Cognitive_Canine Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I don't know how to get rid of the fears. As for the ex, it was a mutual breakup. Yes I kissed him but I also kissed someone else this past weekend.....And I figured if I really don't think about it often then I really don't like him. Eep. Wow, you seem to be really all over the place emotionally. I'd stop kissing guys and work on your emotional baggage from your ex. You shouldn't be afraid of relationships. Link to comment
grymoire Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I don't know how to get rid of the fears. As for the ex, it was a mutual breakup. Yes I kissed him but I also kissed someone else this past weekend.....And I figured if I really don't think about it often then I really don't like him. Eep. ok fine.... but just don't say "eek" any more because your friend developed feelings for you when your behavior is not that great... Link to comment
My Advice Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 sweet you wont know if you like him till he you have the threat of losing him, and even then you wont know if you almost lost him, got with him, then actually find yourself happy. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 sweet you wont know if you like him till he you have the threat of losing him, and even then you wont know if you almost lost him, got with him, then actually find yourself happy. Yeah, irony will come around the bend soon enough. When he gets a girlfriend, you'll be ready to like him. Happens every time. I really think that you should get your act together emotionally and try something with this guy. I bet you do like him, don't ya? Link to comment
sweetooth Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 I will continue to work on myself. Thank you for your honest advice. Sometimes you just need to hear the honest truth from someone else. Link to comment
My Advice Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 eah, irony will come around the bend soon enough. When he gets a girlfriend, you'll be ready to like him. Happens every time. I really think that you should get your act together emotionally and try something with this guy. I bet you do like him, don't ya?--- Debaser you sure your 19? I am not sure if I agree or not with the advice without knowing more but seems like most twenties and thirties on here don't catch life's ironies. Link to comment
sweetooth Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 But really, I was serious about getting over those fears...Is there any advice? How do you know if it's just a fear vs. not being ready to settle down? Link to comment
My Advice Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 sweet, you are 19 right? It's probably both. Bad experiences combined with the fact that why should you be ready to settle down yet? You have plenty of time to settle down later. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 eah, irony will come around the bend soon enough. When he gets a girlfriend, you'll be ready to like him. Happens every time. I really think that you should get your act together emotionally and try something with this guy. I bet you do like him, don't ya?--- Debaser you sure your 19? I am not sure if I agree or not with the advice without knowing more but seems like most twenties and thirties on here don't catch life's ironies. Yeah, I'm 19. I get asked that a lot. Link to comment
lnxfrkk Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I myself am someone who likes a really good friend of mine, but they don't have the same feelings. I know how it feels. They have known this for along time, but continue our friendship. I hope for more in the future, but know nothing will ever happen. Link to comment
sweetooth Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 I wasn't saying I should settle down. In my mind, having a relationship, well, isn't the point of having them is to ultimately find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Sure dating can be fun and light, but isn't the eventual point to get married? For me, I don't see why any person would want to be in a relationship if they just want to mess around or have fun. So.....In theory, I can just keep kissing guys, no? I say kissing, not sleeping.... But maybe that's just my view. But anyway, I have decided to end the friendship. It just no longer feels right. It should not have dragged out this long. It was not fair to him or me. I think my main problem in regards to relationships of any type is succumbing to guilt. Now mind you, I'm a strong person but yet people seem to be able to guilt me. I'm no pushover. I'm quite fiesty...yet.... I am learning though to say no and mean no and NOT feel bad. Again, thanks for reading my posts. sweet, you are 19 right? It's probably both. Bad experiences combined with the fact that why should you be ready to settle down yet? You have plenty of time to settle down later. Link to comment
sweetooth Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 I myself am someone who likes a really good friend of mine, but they don't have the same feelings. I know how it feels. They have known this for along time, but continue our friendship. I hope for more in the future, but know nothing will ever happen. So why do you continue being friends? Because of that hope? Link to comment
lnxfrkk Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Yes and no. She is a great person and we have been friends for 11 years.It's not easy to let go to all that time. It's not fair to her to let our friendship go because of the strong feelings I have for her. It's not fair to me to continue to pursue her and rip myself down trying to become more. Link to comment
Perfection Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I'm sure that feelings can go away even if they're still friends with you. no they don't. Link to comment
My Advice Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 es and no. She is a great person and we have been friends for 11 years.It's not easy to let go to all that time. It's not fair to her to let our friendship go because of the strong feelings I have for her. It's not fair to me to continue to pursue her and rip myself down trying to become more.--- It is far more fair for you to let it go until you are over her than it is unfair for her. If she is your friend she should be understanding. Take a year off from her. I am betting you are still holding out hope and that is why you want to stay around her. Link to comment
lnxfrkk Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thank you. Yes I am still holding out hope, but the feelings will never go away unless I'm away competely. There were times we didn't see each other and talk for years. I was fine then. Link to comment
penguin12 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Depends on his or her way of dealing with it, I guess. If the person in love with you can't handle it, keeps making moves on you even though you've made it clear that you aren't interested, than maybe it is best to end the friendship, as the person obviously isn't respecting your boundaries. If, however, the person can handle it relatively well and respects your feelings, than I don't see why you shouldn't try to respect his/her feelings too. I think it would be rather cruel to end the friendship, just because the person in question decided to be honest with you. Friends should always be able to be honest with each other, right? Just my two cents. Link to comment
sweetooth Posted October 3, 2008 Author Share Posted October 3, 2008 Well I thought I wanted to ended it, but it I didn't. Although I don't think things will be the same, we are still friends. I know I have some of my own issues to deal with and I'm trying to, it just gets confusing. Link to comment
cazzabazz Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I'm sure that feelings can go away even if they're still friends with you. Most people just get over it. I really hope this can be true, because someone I've become very close too has feelings for me, but because of my emotional issues (depression, fear of being with someone, etc), I told him from day 1 that nothing could happen. It's hard though because I really want to feel that way about him, but I can't feel anything for anybody right now & I know it's hard for him too coz he has feelings he can't act on even though I wish he could. Neither of us can handle no contact though, so we're seeing how we do as friends (not that we've never been anything else, but it is more than your average casual friendship really). Losing a best friend is too awful to think about so I hope it's possible to overcome the hurdle of unrequited feelings. Link to comment
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