Your opinions/feedback please!!

[Lauren8785]

I'm 23 years old and live with my parents yet... and this is what happened....

 

I LIED TO MY PARENTS SATURDAY NIGHT CUZ THEY ASKED WHERE I WAS GOING. I TOLD THEM I WAS GOING TO A DANCE CLUB IN ANOTHER CITY. SOME FAMILY ISSUES CAME UP ON SUNDAY AND MY CONSCIENCE FINALLY GOT TO ME SO I TOLD MY MOM THE TRUTH...I GO I DONT WANT YOU TO JUDGE ME OR BE MAD AT ME OR THINK IM SOME PERVERT BUT I DIDNT GO TO THAT DANCE CLUB LAST NIGHT AND SHE SAID OH..THEN WHAT DID YOU DO.. I SAID MY FRIENDS AND I WENT TO A STRIP CLUB...SHE SAID WHAT!...I GO YEAH SHE SAID GROSS WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO AND SEE NAKED MEN WITH THEIR D)s HANGING OUT?? I GO WHY NOT? IT DOESN'T MAKE ME A BAD PERSON OR ANYTHING SHE SAID WELL THATS NOT SOMETHING THAT TURNS ME ON BUT WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT...I GO ARE YOU MAD...SHE SAID NO YOUR AN ADULT YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT THATS JUST SOMETHING THAT DOSENT INTEREST ME ANY..I GO I SHOULD BRING YOU ALONG..LOL..SHES LIKE UM HECK NO I DONT CARE TO SEE THAT ITS SLEEZY TO ME I WAS BROUGHT UP WITH MORALS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH..I JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF WHATEVER...I TOLD HER PLEASE DONT TELL DAD..I THINK HE'D BE PRETTY SHOCKED AND SICKENED BY IT......SHE SAID SHE WOULDNT AND SHE BETTER NOT...BUT SHE SAID HE CANT BE MAD AT ME CUZ I AM AN ADULT AND I FEEL THAT I SHOULD TELL HIM CUZ ITS NOT RIGHT TO HIDE IT FROM HIM..AND IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING THAT YOU TELL HIM..AND I SAID YES THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD TELL HIM BUT PREFER NOT TO, SO PLEASE DONT....HE'S STRANGE ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT.. I JUST HOPE MOM DOESN'T BUT I TOLD HER WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO ANYWAY? SPANK ME? LOL..AND SHE LAUGHED..SO I FELT THAT I SHOULD BE HONEST WITH HER..IM AN ADULT I CAN DO WHAT I PLEASE..WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT.. BUT WHEN MY MA SAID THOSE THINGS IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE IM STRANGE. I SAID MOM HOW COULD THAT NOT TURN YOU ON??? HOW DO U GET TURNED ON BY DAD? SHE SAID HIS LOOKS AND PERSONALITY NOT "DOWN THERE WISE" SHE THINKS THE MALE ANATOMY IS GROSS LOOKING. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF YEAH OK. I TOLD MY MOM I WANT AN OPEN AND HONEST RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU INSTEAD OF HIDING CRAP AND I SAID AREN'T YOU GLAD I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH NOW SHES SAID YEAH..SO SHE WASNT MAD JUST THINKS STRIP CLUBS ARE GROSS..I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE THINKS THAT BUT WHATEVER. WE'RE JUST DIFF I GUESS??? NOW CAN SOMEONE SHED SOME LIGHT AS TO WHY A PERSON WOULD THINK THAT IS GROSS?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. ISN'T IT NORMAL TO BE TURNED ON SEXUALLY BY A NAKED MALE???

 

BUT MY PURPOSE FOR POSTING THIS IS. WHEN SHE MADE THOSE COMMENTS IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME OR SHE THOUGHT OF ME AS A PERVERT OR SOMETHING. ISN'T THAT WRONG? BECAUSE IN A WAY IT IS JUDGING ME, RIGHT? I KNOW SOME OF MY FRIEND'S PARENTS ARE MORE OPEN ABOUT IT AND MY FRIENDS FEEL COMFORTABLE TELLING THEIR PARENTS ABOUT THAT TYPE OF STUFF. I WISH MINE WHERE LIKE THAT BECAUSE I DO WANT AN OPEN AND HONEST RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I DON'T CARE IF THEY LIKE IT OR NOT BUT THEY SHOULDN'T PASS JUDGEMENTS ON IT. THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES. THEY WERE RAISED CATHOLIC SO WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT IS WHEN IT COMES TO S E X STUFF. DID ANY OF YOU FEEL THIS WAY WHEN IT CAME TO YOUR PARENTS AT ALL????? I DONT THINK THAT WAS RIGHT OF MY MOM TO BE LIKE THAT DO YOU???? I MEAN SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO HER OPINION BUT DONT JUDGE/ DEGRADE ME. YOU KNOW

