barbielovesmac Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I haven't been on ENA for awhile...I need to vent. I am losin it. EX boyfriend has stepped back into the picture and he is messing with my head. He's hot one minute and cold another. I know that it is my fault for letting him back in and that is why I am here...I lapsed...I got on the wrong path...I need to find my way back on the right road. It's nothing serious...he's just been texting and calling and I've been responsive. I think I am still holding onto "hope" that we will get back together and "hope" that he will be different. All he wants to do is have sex with me and he has made that clear. HE told me that he is too busy to be with me but that he'll have sex with me because I was the best he's ever had. Those are his words. I am about to meet this guy that I have been talking to online for over 4 months on Friday. This is the guy who has a baby daughter from a one night stand. I am losin it ... I am so stressed out. I feel so lost. I've got this really great guy...doing everything...and still all I want is my douche bag EX who never did anything... Can anyone talk to me? Maybe punch me?? I wish I could rip out a page of my memory. I have continued to give him all of my energy and for what? It's hard to believe I'm still lonely. Link to comment
hers Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 How will he even get to have sex with you? I thought you moved really far away from him? HE SPIT IN YOUR FACE Link to comment
i_win Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Some people just can't be helped Have you considered going to a therapist or counseling to help you get out of this horrible situation that you seem unable to escape from yourself? I think there are some serious self esteem issues that need to be addressed professionally. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 How will he even get to have sex with you? I thought you moved really far away from him? HE SPIT IN YOUR FACE He won't have sex with me ... That's just all he talks about. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 DO NOT RESPOND. He is JERK. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Barbie nice to see you back...i am sad to hear your situation. I wish I had a magic answer but at this point we have all said everything we possibly can about your situation, ultimately you HAVE to find the answer to this problem within yourself. I agree with I_win, perhaps you should seek out counseling to help you figure out what it is you really want. Only you can answer this question because you need to decide what is most important to you. Please know that I think you are a beautiful, courageous, intelligent woman who deserves someone who will treat you with respect, who cherishes you as a WHOLE person and who will love you for all that you are Blessings always Link to comment
hers Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 He won't have sex with me ... That's just all he talks about. But didn't you move? How would he think it's possible? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 You don't need punching... Your ex is slapping you in the face enough. It's so ok to be lonely. Even if everything is picture perfect and you have some great guy in your life. Let yourself feel whatever it is you feel. I think you torture yourself, girl. You do need to get to the root of why you don't figure you are good enough to be you and get treated right. Link to comment
Sweet Venus Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 BLM..just because he wants to be with you does not obligate you. I read a book recently "How to break your addiction to a person" In it is a chapter of Addiction Breaking Aphorisms... 1)You CAN live without him/her (Probably better) 2)Love is NOT enough, to make a good relationship 3) Limerance is not enough 4)A love relationship is mutual and helps each partner feel BETTER about him/herself not worse. 5) Guilt is NOT reason enough to stay 6) Just because you're jealous, doesn;t mean you love him/her. You can be jealous of someone you can;t stand. 7) You don;t have to love someone to be addicted to them. 8) What you see is what you get. So stop hanging onto the belief you can change the other person. 9) Love doesn;t always last forever 10) You can't always work it out. No matter HOW much you may want to. 11) Some people die of bad relationships. Do you want to be one of them? 12) If someone says.. "I don't want to be tied down" "I don;t want a relationship"..etc.. BELIEVE him. 13) He/she doesn't HAVE to love you 14) Half a loaf ISN'T better than none. 15) It doesn't HAVE to get better 16) The pain of ending it won't last forever. In fact it won;t last NEARLY as long as the pain of not ending it. 17) If it will be the same in one, five or ten years from now, do you want it? 18) The intensity of your withdrawal symptoms is not indicate the strength of your love, but the strength of your addiction to the person. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Well, I understand feeling 'hope' for a reconciliation as that is completely normal after a breakup....but it's time to let go of the 'hope' that he will be different. The fact that he is basically saying that you are not worth more than just a sexual activity for him is proof enough that he doesn't genuinely care about you and your feelings. You have become something to help feed his ego...nothing more. The things he is saying to you now is equivalent to being spit on....and since he's arleady accomplished that as well, I see no real reason to even respond to his absolute nonsense!! Don't reply to him...the sooner you let go of this toxic man, the better for you!! He is wasting your youth, girl!!! Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 You are all so very right. I can feel a change in me. I'm no where near where I was 7 months ago... I'm not afraid to walk alone. I just have my moments...and my moments are when he says the RIGHT things. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 You are all so very right. I can feel a change in me. I'm no where near where I was 7 months ago... I'm not afraid to walk alone. I just have my moments...and my moments are when he says the RIGHT things. Don't give him the chance to say the right things, then. That's what not answering the phone is all about. You could also change your phone number at this point, if you feel too weak to ignore the calls/texts. It would be a pain to tell all your friends/family, but at least then you could have the pleasure of him dialing your number and learning that he no longer has access to you. I think it's relevant also that you mention you are lonely. Are you meeting new people in real life and not focusing solely on the guy from the internet? While he may be a great guy, you haven't even met him in person yet, so I hope that you've been getting out and seeing your new city, meeting girlfriends and guy friends, and finding more out about who you are. And, he spit in your face, as one poster pointed out. If you need to write that a hundred times on a piece of paper, do it. If you need to put it on index cards around your apartment, go for it. He spit in your face. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 he spit in my face!!!!! Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hey Barbie, Vent away. You are so much different/Better than you were months ago. I know we all can see that. If you learn who YOU are and that you don't need some guy to complete you then you will be that much better off if a relationship goes bad. You simply won't be afraid of being alone. Go back and read some of your old posts, I think you will see just how far you have come..... lost Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Barbie, at least he is consistent. He is who he is, and shows his true colors (as in he only wants to have sex with you). You are still hoping for love and hearts and flowers etc. So the problem here is you and not him, in that you just deep down refuse to accept him for who he really is. You want a romantic fantasy, and are refusing to let that fantasy go, even though he proves again and again he isn't what you need. So this is a self inflicted wound here. He will keep after you for sex in the same way he keeps calling the Pizza Hut whenever he wants a pizza. doesn't mean anything more than that to him, while you keep letting him do this to you, and hoping it will turn into something better than it is. It is long past time to change your phone number and cut contact with him. You know what you need to do, just do it. If you can't do it, it's time to call the counselor and start talking about why you continue injuring yourself by keeping in contact with him. Link to comment
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