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My best friend no longer wants me in his life


ycmanvs

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I just got an email from my best friend telling me that he no longer wants me in his life. I have been depressed for the past couple of weeks and I have had some minor health issues.

He is having problems with his wife and I was stuck in the middle. Whenever I hang out with both of them, I have to watch them fight and bully each other. I told them that I don't want to be in the middle, and now he is blaming me for his unhappiness and telling me that he no longer wants to talk to me.

I am very confused. I sent an email telling him that I want to keep in touch and that I hope he can work out his issues with his wife, but I doubt that I will ever hear from him again.

With friends like mine, who needs enemies, right?

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I am not sure what to do because I am friends with his wife as well. I suppose I need to respect his need for space...or whatever this is, but I have no idea what happened and why he is shutting me out of his life. They had been talking about getting a divorce for the past year, but have not filed the papers or anything. I hate being blamed for things that are not under my control.

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Wel your friend is not your enemy, he is the victim of rather unfortunate circumstances that currently give him a grim outlook on life.

 

If you are a real friend, then you would send him an e-mail that would give him the possibility to get in touch with a marriage counseller. Furthermore i would advice him and tell him that you hold him in high regards, and hope he and his wife will act as a team to hit the ball instead of the players, and tackle their problems by working together to solve them instead of fighting eachother. Also if you do not get any response, send him a card with the adress of the marriage counceller on it in a letter adressed to him.

 

Do that ,and Keep us updated.

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They tried marriage counseling but even that did not work. I have no way of helping but I am also not the cause of their problems and that is what hurts the most. The fact that I am being blamed for his unhappiness. I did send an email wishing them well and explaining that this is not my fault and that I hope they can work things out.....but that does not mean that I will ever hear from him again.

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If he doesn't say why he blames you for his unhappiness, then how do you know that you're not a part of the problem? You may very well have nothing to do with it, but until he communicates why he blames you, you don't really know what the problem actually is. Whatever it is, it's serious enough that he doesn't want you in his life anymore. I think you should try to find out.

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His wife is not blaming me because she is still in touch with me and does not know that he feels this way. He says that he is annoyed and does not want to deal with anyone or anything. He says that he is depressed as well and cannot be around me as a result. I think that he has some issues with relationships in general and he cannot handle communicating his problems. I am upset that a friendship has to end like this.

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Well, what I would do is send him an e-mail or a letter that says, you are sorry for all the things going on in his life and that you regret that he does not want you in it. Tell him that you will respect his wishes and that you will always care deeply for him as a friend and hopes that he will change his mind someday. Then you walk away with your dignity intact. And who knows what the future holds? He may remember your kindness and your respect and wish for you to be back in it. People say things they regret when they are not themselves. And it sounds like he's not himself right now. But it's not up to you to save him.

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He sent another email telling me that he is depressed and upset and that he cannot be around me and does not want to talk about it, so....I sent him an email telling him that I understand how he feels and that I hope he will be able to work out his issues and be happy someday.

I think that is enough for now. I am not sure what will happen next. I hope that we can be friends again.

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He sent another email telling me that he is depressed and upset and that he cannot be around me and does not want to talk about it, so....I sent him an email telling him that I understand how he feels and that I hope he will be able to work out his issues and be happy someday.

I think that is enough for now. I am not sure what will happen next. I hope that we can be friends again.

I think that was the right move to make. He's well aware that he's not in his right frame of mind. And even if it's not today, he will eventually recognize and appreciate the value of a friend who accepts him even at his worst moments. And even if it's unintentional, he's actually doing you a favor right now in not letting his drama affect your life.
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I think that was the right move to make. He's well aware that he's not in his right frame of mind. And even if it's not today, he will eventually recognize and appreciate the value of a friend who accepts him even at his worst moments. And even if it's unintentional, he's actually doing you a favor right now in not letting his drama affect your life.

 

I am looking at it as a positive thing in the end. I was very uncomfortable being in the middle of the fights with his wife and being asked to take sides when we would all get together. I told them that I did not want to be a part of this and that must be why he is no longer interested in keeping in touch with me.

I wonder if his wife will try to contact me. She does not have any other friends in the area.

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