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really weird realtionship with my best mate


tiff
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HI,

Me and my best guy mate have always had a very close, flirty relationship, we spend a lot of time together and we're on the same course at university. I never used to think about him as anything more than a very good mate though,even though most of my friends and his were convinced we're going out, but then a coiuole of months ago he started staying round my house quite a lot- say 2 or 3 times a week and eventually we started taking it all a bit further. I started to fall for him and eventually told him how I felt but he told me he couldnt see us going out like that, and though it hurt I accepted it as I didnt want to ruin our friendship. But he still acts very coupley with me and I'm very confused as to how he feels! He spends most nights around mine, watching movies and chating until the early morning, and often ends up falling asleep and staying over. He always hugs me and kisses my neck and he gets very protective when I'm around other guys. If he's ever feeling low he'll call me up even at 2 or 3 in the morning, and recently we've been going on a lot of "dates" alone to the movies or for meals and the other night we both got drunk and ended up making love. But he still chats up other girls and I still dont think he wants to go out. I know i'm in a bad situation and I've tried moving on and going out on dates with other people, but when it comes down to it, I think I've actually fallen in love with him, and I dont know what to do? can anyone out there help me. tiff*

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My heart tells me that the guy is just playing you, using you to spend his free time with and then moving to other people when he has the opportunity.

 

The problem when guys do this is that the girl will get hurt and he will justify it by saying, "I never said that we were boyfriend and girlfriend..."

 

So if you let your emotions rule you then you'll be letting him use you. If you tell him that you want to have this type of relationship and he doesn't want to follow your example, then I would let him go immediately, the pain will be much worse as you spend more time with him.

 

Drop him so that the others will see that you can't be used, then they won't try to use you either.

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I wanted to add something to the above comment: people are taught not to listen to your inner voice now a days and it leaves you open to victimization by others. We all want our cake and eat it too, but only the very good looking people can get away with this. That is why Hollywood marriages never last more than a few years, it is because they have so many distractions all the time, it is difficult to say no to constant pressures.

 

Those of us not in the spotlight can take time to understand what is going on around us, if we keep our head in the clouds then we will continue to take advantage of others and be victimized by the aggressive members of the human race.

 

If the deal seems to good to believe, it probably is...develop your inner conscience and listen to it when you can...trust your better jusdgement!

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