almost 17 and treated like im 5

[babygirl1991]

So my bday is this wed. and i was gonna stay at a friends house (like 4 blocks away) and i asked my mom if it was okay.. and shes pulls "I need to speak to a parent" {EDIT} im 17 not 5.

I understand when she used to pull that {EDIT} when i was cutting, drinking, and smoking (a yr. ago) but now ive been clean for almost a yr. and shes pulling this crap {EDIT}

I cant stand this woman.. I wanna be {EDIT} trusted!!!!!!! Im moving out this summer and getting married this summer and im still getting treated like im 5..... She could fall off the face of the damm earth and at this point i wouldnt give a {EDIT}

 

I havent done ANYTHING wrong!!!!!! and what i wanna stay at a friends for the 1st time since my dad died and shes all retarded on me!!!

I CANT STAND HER!!! omfg

[chopperboy]

Trust is earned, and it sounds like you've had some setbacks. Your mom is just being mom. Hey, in some way 17 is worse than 5 - you've got all the hormones, but still none of the life experience

[girl friend]

man i don't know what to tell you hun... only that you are growing up so fast,, but remember you were always your mums little child, and she must love you an awful lot.

 

does it really matter if she speaks to a parent?

 

To be fair i've got a friend whos only just turned 18 and i'm soooo protective of her lol so i sorta know what its like.

sometimes other people can see how vulnerable someone is but they can't see it themselves at that time...

[chopperboy]

Moms get better as you get older. You'll appreciate her sometime, though it probably doesn't help to hear now. Take some space to cool off, if you can.

[babygirl1991]

It matter because it shows that i have NO trust...after 11 months of being good.. not drinking smoking ect. all for what? NO TRUST.

 

and the fact that i get married this summer and move out and she still wants to talk to my friends parent? So basically all the work ive done trying to earn some trust was just all blown up in my face

[Dragunov-21]

you tried to talk it through with her at all?

 

like the adult you want to be treated like, I mean?

[girl friend]

I was always pretty good as a kid, smart, right crowds, A student, the only one in our family to go to uni, etc and i still had to lie to my parents when i was 17 about who i was hanging out with, and that bugged me. My mum always had something to say, or didn't want me alone with a boy she hadn't interrogated, or my friends swore to much for her.. etc. So it was necessary to lie. Sometimes it is.

 

But wow wow slow down hun getting married at 17, i don't think thats a good idea,.. maybe this kinda behaviour is why she can't trust you... can't you just chill ? take things slow? be a kid for now.

 

i mean theres no need to rush these things, no harm in waiting. you know that 2 young people who fall in love at 16 will be virtually unrecognisable to each other at 24, you've got so much changing to do...

[babygirl1991]

yeah. and when i try to talk to her like an adult she gets all pissed and acts like a 2 yr. old and just blows what i have to say off..

 

i cant stand her anymore its driving me crazy!!! so ill basically have to lie.

[redhearts]

Lying makes it worse. I don't see how she consented to you getting married before 18, yet doesn't let you stay over at a friends. Does she think your staying at your fiances'? Or have you ever stayed over there?

[babygirl1991]

i stay their all the time.. thats ok..

Its just for some reason she has a boot up her butt about somthing and its driving me nutz.

 

Ill do w.e i want then if she wants to be stupid

[redhearts]

She hasn't signed off to letting you marry though, right? Because if your waiting till the summer, hmm looks like your going to have to do some good behavior to keep her on board.

[babygirl1991]

yeah shes signed me off..

 

and she wont take it back....

[redhearts]

yeah shes signed me off..

 

and she wont take it back....

 

On a marriage license? Can't you only have that for up to a certain amount of days before it expires, till you get married? LOL Sorry, but anyways. If you already talked to your mom rationally, without yelling or arguing and shes just being unfair. I don't see what the big deal would be of her talking to your friends mom. Whats so bad about that? What could she possibly say? You could always get someone to be "your friends mom" LOL.

[greywolf]

yeah. and when i try to talk to her like an adult she gets all pissed and acts like a 2 yr. old and just blows what i have to say off..

 

i cant stand her anymore its driving me crazy!!! so ill basically have to lie.

 

If you want to be treated like an adult you should act like one. Lying is irresponsible and childish.

