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Over a year ago, shortly after graduating high school, I had my first relationship. Unfortunately, I found out after I was dumped (we only dated for about three weeks) that I was merely being used so she could anger her ex-boyfriend and make a guy in the marines find her more interesting. Now, that's not fun for me. I go through all of high school living with girls not finding me interesting, and after I lose a ton of weight (I had been "the fat kid" up until senior year) I thought girls might finally find me attractive. So knowing that this girl never actually liked me hurt...a lot.


I get through my first semester of college, and I don't really find any other girls interesting. In my second semester, I meet this girl in a New Testament class, and she's just about everything I could hope for, and despite how nervous I must have seemed while talking to her, it seemed like she was interested. Around March I finally got the courage to ask her out...the first few options I had didn't work out due to schedule conflicts, but then I asked her to a baseball game (she's a huge Phillies fan) and she said yes. Things seemed to be going well, but then we get back from spring break and she tells me that she's starting a relationship with someone and we probably shouldn't go to that baseball game after all. Shortly after, I found out that she'd have to transfer back to her old college for another year before coming back to the school we go to now in order to get her nursing degree faster.


I'm really hoping that the reason I got shot down was that she found out that she'd have to transfer, and maybe she didn't want to start a long distance thing. But the more likely scenario is that she really was telling the truth. Now on top of that, I still don't find any other girls attractive, but I'm reminded of how painfully alone I am just by walking around. My roommate and his girlfriend are very in love and every time they kiss is a shot through my heart. Everywhere I go I see happy couples, hardly another single person in sight. Every time I think I might find another girl attractive, she too is already taken. At least until I find a single girl that I know I like that might be willing to go out with me, how can I be okay with being single? If I tell my roommate that these things bother me, that would impede his own happiness in preventing him from being as close to his girlfriend as he wants, and he and I get along well so I don't want to do that to him.

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To some extent I agree with BlueAterglow - you just have to find things that give you some satisfaction. That said, your unhappiness with your single state is hard-wired into you by nature - our unhappiness alone drives us to seek out mates, which then serves to perpetuate the species. So, look at your unhappiness as something that is primal in you, and will likely only be appeased by you finding your mate.


But... To find your mate, you need to at least project an air of happiness. It's really when you hit your stride and you're satisfied with yourself, that people come out of the woodwork to be with you. So, you just need to get happy with whatever in life pleasures you, and keep looking. You'll get 90% there by yourself. The other 10% of your happiness will come from the other person that you attract with your 90%. Hope that makes sense.


Keep your chin up.

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