bananas13 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Ok so me and my boyfriend of 6 months have been attempting a semi-long-distance relationship since I moved to another city for college (we're 2 hours apart). We only get to see eachother on the weekends, so when he visits/I visit I want to keep our sex life interesting. So I asked him what some his fantasies were, hoping for something to do with lingerie or a costume, maybe a strip tease, perhaps sex in a public place... ...and I found out that his two biggest fantasies are the 2 things that I just can't bring myself to do: anal sex, and he wants to finish in my mouth. I feel like a really * * * * ty girlfriend for being repulsed, and I realllllly want to be able to please him, but I just can't bring myself to do either of them... I just keep thinking "Why those things!? I'd do ANYTHING else!!" I don't want him to be disappointed... how do I break it to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Anal sex I wouldnt do. Does he mean finish in your mouth after anal sex...if so ew. But if he means for a blowjob that wouldnt phase me. But you have your values and you should stick to them, never compromise what you believe and want to please someone if your hearts not in it and your going to feel horrible. Just be honest, explain your not comfortable and if he really loves you im sure he'll understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Can I ask you why you feel like you can't bring yourself to do those things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBladeRoden Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 aww, anal and finishing in the mouth are the best Just as long as he doesn't go straight from ass to mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Anal sex...yeah, I understand...I wouldn't want to do that either. It's pretty dangerous actually... However, what is so bad about finishing in the mouth? I'd try the one you were least repulsed by and then make your opinion on it. At least give it a try. That way you can say "I tried this, I hated it." and he'll be happy you humored him at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jettison Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Are you saying that he wants those two things, ummm, sequentially? In order? In that order? Not so hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_win Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 If sequentially...I think someone's been watching a little too much porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 You're asking how do you break it to him. There's really nothing you can do if you are definitely not into it. You shouldn't compromise yourself. But you can reevaluate why you don't want to do those things. Ask him if there's any other things that he'd like. There's so many possibilities, there's a chance that you'll agree on at least one. But if not, then maybe you two aren't sexually compatible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livinginsbi Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 *note to self... don't ask him what his fantasy is!!* seriously... he just told you what you asked for... he didn't ask you to do it... right? Could you handle letting him finish in your mouth, then spit it out, not swallow? You know, kind of let it spill out as he cums? Kind of a compromise? The anal thing... I don't blame you... I'm much more sexually liberated in my old age... but that is just a turn off! I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose21 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Why should she WANT to do anal sex? Thats not something that I would ever do, and I'm pretty open in the bedroom. Me and my boyfriend are always open to try new things. Although anal isn't something that either of us would be tempted to try. But him finishing in my mouth with oral? Lol no problem! I don't mind swallowing either. Not that big of deal, its just body fluids and its my man. He goes down on me and swallows, so why should I be repulsed the other way around. I find he tastes good either way. I just have to swallow alot when there is alot of it. But usualy we dont do much of that now. He holds long enough for us to have sex long enough and then he finishes in a towel. Although him finishing on my breasts and stomach is something new we will try. The new things we try, are things we are both comfrotable with. If he wanted to do something, and I didn't he would never make me and he would never be disapointed at all. Although most things we agree on, and I'm the one that usual suggests new things since he has ZERO sexual exprience prior to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 How old are you two? How far have you two gone sexually? Maybe you are not ready fro those things. Dont worry about it. Talk and maybe ease up to the moments. Maybe pick one of those to acts that you feel is the least repulsive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bananas13 Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Are you saying that he wants those two things, ummm, sequentially? In order? In that order? Not so hot. no not in that order... he likes wants both of them. i've tried letting a partner finish in my mouth before... i just cant... my gag reflex is too sensitive... the thought of it just makes me cringe... i really wish i could overcome it, but i just cant... ive tried anal before aswell... and its extremely painful (even with lube) and i haaaaate the feeling (it just feels like im taking a crap!! lol) i'm totally open for like ANYTHING else too... and we've experimented with all kinds of positions, places, etc. but