to anyone whos thinking about self harming

[Red_2008]

Hey guys, my names laura. Im 19. Basically im not here because im going through any emotional termoil or anything. I did, once! I grew up in a family who were realtively well off. My mum drank quite a lot. Im not sure if shed qualify for being an alcoholic or anything. But anyway, when she drank we'd argue. She'd get violet and hit me, strangle me, tell me she hated me. It got to a point where i felt like i didnt know what to do. It sound so so stupid but i watched hollyoaks and saw someone self harm on there. So next time i felt really sad, i tried it. It was only the start. I couldnt believe that something so stupid as a soap had kind of influenced my self harming. I felt really stupid and didnt tell anyone. As you can probably appreciate, i felt like i was being silly and people would get angry. This eventually progressed into me trying to take my own life. Although to be honest im not sure i wanted to die, maybe it was kind of like me trying to do something i knew was really serious just so i aknowledged to myself that i was feeling this * * * * ty. It was more to satisfy my urge. Now i look back a few things i did, and dont mind admitting are. I probably didnt want to die, but that doesnt mean i did it for attention. It means i did it because i felt like it at the time. And if i had died it wouldnt have been so bad. And, also i dont mind admitting that i didnt cut that deep. At first i thought this meant i wasnt doing it properly so i shouldnt call it self harm. But now i know that i did self harm, you dont have to go crazy and cut yourself really deep. It got to the point where even when i wasnt that sad. I didnt have to be crying or anything, sometimes i self harmed just because i felt like i needed a realease. It became force of habit. This is something i used to feel really stupid about, but now i realise this is probably normal for someone that self harmed.

 

Im basically here to offer advice. Ive been through it and got over it. So if you want to talk then im here like. If you feel stupid for doing something then just message me, and chances are other people have done the same thing.

 

 

I have moved on and im very comfortable with myslef, and i know and understand my own head. I arent blowing my own trumpet but i feel like i could really help a few of you.

 

If you want to talk you know where i am

Laura

[sunset sun rise lover]

i cant pm you but i would like to talk to u

[redhearts]

Red you need to post around more for people to be able to message you.