CoCo2009 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 We haven't seen eachother in 2 weeks and we haven't talked in a week and I miss him. I'm nervous because I don't think he will ever call me and I don't know what to do. Should I call? Link to comment
lkonohalanbu Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 You two are broken up for a reason, if he misses you he will call. Move on with your life, I'm going through my first breakup and what stops me from calling is her ending it. Her not caring, her moving on with her life, her being cold. Taking a page out of her book and just moving on, I don't want to be stuck here in a few months, pining and wanting somebody who threw the relationship away. I'm still in denial and shock that she would do such a thing, but you must face reality and accept it is over, work on improving yourself, you will thank yourself for facing reality now and not dwell on this for an extended period of time. I do have my days, heck I miss her everyday, think about her everyday, but the pain in my heart is fading and as it fades, the person who left me is not the person I fell in love with. Stick with NC, best way to heal your broken heart and reclaim your identity. It will take time, but remember that you two are no longer together, you two are both entitled to your own lives and pursuit of happiness, move on and live each day with a positive out look, if he misses you, he will call or get in contact. But for now, since you are missing him and the wounds are still fresh, it will do you no good to hear him and get hurt again and trust me when I say it's like going through the breakup all over again! Be strong! I put all my eggs in one basket, my only friend out here doesn't speak to me and speaks to her. It hurts knowing that I am alone, but if I make it through this, I know I can rely on myself and know those around me who I can truly trust! Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I'm nervous because I don't think he will ever call me ... If he doesn't call you, then he's proving what he thinks of you ......and is he worth your thoughts and precious time, in that case? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 If he doesn't call you, then he's proving what he thinks of you ......and is he worth your thoughts and precious time, in that case? you see thats what I thought but Im not calling him either so he could be thinking the same thing about me, but I do miss him and love him. You see what I'm saying? Link to comment
DN Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Call him. Right now. Go on. You know why you should. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I think you should call him luv. Get some closure and answers for yourself. Stop torturing yourself this way. Pick up the phone and call. ~Allie Link to comment
DN Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 -blink- Why should she? -is curious- LOL. I am reinforcing a previous message, she knows why I am saying to call him. And Allie is right as well. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 you see thats what I thought but Im not calling him either so he could be thinking the same thing about me, but I do miss him and love him. You see what I'm saying? I know what you mean yes. Guess I am just a believer, in that if a man wants you, he will come to you and regardless ...but saying that, I guess it depends upon the reasons that led to the split and who may be in the wrong.. If I felt I was in the wrong, then I would phone, if not....then i would not call him if he wasn't calling me. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I know what you mean yes. Guess I am just a believer, in that if a man wants you, he will come to you and regardless ...but saying that, I guess it depends upon the reasons that led to the split and who may be in the wrong.. If I felt I was in the wrong, then I would phone, if not....then i would not call him if he wasn't calling me. At this point, I would call simply for closure. It seems she is so upset that she needs it. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 At this point, I would call simply for closure. It seems she is so upset that she needs it. I know what you mean, but the fact a guy hadn't called me, would give me all the closure I needed... I don't know the story behind why contact has stopped though ,,,so I maybe shouldnt be commenting. Link to comment
bringdafunk Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I know what you mean, but the fact a guy hadn't called me, would give me all the closure I needed... I don't know the story behind why contact has stopped though ,,,so I maybe shouldnt be commenting. So what's to prevent a guy from thinking the exact same thing? There's no gender roles/rules to this. If you want to call him, call him. You can always wonder or you can get the closure you need, the answer you want or the answer you dread. (Sometimes they're the same) It's not a guys role to call the shots when it comes to this stuff. Step up and do what you feel is right. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Im freaking fighting with myself right now. I can't bring myself to call because I don't want to hear him reject me. I don't want to lose it. I do want to call because I miss him but I don't know if I should We aren't talking because last week he told me to call him back when I didn't want to talk about problems. So I didn't call him back because I felt like since we got back together last month he has been wishy washy with me. I don't know. Link to comment