[d24]

you didnt need to tell them because you're old enough to do what you like and it's something they really didn't need to or want to know, sounds to me like you wanted a reaction(?)

If you like to go and see things like that, that's completely your choice. You're old enough to make your own decisions to be honest! But come on, think about it... it's not really something to be shouting about. Not that you should be shamed (or proud) of it, but you know - some people really dont wanna know. i think your parents are in that boat, and i'd be VERY surprised if you didn't know that's the way they'd react to it. You should know them by now!

Like I said, sounds like you've created this situation because you wanted some sort of a reaction from them, and that's the question you need to ask yourself... why did you feel the need to tell them? Was it boredom? Shame? Rebeliousness? etc?

 

Also I had extreme difficulty reading the majority of this because of the capslock and the he said she said dialogue, I hope someone can sort it out in paragraphs pls?

[fireflies]

I understand your desire to have an honest, open relationship with your parents. But if you're expecting them to 'not judge' what you do, you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt. They're your parents and they'll always have an opinion about you and what you do. (That's the price of being loved.)

 

You don't need to lie, but why tell them what they don't need to know? I would have just said I was going out with some friends for a "Girls' night out". It's the truth, but it also is a truth that honors your right to privacy.

[agent1607307371]

I agree with the previous two posters. I don't think it's wrong to want an open and honest relationship with your parents, but ultimately you have to take into account the type of people your parents are. You can't force something that isn't in their nature.

 

You know what your parents are like. You know what reaction you're going to get to telling them this. So why tell them and then complain when they react like you know they will instead of how you want.

 

Beating your head against reality will just give you a headache.

 

My parents are Catholic. And from the 50's. I have to accept that there are somethings that we will never speak about and do my best to have as good a relationship with them as our personalities allow. Doesn't mean I can't wish it was different, but it isn't and I just have to accept that.

[Lauren8785]

I told my Mom because she may have found out anyway. My cousins are a few years younger then me and my Grams told me that their mother still checks out what they all do on the computer so if she saw the pictures of me and my friends at the strip club( on myspace) I am sure she would have said something to me or my parents....so I figured I'd better be honest with them now before someone else tells them something like that. Plus I don't feel its right to hide things from them either. True, they don't need to know everything, but I believe in being honest, not sneaking around and lieing.

[Lauren8785]

I'm more concerned in THIS area: BUT MY PURPOSE FOR POSTING THIS IS. WHEN SHE MADE THOSE COMMENTS IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME OR SHE THOUGHT OF ME AS A PERVERT OR SOMETHING. ISN'T THAT WRONG? BECAUSE IN A WAY IT IS JUDGING ME, RIGHT? I KNOW SOME OF MY FRIEND'S PARENTS ARE MORE OPEN ABOUT IT AND MY FRIENDS FEEL COMFORTABLE TELLING THEIR PARENTS ABOUT THAT TYPE OF STUFF. I WISH MINE WHERE LIKE THAT BECAUSE I DO WANT AN OPEN AND HONEST RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I DON'T CARE IF THEY LIKE IT OR NOT BUT THEY SHOULDN'T PASS JUDGEMENTS ON IT. THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES. THEY WERE RAISED CATHOLIC SO WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT IS WHEN IT COMES TO S E X STUFF. DID ANY OF YOU FEEL THIS WAY WHEN IT CAME TO YOUR PARENTS AT ALL????? I DONT THINK THAT WAS RIGHT OF MY MOM TO BE LIKE THAT DO YOU???? I MEAN SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO HER OPINION BUT DONT JUDGE/ DEGRADE ME. YOU KNOW??