Can i have some opinions on this!

[crazyworld]

Hey ive been hanging out with my exgirlfriend now for like 2 months we were together for 2 years and then we broke up and then she went with this ohter guy and they got engaged and things between them feel apart and he became a ******** so they broke up. We started hanging back out together all the time were together like almost everyday. Well she started to go out with this one guy she met at work when she was still with her ex and after they broke up she started to like this guy and started to go out with him she says she likes him alot. I told her i still had feelings for her but she does not for me she said and that we are best friends now well for some crazy reason i hang out with her and i even hang out with her and her boyfriend when there together thats really weird but i deal with the weirdness cause i really care about her so much still in so many differnt ways. Well she wanted me to come with them to his house but i told her i didnt want to and she got all weird this is the first time i told her i didnt want to go anywhere with her i usally always go. She started to say how i dont love her anymore and i really disappointed her and that no loves her and of course her new guy gets next to her and says he does and she smiles and stuff. But she got kindda of mad about it even though she was kindda sarcastic about it but still i dont understand why she says i dont love her anymore and weird things like that and how what kind of realtionship is this (what realationship were just friends and shes the one who doesnt want me back) i asked her when she was gonna be around again and she said im not coming back till next year kindda sarcastic and just said all these werid things to me and acted like i was being really mean and that i dindt care about her just because i wouldnt go with her one time. Does anybody know why a girl would act like this? When she does all this stuff and says all this stuff to me is she trying to make her BF jelous so hell try harder for her or something? thats what one of my friends said. Why does she seem to get upset when i dont want to hang out with her and her boyfriend all the time? i dont mind hanging out with her but i dont really wanna hang out with her and her boyfriend all the time when there together you know. Just theres so many strange things going on with this whole situation its really messed up. Why would she act this way when she doesnt want to be with me anymore and shes with him anyway? Can a girl really be that upset when your just friends and you take one day away? Im just really confused about the way she acts and things she says sometimes. If any one has any opinions on this kind of thing or has seen a girl act this way before please tell me some reasons or some of the possibilites she would be acting like this.

Thanks this might be to long and might not make much sense but any opions are appreciated.

[bdub]

It sounds to me like she is using you for the emotional connection you share. Its really not fair the way she is treating you. Like you owe it to her to give her attention all the time, but she is under no obligation to give you the same courtesy. I think you are very strong for being able to maintain a post relationship friendship, but it may be time for you to start thinking about YOU.

 

Right now, in her eyes, there is no fear of losing you. Or at least there wasn't until you started standing up for yourself. She had exactly what she wanted, a boyfriend (who wasn't you) and a friend who she could use for emotional support, but not have to return the favor.

 

Right now, she is running and you are chasing and she is enjoying all the attention from her boyfriend, and you (probably enjoying the attention from you more so than from the BF, but thats another issue completely). Now that you seem to have stopped chasing, she isn't so happy anymore. When you start pulling back, she will start chasing (which is why she was upset at you).

 

I hope this all makes sense.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[fairywyngs]

Hi There

 

It seems to me your friend wants the very best of both worlds, and while that's not always a bad thing, it's not good when your feelings are being played with in the process.

 

I think you've done a very healthy thing by not spending time with her and her bf (even if it's the first time you've said "no" to her, it's a great start!)

 

As a girl I can understand why she would want you to go places with them.

On the one hand she knows that you adore her and so she is garanteed an audience and to have her emotional needs met when you are there. On the other hand, she has probably told her bf you have feelings for her and as such she knows he will be on his best behaviour and show her a lot of attention when you're around (like he's marking his territory) which girl wouldn't want to have the attention of 2 guys. Especially when she is only committed to and is romantically linked to one of them. The other one (you) is just an ego trip for her.

 

My advise: DOn't let her continue to walk all over you. Don't let her continue to emotionally blackmail you or play with your emotions.

 

You know, when you tell someone you love them, it's a gift that you are giving them. It's one thing for them to be unable to return your love, it's another for them to abuse your feelings for her.

 

She has already made her decision in wanting to be with the other guy and not you, and you just have to accept that and move on. The problem with you spending so much time with her/them is that it doesn't give you the opportunity to move on and meet other people.

 

Tell her that while you may still have feelings for her, you do not enjoy being the third wheel in their relationship. Furthermore it brings you no joy whatsoever to be around her when she is obviously with someone else. So while you guys can still be friends, you don't want to hang out with them so often anymore and as your FRIEND she will have to respect that. If she isn't so self centred that she doesn't care for anyone's feelings but her own, she will appreciate your honesty and realise it must be REALL Y REALLY hard for you to be around her and her guy.

 

IF she just doesn't get it, then you don't need that kind of selfish person in your life.

 

Good luck with it all.