Break up sex

[ghettogirl]

I broke up with this guy I was going out with for 2 months and a little bit a few nights ago. He said he was sad and thought he noticed a chilling period around a week or two ago. I noticed it too and it was triggered because I went to a club with a couple of girlfriends and he felt some ways about it.

 

We had seen each other on Friday night and had sex.

 

But I didn't like the cooling down of the relationship. Something just didn't feel right and I felt he was mad at me for going to the club. But just the fact that we couldn't talk about it and we couldn't fight meant that we weren't achieving that comfort level with each other. He kept saying everything was ok but I know it wasn't ok with him.

 

Anyways, to make a long story short, I went to his house on Sunday and broke up with him. He turned it around and made it sound like he was breaking up with me but then said that he still wanted me in his life. He said that he wanted to get to know me better. One thing led to another and we both got really turned on.

 

I tried to initiate break up sex with him (because it's the ultimate best sex) and he refused. That was a first for me.

 

What does it mean when the guy refuses break up sex even though you can tell physically that he wants it?

[Michael2]

I was never a fan of breakup sex. Mainly because it just stirs about all the emotions.

 

I think this guy was thinking with his heart and not his little friend. Dont take it personally, I dont think he was doing it to upset, but I believe he was doing it to protect himself.

 

Think about it this way, you have sex, and then what. The relationship is over and the last image he has in his head is of you two making love. A tough thing to deal with.

[xxsupaxeroxx]

Hey, there is nothing wrong with your boyfriend. Some men dont see their partners in the same way after a break up. They won't have "relations" with a girl they cant be with as in a relationship. And the previous post is correct, i can't remember when i've heard of break up sex not cause more grief for either one or sumtimes both ppl in the relationship. I think the question should be should i be having break up sex, instead of the question why wont he have break up sex.

[ghettogirl]

I guess I was being a bit insensitive.

 

IMHO, break-up sex is sex that makes you feel like you're kissing the face of god. I've tried to rationalize why -- I think it's because it's the most honest and open moment in a relationship -- because you know there's nothing left to hold onto and you let everything out and there's complete and utter honesty of all feelings. (Sometimes it even rectifies the situation). It's the physical expression of that raw and complete honesty, which drives you to feel really close to the other person at that moment and the closeness turns into arousal.