Out of my league?

[psychoanalytical]

Hi ENA,

 

Do u ever ask a girl out to coffee, and then start talking urself out of it?

 

- This was a really bad idea.

- Oh my god, what the h*** am I doing?

- I'm so boring and sheltered, and all I do is study. There's no way she'd find me remotely interesting.

- What are we going to talk about? I don't even really know her.

- All we have in common is school, and I doubt she wants to talk about school at coffee.

- She's so serious. It's going to be awkward.

- She's WAAAAY out of my league.

- I'm going to totally screw this up and look like a complete idiot.

- Oh my god, I don't even know her.

- Why the h*** did she agree? She must have felt pity.

 

Well, it's happening to me. I'm struggling to squeeze out a smile at the moment when I see her let alone going up to her to small talk. Like, all I see is the mountain of guys who must have not measured up to her standards in the past (which must be why she's available for coffee), and how bummed out I'll be when the inevitable rejection takes place. I'm not a shy person per se, but I would not be the first to feel this way with her - I know for a fact.

 

I don't really want to be there when it happens cos it's going to be ugly

[Joop86au]

Lol your stressing WAY to much about this, but I can understand where your coming from

But relax a bit, youve passed the first test, she wouldnt have agreed to the date if she wasnt interested, or at least a bit attracted to you, so dont freak out about not measuring up.

And for conversation, you will be fine, just pay attention to what shes saying, be interested and ask questions that wont result in just a 'yes/no' answer, typically the girl will be happy to chat away

[Daligal83]

I agree with Joop. She has to have some interest, or else she would have said no. So great job! Now once you're on the date, remember that you're only responsible for 50% of the conversation. She has to do her part too. If you get stuck, just ask her questions about herself or make a comment about something in class.

 

And if it doesn't go well, then it's not a reflection you or anything. It just means you aren't compatible. Just try to look at this as getting to know her. No pressure.

[annie24]

hey - yes, like the others said - she said yes to you, so she clearly has some interest in you and getting to know you. you need to be saying more positive things to yourself. like, 'i am a great guy - any girl would be luck to have a bf like me.'

[Pegasus]

I did that before - a lot. I guess I wasn't very sure in my own worth. See...today I have a first date (in 3,5 hours) with really gorgeous girl and I don't fret about it at all.....what will be, will be. I will just be my best self