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The lonelyness is starting to get to me


coldplay.

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Hi guys, i feel so terrible, everything feels so hopeless... i absolutely hate my life in every aspect, i hate the person i am in so many ways... im so alone i dont understand how people can just 'belong'. Its like people i used to know are blossoming, and i just withdraw further and further i really dont understand it at all. It hurts so bad, and i just know what to do anymore, just existing in this crap brings me so low... i honestly dont know if i can succeed like this, i dont know what im going to do, i didnt go to a single class today because i woke up and nearly had a panic attack. I feel like i being optimistic is getting no where, life is just passing me by. I cant get a grasp on anything, and ontop of it all, i miss my ex so much, she was my best friend, my good feeling. She hasnt spoke to me in months.

 

I know its kind of a vent, but i really dont know what to do, im trying so hard and its starting to break down on me, and im still just alone.

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It feels like to me that my life has past me by. I am 30 years old and I still live at home. I don't have a lot of friends. I drive an ugly eye sore, same car I had in HS. I hardly make any income at all, my job right now sucks I get no hrs. I never had a relationship or a gf yet. I don't go out a lot because I don't have money to spend at all. I still have a lot of bills to pay. I decided last year to go back to school to get a different major. Right now I am finishing up school and I will be done in December.

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