[sophie274]

I think she is treating you like a normal 17 year old - same I would have been treated at that age. Regardless of the changes you have made, I'm sure your mom thinks that good discipline/keeping a watchful eye will help you. You will look back later and realize that she is supporting you, not stunting your development. I might also add that given that your younger sister is pregnant, and given your pregnancy scare (did you work that out btw?), she has reason to be cautious. I know you feel grown up, but you are still a child. A teenager, but definitely not an adult. I'm 21 now, and I realize that I am still not quite an adult yet either.

[15 Storeys High]

Right. Stop with the swearing for starters. This is a no swearing forum. Second. Act like an adult and perhaps you'll be treated like one.

[babygirl1991]

lol yeah my friends and i are planning on something...

Might have an older friend act like a dad.. my mom will tell them i cant leave at night..

(yeah thats gonna happen NOT)

 

so i wanna have freedom!!! so w.e or i might just deal and stay at my mans house...

shes just stupid and unreasonable

[hers]

lol yeah my friends and i are planning on something...

Might have an older friend act like a dad.. my mom will tell them i cant leave at night..

(yeah thats gonna happen NOT)

 

so i wanna have freedom!!! so w.e or i might just deal and stay at my mans house...

shes just stupid and unreasonable

 

When you finally reach "adulthood", all you'll want is to be a carefree teenager again with no worries.

 

Act like an adult and you'll be treated like one. Until then, savor your teenage years b/c 10 years from now, you'll wanna be 16 again.

[greywolf]

and if i wanted another mom i would have asked for one KAY KAY THANKS

 

I know you feel mature and responsible already. But honestly, your posts speak otherwise.

 

When I was 17 I thought I was an adult. Now that I'm older I realize that I still have so much to learn about life.

[15 Storeys High]

Just follow the rules. You've had your warning. Your choice.

[babygirl1991]

i know im not an adult cause my anger its just she pushes my buttons..

and shes done that my whole life.. shes more of a child then i am..

THIS woman has been married 4 times and 1 was old enough to be my older brother..

 

i just cant stand her anymore

[redhearts]

I'll be honest, but I'll probably make you mad as hell. So I apologise.

 

To be truthful you act like an immature 14 year old who wants to be treated like a 25 year old living on their own. Regardless that you are getting married, that you think your ready for that, your mom is stuck in still trying to be a good parent to you. She doesn't want you to get into any trouble. She has her own fears and concerns for your well being. If you want your mother to treat you as a more responsible person, then you have to make compromises. Possibly if you could go out, but have a curfew. Or why not just spend the birthday night with your fiance? Is there a need to go hang out with your friends and stay out late? Maybe shes been in your shoes before and knows what your going through, so she is trying to help because it doesn't sound like you have a reasonable head on your shoulders. Maybe she doesn't want you to end up in her shoes, so shes being cautious.

[hers]

i know im not an adult cause my anger its just she pushes my buttons..

and shes done that my whole life.. shes more of a child then i am..

THIS woman has been married 4 times and 1 was old enough to be my older brother..

 

i just cant stand her anymore

 

You can't change it. You just need to learn to live wiht it. Bottom line, she's the adult, even if you think she acts more like a child than you do. My mom is the same way--I practically have to babysit my mom in some situations, and I know I have a lot more common sense than she does. But at 16, she was my mom, my parent, and I had to lisetn to her.

 

If you don't want to be treated like a baby, act like the bigger person. Don't let it get to you so much that you can't do what you want. Of course you cant--you're 16. You're a child still. I know you don't like hearing it, but it's the truth. Learn to accept it, be more mature in sitautions, and you'll be treated as such.

[babygirl1991]

Its ok I can handle hearing it because its true.

And i dont want to just spend my bday with him cause i spend every wakeing moment with him.. but i just told my mom thats fine ill find something else to do..

 

she suggested go bowling or something..

she didnt give me a curfew but probably will the night of

[hers]

Its ok I can handle hearing it because its true.

And i dont want to just spend my bday with him cause i spend every wakeing moment with him.. but i just told my mom thats fine ill find something else to do..

 

she suggested go bowling or something..

she didnt give me a curfew but probably will the night of

 

So deal with that. What are you guys planning to do? Bowling is fun and is even more fun with a group of people. Do that, have a curfew, see if she'll raise your curfew as a birthday present, maybe like an hour or 2. If she doesn't, don't fight her on it. Just agree and be the bigger man.