovely boyfriend, we have a lot of passion for each other, I live in a much better flat now with a nice flatmate and my bf, I have a good job, got 2 pay rises this year.... there is just not much for me to feel down about. But I do. Still trying to figure it all out.

 

Mutley you may want to have a look at these 2 websites, the first one did more for me than a counsellor ever did: link removed and link removed The first one talks about planning fun things etc, just as you said.

[Mutley]

Thanks, I'll take a look at those.

 

It doesn't matter if everything is going well. It's brain chemistry and our thought patterns. Which we supposedly can change.

 

If things are going well for me...I'm bored.

 

If something negative happens, I spin into obsessive depression.

[ImThatGirl]

I'm curious to know Darkness - What's your regular routine like?

 

You refer to happiness in childhood. Childhood is full of carefree times, no worries or concerns, eat, go to school, and have fun. Oh yeah and sleep.

 

Sounds like you have a good job and a good relationship with your boyfriend.

 

Do you have many passions? Or hobbies? Or activities that you engage in or is your routine typically work and home?

[Mutley]

Do you have many passions? Or hobbies? Or activities that you engage in or is your routine typically work and home?

 

 

Yes, I do believe boredom is really bad for people like us.

[ImThatGirl]

Yes, I do believe boredom is really bad for people like us.

 

I agree. I can't say I relate 100% to depression. Maybe years ago. But I have found that the thing that keeps me happy and vibrant is to avoid boredom and to stay involved and social. Not that I don't enjoy many nights in or routine as it's a must for our family during the week.

[Darkness_Falls]

Hey all I will reply when I get home from work tonight, in an hour or so. You are really helping me x

[Darkness_Falls]

My routine is as follows: up at 7am, get ready, have breakfast and go for my bus at 7.30am. In work for 8am, keep an eye on the absenses (I work in a school) and for that hour I pretty much just check my emails, go on this forum, social networking sites etc. My boss comes in at 9am and then I go and distribute the mail. That takes me up to 10am and from then until lunch at 12.30pm I will just see what admin work needs done and if not much needs doing I may surf the net for a while. Then it's lunch and I will go to the canteen and sit with work colleagues then go back to the office and go on the net for half an hour if it's a Tue or Thur. On Mon/Wed/Fri I don't go back to the office until later because I do dog walking for the receptionist. I do other admin work and leave at 4pm.

 

Arrive home around 4.30pm. I then make the bed and get out of my work clothes. I will watch tv, or go on the internet or go to sleep until my boyfriend comes home at 6.30pm. Then we have dinner and he will usually play games in the evening, or we watch a dvd together. I will watch a girly film, read a magazine or do pen pal letters, or go on the internet. We go to bed around midnight. I guess I don't really do many interesting things.

[ImThatGirl]

What about the weekends?

[Darkness_Falls]

My Friday would consist of relaxing with my boyfriend, watching a movie, going on the internet, perhaps having a drink in the flat. Lately I have been having more weekends in because of money. So Saturday I would get up around 1pm, go on the internet, watch a movie, and the same for Sunday. Now and again we go to the cinema, and I would say that I am happiest when my bf takes me on his motorbike, it makes me feel great. If I am having a night out it will usually be Saturday night. I do love my nights out with the girls, drinking and going to metal clubs. But it doesn't happen as often because of money, and the drama that goes along with going out. Exes, my friends getting far too drunk, its just not fun anymore.

 

I thought about learning to drive a motorbike or car but I had 12 lessons in a car when I was 18 and I just couldn't do it. I have trouble with my left and right, and things that are practical. I am a lot better using my mind. So I don't think that will ever happen. I used to do horse riding as well but my left and right confusion got the better of me and I gave up. The woman at the school was yelling at me because I couldn't do it right. When people yell at me I get upset pretty much instantly.

 

My interests are animals (but me and my bf are allergic to almost every animal), witchcraft, (I don't practice much anymore, it seemed to stop working for me), girly movies, drinking and socialising, going on ebay when I have money. I guess I don't really pursue much of anything nowadays. It all just seemed not to work out.

 

For university I went and did vet nursing but had to give up because of allergies. Then I did publishing media, I didnt want to but my parents wanted me to get a degree. They wouldnt let me do many of the courses that I originally picked out, eg. paediatric nursing. I had no idea what course I wanted to do, I have never really had a direction in life since I was a kid, and I wanted to be a vet. I don't feel there is much I have ever really been that great at. I got my publishing degree but I don't even like reading. Blah, not feeling too great.

[civilservant]

Talking of happiness, I had a pair of Mormons cone to the door today. The opening question was 'what makes you happy?'

 

I have to be honest, I was at a loss to answer that, which probably says more about me than I care to admit.