mr_m4x Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hi, I'm totally wrecked right now, I don't know what to do... I'll give you a little background and elaborate on the things that have happened since Friday that are driving me out of my head. I've been with my girlfriend for 26 months right now, we've been really close to each other, we've unconsciouslly isolated ourselves from the outerworld and we've lived "fairly happy" during that stretch. I did realize during our early days that we were cutting off our friends to be with each other, I thought that it was the novelty factor but somehow we got used to doing that and we didn't talk about that before until it finally exploded on Friday and has been tearing me into pieces. Turns out that 2 Saturdays ago we were having dinner and we agreed that we should start going out with our friends, not breaking up, just going out. I was totally cool with that and I knew she was happy with that decision we took. We applied our decision on Tuesday (I went to a friend's house to play some Playstation 3) and Wednesday (she went out for some beers with her office friends). No here's where the messing up begins... On Friday she went out with her office friends again, she called me from her office and told me that they were going out, she'd go back to her house and then call me back so we could go out. I never received her call back, she was over her cell phone minutes limit and she was unable to make calls or send SMS's from her cell. I was really mad because I was waiting for her to show up so we could have dinner again. I left my home at 11:30 pm (I was waiting for her call since 9) and went to my friend's house to do some more PS3 gaming. It was 4:30 am and I decided to go back home, I called her cell and received no answer so I headed to my house madder than ever. And I never received any kind of message or call from her letting me know that she was all right or that she had arrived home. So on early Saturday, I go out to deliver some things around town and I receive her phone call. I answer with an angry voice and I told her that if she was bored or tired of us she could have told me before so I could set my feelings in another way and double check many of the things that I had thought of as safe-shots, I told her that I didn't know if I had a reason to be mad or not, that I'd have to sit down and think about it for a while and then we agreed that we'd talk later. Like 30 minutes after that I receive another call from her, I went to her place and we talked, she said that she wasn't happy with herself and that she needed time to think about what she wants and where she's standing in her life right now. All this while saying that I'm one of the greatest persons that she's had in her life and that she doesn't want to hurt me. I was shocked because I thought that the problem was just us and not her life. So I leave her place, and 30 minutes later I call her and go back to her place and I told her that I was unable to go on without her and that I needed her to make up her mind quickly so we could get back to normal. I left her place, went to mine's and there I received another phone call form her telling me that the night before she had made out with a guy ](*,) (I get nausea just by writing this). I went to her house like a bolt and started asking her if she thought that I was some kind of stupid or anyhting like that, you get the idea of the way the conversation went. So when we finally finished that conversation I told her that I will forgive and try to forget, I went back to playing PS3 just not to have to think about how she had stabbed me in the back. Then I went back to her place, we talked for a while and we kind of made up. And finally yesterday, we spoke on the phone 2 times and I picked her up about 7 pm, and we talked and she told me that she wasn't feeling all right because she had done something wrong and she didn't know why she did it. She said that she is finding herself completely dependant on me and she doesn't want to be that way and I agreed with that, and that she didn't know how she could find herself without pushing me away (she always said that she doesn't want to break up with me and neither do I). We agreed that I'd give her some space and then we'd try to make it work depending less on each other. I walked her home, we hugged a little while and just the tought that it was the last time that I'd be able to have her in my arms as my girlfriend brings me heavily face-first to the ground. We agreed to give us some time, but I don't know how long that time should be, I'm right now in my office, I hit a dead end on a project that I'm developing and all that haunts my mind is our current problem. I can't imagine how bad it'd get as the days go by, it's been less than 24 hours since I last saw her and I'm going crazy. And the thing that scares me the most is that she could realize that she could be happier without me Well, this is my first post so I hope you can give me a little advise, or at least tell me something because I'm going out of my head right now. Link to comment
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