Jump to content

the boyfriend lied to me


2900
Have You Been Lied To In a Relation...
Have You Been Lied To In a Relationship?

Recommended Posts

well, not so much lied as kept something very huge secret from me. and kept it from me for the past year and a half!!! and i found out thru someone else. anyway, everyone has told me to leave him, he is not worth the drama. i've decided to stay with him. bc im a dummy lol. but i love him very much. now my issue is to regain trust in him again. idk how to go about doing it...if its even possible. opinions? comments? advice?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, he has a baby's mama. they have a kid thats 4 years old. and he got her prego before we got together, and he never mentioned it to me ever. now, that baby is 5 months old...and just i found out about him from the baby's mama.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What did he keep from you?

 

The trouble with making the choice to stay with him if you haven't forgiven him and can't trust him is that your feelings will erode your relationship and destroy it.

 

If you can't get past what he did than your best option is to break it off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, he has a baby's mama. they have a kid thats 4 years old. and he got her prego before we got together, and he never mentioned it to me ever. now, that baby is 5 months old...and just i found out about him from the baby's mama.

 

That's a pretty big secret to keep from your partner. How long have you been with this guy?

 

How do you feel about the fact that he has children with another woman, aside from the fact that he lied to you about it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, he has a baby's mama. they have a kid thats 4 years old. and he got her prego before we got together, and he never mentioned it to me ever. now, that baby is 5 months old...and just i found out about him from the baby's mama.

 

A man that will hide his child is disgusting.

 

Does that maths mean he was cheating on you with her aswell?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is... quite a secret...

 

Has he offered any explanation?

 

yes. he said he wasn't sure if the baby was his or not...bc at the time she got prego she had a bf. he said after he was sure the kid was his...he just didn't know how to tell me and was afraid of how i would react.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a pretty big secret to keep from your partner. How long have you been with this guy?

 

How do you feel about the fact that he has children with another woman, aside from the fact that he lied to you about it?

 

well...it does bother me that he has two children with her. if i had known prior to falling for him, i wouldn't have given him the time of day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes. he said he wasn't sure if the baby was his or not...bc at the time she got prego she had a bf. he said after he was sure the kid was his...he just didn't know how to tell me and was afraid of how i would react.

 

Honestly, IF TRUE, it's a good explanation. You weren't together. He doesn't owe you a detailed explanation of who he was with before you ever came into the picture. If she had a bf while he was with her, it's perfectly right and normal to question paternity, and he may wanted to avoid the drama in case the baby turned out NOT to be his.

 

That said ... don't you think it's kinda slimy that he was with a girl who was in a relationship already?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, IF TRUE, it's a good explanation. You weren't together. He doesn't owe you a detailed explanation of who he was with before you ever came into the picture. If she had a bf while he was with her, it's perfectly right and normal to question paternity, and he may wanted to avoid the drama in case the baby turned out NOT to be his.

 

That said ... don't you think it's kinda slimy that he was with a girl who was in a relationship already?

 

well...i want to say yes. but i am not goin to judge him for that action...im not exactly an angel myself. i mean, so far so faithful...but its a very tuff thing for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well...i want to say yes. but i am not goin to judge him for that action...im not exactly an angel myself. i mean, so far so faithful...but its a very tuff thing for me.

 

Ok, that's cool. Well, as I said, I think it's legitimate excuse that he questioned paternity and wanted to wait until he was sure. He could've told you a little sooner, but he obviously was concerned about how you'd take it. But if I were in a similar situation, I don't know that I'd do differently than what you did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, that's cool. Well, as I said, I think it's legitimate excuse that he questioned paternity and wanted to wait until he was sure. He could've told you a little sooner, but he obviously was concerned about how you'd take it. But if I were in a similar situation, I don't know that I'd do differently than what you did.

 

i almost left him bc of it. not just bc he didn't tell, but then his baby's mama was tryin to break us up too. saying that they were engaged and a bunch of other stuff. sigh...after lots of thought, my heart won over my head and i decided to stay with him. but it's so hard to trust him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you don't trust in your relationship, what do you got? Anxiety? Worry? You don't know whats next?

 

Is that neccessarily fair to say when his child's mother is throwing around stuff like that?

 

OP.

 

I don't neccessarily think he should be off the hook, that's something for the two of you to reconcile, but it's unreasonable for us to expect you to have complete and total surety of trust when faced not only with his child, but his ex trying to break you up by feeding you lies...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

no he did not cheat on me...as far as i know. she got prego in aug and we didn't get together until march.

 

This still doesn't make sense to me. She got prego in AUGUST and you guys didn't get together until March. So March after August, or the March that year before August?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...