ineffable101 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 So I really like my best friend's older brother. He took my virginity and we've had sex twice. I told her that we had sex because I was worried that she'd find out and I would rather her have heard it from me than someone else and she got really, really mad at me. Her brother and I have been hooking up on and off for 5 years now but we're afraid to get into a relationship because of my best friend. I don't want to lose her because she means the world to me but I don't think it's fair that I feel like I have to choose between the two of them. Is it wrong of me to want to date him even though it really upsets her? Or is it wrong of her to try to keep me from dating someone I really like, even if it is her brother? Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 No,it's not wrong,those kind of things happen.I can see why she would be upset but she should eventually get over it.If she can't get over it ,then she really isn't much of a friend.Perhaps for a while you should be discreet about the relationship,but don't let it stop you. Link to comment
i_win Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Pure curiosity here. How do you hook up on and off for 5 years and only have sex twice?! Link to comment
monkey123 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 i just made a post about something like this a couple of days ago. Only its my friends younger sister. here is the link some people gave me some good advice i think that if u guys really like each other then there is no reason ur friend should care. Its better to have a good friend of hers be with him then some other girl that she doesnt know or trust. Even if she is mad at first she will realize that its a good thing i think.... i hope cuz im in the same type of situation. Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I think hooking up is worse than being in a relationship. Just hooking up is a little like I won't say it. But I think you guys shouldn't be scared and just go for it. If shes a true best friend she'll come around and understand. Link to comment
ineffable101 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Pure curiosity here. How do you hook up on and off for 5 years and only have sex twice?! Well, like I said, he took my virginity so I'm not exactly totally comfortable with sex yet, he's the only guy I've ever had sex with. We just made out and had oral sex and things like that for the first 4 years until I finally felt comfortable enough to actually go all the way. He's also had a few girlfriends between us hooking up which slowed things down a bit. Link to comment
ColorBlue Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I think its wrong of her to keep you from having an open relationship with her older brother. I can..Sort of understand why, but really now, it shouldnt be that big of a deal that someone She knows is dating one of her family members. If you want to be with this guy, then go ahead, but try to make things better with your friend. Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Well, like I said, he took my virginity so I'm not exactly totally comfortable with sex yet, he's the only guy I've ever had sex with. We just made out and had oral sex and things like that for the first 4 years until I finally felt comfortable enough to actually go all the way. He's also had a few girlfriends between us hooking up which slowed things down a bit. He's had gfs between you guys hooking up? See this is all just rather disgusting to me, maybe your friend is mad because she knows her brother. If this guy had any respect he man up and be with you. The whole open relationship is a little disgusting to me, especially if its the guy you first had sex with. Link to comment
ineffable101 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 He's had gfs between you guys hooking up? See this is all just rather disgusting to me, maybe your friend is mad because she knows her brother. If this guy had any respect he man up and be with you. The whole open relationship is a little disgusting to me, especially if its the guy you first had sex with. I can understand where you're coming from but we both are in a tough situation because we don't want to upset my friend/his sister. Not only that but his mom would be outraged if she knew about us and she has a temper, is an alcoholic, and sometimes gets physical with her kids. I don't mind that he's had girlfriends, I've had boyfriends throughout this situation too. Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Everyone is different. But I still stand by if he had respect for you he be with you and work everything else out as it came along. Link to comment
ineffable101 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Everyone is different. But I still stand by if he had respect for you he be with you and work everything else out as it came along. You might be right. I really appreciate your opinion. Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Its just an excuse for a man to have. To me its not right, he should man up if he wants to be with you. Link to comment
Fisch Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thats kind of messed up. There are so many people in the world, its not that hard to avoid getting involved with the few people that can ruin our relationships with close friends and family. Its really not that hard. Link to comment
SimplySasha Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 You know, I had the biggest crush on my friend's older brother. I wondered for the longest time why he never seemed to want to do anything with me even though I practically threw myself at him. Years later we spoke and he told me that he thought I was very hot, but he respected my and his sister's friendship too much to do that sort of thing to either of us and now thinking back on it, it makes sense. It makes me wonder how this guy really feels about you. Link to comment
i_win Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 You know, I had the biggest crush on my friend's older brother. I wondered for the longest time why he never seemed to want to do anything with me even though I practically threw myself at him. Years later we spoke and he told me that he thought I was very hot, but he respected my and his sister's friendship too much to do that sort of thing to either of us and now thinking back on it, it makes sense. It makes me wonder how this guy really feels about you. Isn't that the kind of man you'd want to be with though. Someone with those kinds of principals? Kind of a double edged sword. Link to comment
SimplySasha Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Isn't that the kind of man you'd want to be with though. Someone with those kinds of principals? Kind of a double edged sword. It is, but he ended up knocking up some girl that already had 2 kids, so in the end I guess it works out! Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 well if you are both single now and want to try to make something work why dont you both sit down and have a talk with your friend. the part about the mother though you may wanna keep a secret a bit longer. Link to comment
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