Do they eventually contact you?

[Dani0613]

In circumstances where the dumpee coudn't be friends with the dumper.

The dumper wanted the dumpee in his/her life because he/she still loved him/her to some degree.

The dumpee initiated NC.

 

Has anyone experienced a similar situation? Did you ever hear from your ex again? Or, did he/she respect your wishes and never contact you again?

 

I'm curious to know how many people still have some degree of contact with an ex even AFTER they went NC. If so, how long were you NC before being in touch again?

[R41N]

I went NC about 4 months ago, told my ex to not contact me and respect my wishes. After 4 months, she contacts me and we are currently on LC. She said she really missed me and couldn't wait any longer... I actually heard from a few of our mutual friends that she wanted to call earlier on but didn't because she still wanted to respect my wishes.

 

But yes I do believe that ur ex will eventually contact you, it's just matter of time. After all, that person really did love you at one point of their lives. It's just hard to pretend that person no longer exists when he/she is just a call or a street away...

[ycmanvs]

Most ex's do contact you, unless there was some sort of horrible break-up....with restraining orders and things like that. Sometimes it takes a couple of years...other times just a couple of weeks.

[Dani0613]

Thanks everyone.

 

If you were able to read any of my previous posts, you'll see that our break up was amicable. The circumstances surrounding our break up were definitely attributed to her issues and problems that she's reluctant to confront and address. She has been adamant about how I am/was as a partner and that I deserve so much. She DOES love me. I know this for sure. Being 'in love' any longer is really up to her discretion. She runs away from her feelings once that fear of losing something special intervenes.

 

Though NC is best for me right now, I truly hope that we're able to be a part of each other's lives eventually because I miss the friendship that we had and the bond we so effortlessly were able to create.

 

It's only been 8 days since we last spoke and I told her to not call me until she could have a relationship. She said 'ok' and that she would respect my decision.

[Jay_Bird]

me and my ex was together for 4 months

 

we broke up on good terms,and for another 3 months we were still acting like bf/gf

 

but then she started acting weird on me by the end,our last argument she told me she doesn't love me anymore

 

and she rebounded with another guy,haven't talked to her ever sense I found out she is with someone else

 

haven't spoke to her for 2 weeks now

[Kain27]

I have been broken up with my ex for about 4 months now. I ignored her for most of the second month. After that i finally told her i didn't want to talk to her so i went NC and we haven't said anything to each other for over 2 months now, at least i know i haven't..... She quickly left me for someone else and now she has been with him this entire time. I would assume i will get one some day but i don't know how i will react when it does happen.

[Miam]

Eventually we're still good friends and still talking to each other about our life and personal stuff. i don't see anything is wrong with that, though i'm not saying my current BF is understanding, but trying not to let him know about this. i'm not cheating on this.

[PixelPusher]

Your situation sounds similar to mine. Despite her cheating, etc we still split fairly amicably and she said she still wanted me in her life, blah blah blah. I stuck around and hung out with her and our group of friends for a month or so after we split but the pain was too much. I told her I needed time and space. She was sad but understood and thankfully respected that (other than a drunken 3am phone call or two).

 

After a month, I felt a lot better. After six months I was back to my pre-marriage happy self. Now 2.5 years later, my life has never been better. She still contacts me a couple times per year via email, but it's all about leftover business (debt splitting, etc).

 

Going NC was the best thing I ever did.

[D_Lish]

Sometimes it takes a couple of years...other times just a couple of weeks.

 

And in some cases, ten years....

 

I only think they ever contact again, if there was ever any true love there...

 

If not and their heart was never truly in the relationship, they most likely won't return.

[The_411]

My ex contacted me after 3 months for a "business issue"

 

then was silent for 5 more months and contacted me.

 

 

I would say that most of the time exes will contact you.

 

I think it depends on how involved you were with your ex.

 

In my case both parents had met and we were living together and marriage was on the horizon.

 

I think age also plays a role. My guess is that the older the two people were the more likely contact will be made because the two parties are more mature.

[littlestar]

Some do and some don't.

[QWit]

Honestly, the best thing that you can do is stop worrying if they are going to contact you.. You are really delaying your healing because you are wondering if your ex will make contact.. So, as hard as it is, you really have to stop thinking like that.. Trust me, I know.. My ex broke up with me almost 3 months ago. We were together for almost 5 years off and on..He told me he loves me but not in love with me.. I have been on NC since.. Yes, I have those thoughts too, but it's those thoughts that will drive you crazy.. So, we need to realize we are worth more than what we settle for.. When we heal and see things clearly, you never know, your ex might see what they are missing and come back or you may find someone much better than them.. Trust me, I know where you're coming from and I am learning this myself..