Will he ever take me back?

[charlotte...]

He is contacting me though. He says ive ruined everything he ever had. he text me, and i quote, 'i love you. how could u **** everything up like this?'

[Zeitgeist]

He is contacting me though. He says ive ruined everything he ever had. he text me, and i quote, 'i love you. how could u **** everything up like this?'

Why is this confusing? Of course he loves you. But he can't be with you because of what happened. From now on, whenever he sees you or thinks of you, he will have a mental picture of you and his best friend having sex.

[charlotte...]

i kno that, he said that whenever he closes his eyes hes sees it.

(hes in hospital so he wont actually see me face to face for a while)

[lkonohalanbu]

I agree with most of the posters in this topic, you really need to figure out why you did what you did. I'm not here to scold you, you can only live with your decision, but you need time away from him to sort yourself out, if you had really loved this person as much as you say you do. You will let him go and let him tend to his wounds, he may never forgive you or he might forgive you but never get back with you.

 

It doesn't matter now, it's in the past, you need to really let go and take a look at yourself, it is time to deeply reflect about your actions and what really caused the infidelity. If you truly love this man, let him go, nothing you can say or do will change his mind, both of you are still emotional and need time to pass to be able to speak to each other normally.

 

For now, let him pick up the pieces, do not contact him, do not initiate contact, do not reply to him, he needs to vent emotions to let you know that what you did to him caused this. Please leave him alone and do not speak to him until you do not want him anymore and then make amends for your mistake, or just move on completely.

 

You both love each other, but with the thought cheating on him with his best friend, that's just harsh. You need outside perspective so that this will not happen in the future, you will find your own happiness without him, that's life. Accept what's done is done, you cannot change what you did, you can only hope to not do it again the in the future.

 

I cannot stress this enough, if you love him as much as you say you do, LET GO. Letting go will allow you to free yourself and heal, not only that but it will give him time to gather himself from his own internal struggle. One day, you can possibly be friends, but don't count on it. Please let him know that you are sorry and that you are going to maintain a strict no contact to sort out your feelings and for him to sort his out.

[Kahdeksan]

i kno that, he said that whenever he closes his eyes hes sees it.

(hes in hospital so he wont actually see me face to face for a while)

 

Charlotte, this is VERY important... contact him or see him if you can, handle this in the mature fashion, it is alright to do so because he initiated contact out of hurt. So if you're genuinely sorry you should LET him know this... THAT you are going to stay away from him because you REALLY need to work on yourself. Delicately put it to him that you're sorry and grieving too because of a stupid mistake you made.

 

Tell him that you will not ask for his forgiveness yet because the hurt you've caused is still too raw for him to forgive. And let him know that he has every reason in the world to be angry, and that you WANT him to be angry at you so that maybe in the future he could allow himself to forgive YOU, but only when he's ready. Let him know that you are also angry with yourself and that it will take some time for you to forgive yourself as well.

 

Keep this visit short, let him know that you love him, let him know that you're remorseful, which you are, judging from your post. Keep it short and to the point, then leave...

 

THAT'S all you can do for now... then start to work on yourself. I believe he WILL contact you... to which you'll have to make it clear to him that you have to take the time out to work on yourself, and that he'll need his space as well to filter through his emotions.

 

He needs to want you back and you NEED to acknowledge and address what you did wrong to work on them, for the relationship to have any chance of it working out again. After which comes the hard part, which requires him to trust in you again... this is something that NOT many are able to front.

 

I wish you well...