Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I met this absolutely gorgeous guy this weekend. He's probably out of my league, but the situation got me thinking: I'm a 26 year old woman: is a nineteen year old too young to date? I found this person to be just as mature as I am, he goes to an Ivy League school, and so he's intellectually my equal, probably more. He's definetly more mature than I was at nineteen, anyways. But when I told my friends about it, they said nineteen was disgusting. What do you think? Link to comment
melrich Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 they said nineteen was disgusting. That is a very strong sentiment!! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If you guys get along well there should be no problems due solely to the age difference. Link to comment
lapseinjudgement Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 yea really as long as its legal and hes not like half your age or something then why not? Link to comment
i_win Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I definitely don't see anything disgusting about it at all. However, I think a 19 year old has a lot of room for growth and this could lead to some long term incompatibility. Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Whatever suits you, but you do realize you guys probably won't be on the same page for years to come (kids, marriage, etc) Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 It's unusual, and my own "ceiling" would prolly be 24, but if he's mature for his age and you're both cool with it, I don't see why there should be an issue. As fo our friends, tell them it's none of theirs if you want to date someone a little younger, and if he's as gorgeous as you say, chances are they'll end up envious instead lol Go for it, Mel. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 As an (almost) 21 year old woman at an Ivy League Uni (senior), I have to say I have trouble imagining myself dating a 26 year old professional man. I'm sure he'd be smart, attractive and experienced, but we would be in such different life stages! I mean, I am just now applying for my first post-grad jobs, going through professional interviews for the first time. I would have trouble understanding why he would want to date me, to be honest. If one of my sophomore friends (usually 19) started dating a 26 year old woman, I would find it unsavory. Just my opinion. That being said, I don't think should stop you from dating him if you think you two are compatible. I guess I have trouble thinking that a 19 year old college teen would have that much in common with you, or be as mature as you. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yes, he's really attractive. I think he could be on a soap opera. Link to comment
DN Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Go for it. It's not like you have to marry him any time soon. Just see have some fun and see where it leads. Link to comment
i_win Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I just also wanted to add that as someone who is college/career focused I really don't see myself having children until i'm in my early 30's. There just isn't the time or finances to think about it before then for me and I don't want anything holding me back. So this as someone mentioned could be a problem. Best case scenario is that he wants to start having children a couple years after he's at a job and this puts you in your early to mid 30s. I know this is thinking waaaaay too ahead but this is just one example of some potential problem. But it sounds like your mind is made up and sometimes you gotta go for it if you're feeling it. I think I would in your situation. Take things as they come. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 As an (almost) 21 year old woman at an Ivy League Uni (senior), I have to say I have trouble imagining myself dating a 26 year old professional man. I'm sure he'd be smart, attractive and experienced, but we would be in such different life stages! I mean, I am just now applying for my first post-grad jobs, going through professional interviews for the first time. I would have trouble understanding why he would want to date me, to be honest. If one of my sophomore friends (usually 19) started dating a 26 year old woman, I would find it unsavory. Just my opinion. That being said, I don't think should stop you from dating him if you think you two are compatible. I guess I have trouble thinking that a 19 year old college teen would have that much in common with you, or be as mature as you. I wasn't really thinking that seriously about it. Dating isn't marriage. I was just attracted to him. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 I just also wanted to add that as someone who is college/career focused I really don't see myself having children until i'm in my early 30's. There just isn't the time or finances to think about it before then for me and I don't want anything holding me back. So this as someone mentioned could be a problem. Best case scenario is that he wants to start having children a couple years after he's at a job and this puts you in your early to mid 30s. I know this is thinking waaaaay too ahead but this is just one example of some potential problem. But it sounds like your mind is made up and sometimes you gotta go for it if you're feeling it. I think I would in your situation. Take things as they come. No way is my mind made up! I definetly want marriage one day, I wasn't really thinking about all the stuff you guys are bringing up. I wasn't really thinking about marriage or even anything close- just attraction/dating. And he probably isn't even interested. He's probably out of my league. Link to comment
madmarten Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Be safe, all I got to say Link to comment
KG Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I'm thinking intellectual equal. If ya got that, ya got it all! Go for it. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Be safe, all I got to say What do you mean by be safe? Look, you guys are probably right. I'll just flirt. Maybe I should avoid him. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 how many 19 year old guys can say that they are dating an older woman Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 What do you mean by be safe? Sex, I would imagine, you don't want to get pregnant to this guy by accident lol. I'd say go for it, what've you got to lose? Could be an experience. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 No, I'm not that kind of woman where sex is even part of the equation before deeper commitment. Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 No, I'm not that kind of woman where sex is even part of the equation before deeper commitment. I didn't mean to imply you were, but I think that's what was meant. Seriously though, if you could give it a shot with this guy, 19yo is a small price to pay for dashing good looks and a bright mind if he's mature enough for you. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 I didn't mean to imply you were, but I think that's what was meant. Seriously though, if you could give it a shot with this guy, 19yo is a small price to pay for dashing good looks and a bright mind if he's mature enough for you. If he was into me, I definetly would. But honestly, now that I look at it more objectively, even if he was interested: it'd probably just for a "Yeah I had sex with an older woman" type of thing, I'd bet. I just thought he was cute, thats it. Link to comment
Night Pumpkin Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Maybe have your friends meet him in person. Thier impressions are only being formed based on what you told them, and thier own bias. When they meet him in person, maybe they will be impressed and change thier minds. I met this absolutely gorgeous guy this weekend. He's probably out of my league, but the situation got me thinking: I'm a 26 year old woman: is a nineteen year old too young to date? I found this person to be just as mature as I am, he goes to an Ivy League school, and so he's intellectually my equal, probably more. He's definetly more mature than I was at nineteen, anyways. But when I told my friends about it, they said nineteen was disgusting. What do you think? Link to comment
thebuckets Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I met this absolutely gorgeous guy this weekend. He's probably out of my league, but the situation got me thinking: I'm a 26 year old woman: is a nineteen year old too young to date? I found this person to be just as mature as I am, he goes to an Ivy League school, and so he's intellectually my equal, probably more. He's definetly more mature than I was at nineteen, anyways. But when I told my friends about it, they said nineteen was disgusting. What do you think? I was in that situation once, same age difference, you will regret it!!! Have a fun casual sex relationship if you want, but my advice is to not get involved romantically. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 I was in that situation once, same age difference, you will regret it!!! Have a fun casual sex relationship if you want, but my advice is to not get involved romantically. When you post on a thread, its recommended that you read the previous posts to understand the OP and the OP's situation. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I say don't do it, but only because when I was 19, I would've killed to have a 26yo female attracted to me. It never happened, in fact, I didn't get much of anything when I was 19, so I am jealous of this guy and don't want to see him get what I wanted so badly at that age but couldnt get. Link to comment
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