waiting for someone

[ngx335]

here's the backstory

 

me and my ex-girlfriend were high school sweethearts first loves first everything. dated up until recently about 4 years. During this relationship we were both extremely young both 17 when met 21 now. I was not mature enough to handle a relationship like that being so young, I know I have tons of things to work on but the love we both had for each other was very strong. Due to me always pushing her away constantly breaking up, until our relationship started to dwindle until it finally came to an end about 3 months ago.

We both went NC for a while to find ourselves. Recently we have begun to reconcile but she was in the middle of a relationship with another guy. Note that I didn't know this during our rekindling period so that was not my motive to get her back. She was very close to leaving this guy to get back with me even telling him that she was gonna give me another shot. However she

couldn't go on with it because she is such a sweet and good person she felt that it wasn't fair to the other guy who had put so much effort towards her. After she told me this she said she was scared I was gonna push her away and hurt her again that she needed some stability from me but that she loves me knows we are meant to be together.Understandably I backed off knowing it wasn't fair to my ex her her new flame. So now I am stuck here waiting for her to come back to me and trust me however In the process I am going to work on bettering myself for her so that if we ever do get back together I won't hurt her again. I already made the decision that I am going to wait for her because I really believe that in spite of all my insecurities and naiveness deep down me and her are meant for each other. So this isn't a thread really to ask for advice if or not to wait, but what do you guys think about my situation. is there anyhope she's coming back???? even if there isn't i think its good to better myself for the long run. well this is my first post hope to here from you guys soon. and don't be afraid to be critical lay it on me if you think i treated her bad because i know i did.

[redhearts]

I personally think its rather STUPID. No offense, but she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to keep dating this guy, then if it turns out not so great, then she'll maybe go back to you. But its utterly dumb if she really had feelings for you she take you back in an instant. Move on, this girl is pathetic.

[ngx335]

thanks for being honest no offense at all. its just she stuck with me all those times i was off "finding myself" and leaving her. I just believe this is the right thing to do. seeing as being a jerk and blaming her doesn't exactly give me what i want which is her back.

 

but thanks for the honest feedback that's what i love about this site. keep it coming guys

[redhearts]

Honestly, she was your high school sweetheart, but you need to get over it. To me it seems she moved on because she found a guy so quickly, for one thing and she hasn't left him. To be fair to him would be not staying with him if she loved you, what is fair to you is her just backing off and telling you to move on.

 

welcome!

[Mayday11]

Yea, I wouldn't wait around for it. There's a good chance you'll just keep waiting and waiting and waiting...

 

If you're waiting around and she knows it, she's just going to take her sweet time figuring things out. After all, no pressure or anything, because you'll be sitting by ready for her decision whenever she decides to make it. On top of that, waiting around just looks pretty weak and pathetic. I know you want to give off the vibe of "I care for you so much, I'm willing to wait on you until you figure things out because my love for you is true", but you'll actually be giving off the vibe of "I'm so insecure and think I'm unable to find another girl that all I can do is sit around waiting for you".

 

No one here can tell you whether she'll be back or not. She may, she may not. But, if she does, it may be tomorrow, three months from now, six months from now, six years from now. You just don't know. And it would be ridiculous to wait around that long.

 

The longer you wait without seeing results, the more frustrated you'll get. The more frustrated you'll get, the more agitated you'll be whenever you speak with her. The more 'panicked' you'll get. This will most likely push her away. Then your waiting will turn from frustration and panic into resentment toward her. I mean, here you are waiting this whole time and she still hasn't come back?! What a terrible person she must be! See what happened? Your waiting around out of love eventually turned into bitterness and resentment.

 

The best thing you can do if you want hope for a future relationship with her is to move on with your life. Seriously. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it's really the best you can do.

[ngx335]

thanks for the help guys ill definitely think about it. but yeah she does not know im waiting for her.

[redhearts]

Regardless she probably knows you well enough. Or is somehow trying to string you along to keep you in her life.