Sweet Venus Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Why don't you text him .."I miss you"...and leave the ball in his court. This lets him know you're open to a response, but that you are not asking for one. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 We aren't talking because last week he told me to call him back when I didn't want to talk about problems. Well, why don't you call back and not talk about your problems and see how receptive he is? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 So what's to prevent a guy from thinking the exact same thing? There's no gender roles/rules to this. If you want to call him, call him. You can always wonder or you can get the closure you need, the answer you want or the answer you dread. (Sometimes they're the same) It's not a guys role to call the shots when it comes to this stuff. Step up and do what you feel is right. As I said, if I was in the wrong I would call... If I wasn't in the wrong, then I wouldn't call... I'm not about to call a guy, who dumped me If I dumped him and then had regrets, yes I'd call.. It depends upon circumstances, as to whether I'd call or not. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 well neither of us dumped eachother I have been fed up with how wishy washy he has been and stopped calling. I guess he decided he didn't care. I guess I'm going to have to create my own closure and move on. I can't seem to bring myself to call. I just can't do it...I tried. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Im freaking fighting with myself right now. I can't bring myself to call because I don't want to hear him reject me. I don't want to lose it. I do want to call because I miss him but I don't know if I should We aren't talking because last week he told me to call him back when I didn't want to talk about problems. So I didn't call him back because I felt like since we got back together last month he has been wishy washy with me. I don't know. Hmmm ok, so I suspect you have abstained from calling him, because you have been waiting of him caving and calling you....and he hasn't, so you are worried. If he'd called, this would have then reassured you that the guy does care a lot for you....and despite his 'wishy washy' behaviour of late... I'm unsure what I'd do, because I would be thinking that if he cared, he'd call me....lol. But then he told you call and you didn't... So it looks like you are at fault... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 you could call and NOT talk about your problems like he asked..... Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yeah but I am always putting my feeling aside. I'm tired of this one sided relationship of problems and more problems. I guess its my fault its over and I will have to deal with the consequences of my actions,, Link to comment
atelis Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 you need to work out what it is you are trying to achieve by calling him. i learned from experience last week that it can set you back in your healing greatly if you don't hear what you want to hear. if he doesn't respond positively, are you prepared then to put closure to it once and for all? if not, then don't make the call because it will crush you. i know you miss him and you want to hear his voice, but you also want to hear that he wants you and if you don't hear that, it will open the wounds right up. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 yeah I don't want to call and be rejected. Sometimes I feel like he isn't right for me because he is really irresponsible and he has hurt me with how irresponsible he is and after 5 years he doesn't seem to want to be more than girlfriend and boyfriend. He is 29 and doesn't have his life together and he isn't doing anything to fix it. He is just living day by day and not taking steps for the future. I don't want to be a girlfriend anymore I want to be in a relationship where I am involved in his life and not like a highschool love. Its like he doesn;t even want to say I am the girl he wants to marry. i feel like I need more. Link to comment
createhappiness Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 yeah I don't want to call and be rejected. Sometimes I feel like he isn't right for me because he is really irresponsible and he has hurt me with how irresponsible he is and after 5 years he doesn't seem to want to be more than girlfriend and boyfriend. He is 29 and doesn't have his life together and he isn't doing anything to fix it. He is just living day by day and not taking steps for the future. I don't want to be a girlfriend anymore I want to be in a relationship where I am involved in his life and not like a highschool love. Its like he doesn;t even want to say I am the girl he wants to marry. i feel like I need more. yes, it's so hard to let go isn't it? even when all the signs are right there in front of you. you know you deserve better, but he's just not giving it. i suggest when you do talk to him, i mean, THE talk - about your problems, the relationship, etc. try just letting him do most of the talking as it seems you've said all you can say already. in a way, it may be doing the opposite of what you normally do? it's worth a shot... it seems your guy is an emotional deadbeat, so it might be hard for him to communicate how he's feeling, but give him a chance try your hardest to just listen without blowing up. see what insight you can get out of it... Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 I think I forced him into getting back with me. When we got back together he said it like this "OH YES FINE WE CAN BE BACK TOGETHER IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT SO BAD" He said it nicely but he also said that he didn't want to be in a relationship but didn't want to lose me and not be able to make love to me. I asked him he only wanted me for sex and he said no..I guess maybe he kinda did want me for sex..and gave me the relationship even though he really didn't want one. Maybe thats why he is so wishy washy and would rather be with his friends lately. Link to comment
gregohreee Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Uhm, if you're officially "girlfriend/boyfriend" then aren't you "in a relationship?" I mean it's not like you're just casually dating one another, or "friends with benefits". Or are you? The only other "relationship" after girlfriend/boyfriend is engagement and marriage. I think open communication is very important, but ofcourse both of you have to be willing to openly communicate. Link to comment
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