he's never specifically told me what he wanted until now... so i told him that i was open for anything else... and he went on with "i love you and you dont have to fulfill my fantasies for me to love you" etc etc... but i KNOW he's disappointed. and i asked him to come up with some other things he would like to try... and i told him to get as kinky as possible and he just kept saying "its ok, really, i just want you." gahhhhhhh!! i know theres gotta be other things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Ask him for other things. I'm sure there are other things too. Maybe you should start with something that you like and try to get him into that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragunov-21 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I seem to have missed the part where you *owe* him the fulfillment of his fantasies... Intimacy is about both peoples' pleasure, and if you're that against it, then tell him, and move on. Don't be nasty about it, but don't feel bad about it either. And it's like debaser says, mebbe there's a middle-ground? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 At least you are talking about it...that's good. It sucks that he picked 2 you hate...but there's like a gazillion other fantasies between the two of you, that could be just as hot. Anal and finishing are just a drop in the bucket. Why not treat yourselves to a night at the Sex store...see what pops up! LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBladeRoden Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well now he's thinking you're gonna dismiss those things too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 At least you are talking about it...that's good. It sucks that he picked 2 you hate...but there's like a gazillion other fantasies between the two of you, that could be just as hot. Anal and finishing are just a drop in the bucket. Why not treat yourselves to a night at the Sex store...see what pops up! LOL! HAHAHAHA I had too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. I know, for myself, I absolutely cannot have "product" in my mouth. I freak out so bad. I don't know what it is. I've done it a handful of times and it just really makes me want to vomit hardcore. So, despite everyone not understanding you on that- I DO! It's tough. Guys want everything when it comes to sex. Tell him your fantasy is to use a strap on with him- he'll change his tune RIGHT quick. haha jk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nurseman Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I'm going to let you all in on a little secret about men, women and our (respective) fantasies: Your's bore us. Our's disgust you. Our erotic thoughts couldn't be any more different or as Bill Mahar put it; "Nobody dreams of being a beautiful princess running accross a field of wildflowers to her brave knight.......who cums on her face." Don't ever ask a man what his fantasy is. You'll probably be grossed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhearts Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Tell him to eat two cups of pineapple. Or pineapple sorbet. Or possibly pure pineapple juice two cups. It'll make it taste sweeter, thats the easier of the two options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl68 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 You just gave yourself your own answer! You asked, he said what he really likes, you said no, he said fine! (In summary) I think you've got to let it go. If you want to keep it exciting just go ahead and do it! Initiate sex in public, do the dress up thing, perform a little strip tease. That IS keeping your sex life interesting. So he's a little disappointed you would be to if he asked you your most intimate fantasy and he said no, sorry- can't you wouldn't leave him or stop loving him. There are so many other things you can do for him to keep it fun- I suggest you just leave those 2 behind you and move on to something else. He actually SAID that he doesn't need it, or crave it but since you asked- he told the truth. IMO no big deal that you don't want to, but the most important part of it all is it's no big deal to HIM; you're the only one stressing out over this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nurseman Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Sorry, screwed up. Just ignore this and go to the next post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nurseman Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Tell him to eat two cups of pineapple. Or pineapple sorbet. Or possibly pure pineapple juice two cups. It'll make it taste sweeter, thats the easier of the two options. Nice try, but despite lots of anecdotal accounts, there is no reliable evidence that you can affect the taste of ejaculate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bananas13 Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 im probably blowing it out of proportion... thanks for all the advice! =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Nice try, but despite lots of anecdotal accounts, there is no reliable evidence that you can affect the taste of ejaculate. My experience of a man on atkins was proof enough for me. Like milk mixed with battery acid. OP - Listen to your bf. He's telling you that it's ok and that you mean more to him than a fantasy. DON'T make yourself feel bad about not wanting/being able to fulfill those fantasies. Even if you did go there with him, do you think it would be enjoyable for him knowing that you are having a bad time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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