A break through.

[Hunny1607307342]

i contacted him saying that i want to speak to him. At first, it

There was still so much anger, resentment and hurt in his tone, so much that he had to say, yet so much that he wanted to keep to himself.

He asked me why he should bother giving him another chance,

Going into this trance of rejecting communication with me.

 

After a lot of effort i finally got through to him. i got him to LISTEN to me for once, and and i got him to open up. I got his anger to melt and i got him to understand how i feel. I told him he has the ttotally wrong impression of me in that im not this crazy mad party animal/suicidal/drinking woman when we're broken up. I told him if he has this false impression of me its just going to eat him up on the inside and make what he's going through a lot worse.

He actuallly agreed with me for once he dropped the stubborn negative act. he listened, he listened to my emotions, he stopped putting aside my feelings and he related to them. when i told him what i was going through he told me what he was going through. he said it was nothing better than hell on earth, that he's broken down over so much and that its just impossible to function etc.etc.

 

We spoke for about an hour about this. We could have gone on forever sharing our experiences about the pain we were going through but we both knew too much of it is not appropriate. But i cannot explain to you how theraputic it was for me because all i wanted to feel is feel is understood, feel that im not alone in all of this, that he GETS me, that we end a better light after 2 years. We knew that it was so tragic because i felt the heart wrenching emotion in his words when he opened up....i feel so much less hurt and abandoned. i have such a better understanding upon it all and its all become so much better for me to cope with now all the fire as subsided. At least i'll know what we had was real.

[SapphireNoir10]

Do you want to reconcile? are there talks of getting back together? or were you just venting to eachother?

[Hunny1607307342]

we were just venting... it was sad, but at the same time it was sweet. we've broken up and conciled too many times and want each other badly but know it wont work.

 

im still not sure if its the right thing because we're BOTH so depressed. i hope this is for the best, because it feels like a mistake, as i always take the crazy risks.

 

but now ive agreed to playing it safe for his sake.

but even so, aghhh i dont want him to hurt so much. our relationship may not have been healthy, but the aftermath is hardly healthy either.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Do you realize that this entire post was all about you..your feelings, your emotions, you made HIM see what YOU are going through..YOU GOT HIM is what you keep saying. This is incredibly controlling. You still really haven't learned any lessons from all of this and even if this relationship is really over, you will repeat the same dynamic in the next one.

[COtuner]

Do you realize that this entire post was all about you..your feelings, your emotions, you made HIM see what YOU are going through..YOU GOT HIM is what you keep saying. This is incredibly controlling. You still really haven't learned any lessons from all of this and even if this relationship is really over, you will repeat the same dynamic in the next one.

 

Very insightful, CAB. You hit on something that I'm going to go think about WRT my own breakup. This seems to apply to both myself and my ex right before things came to an end...

[Hunny1607307342]

Do you realize that this entire post was all about you..your feelings, your emotions, you made HIM see what YOU are going through..YOU GOT HIM is what you keep saying. This is incredibly controlling. You still really haven't learned any lessons from all of this and even if this relationship is really over, you will repeat the same dynamic in the next one.

 

Ok..well thats because this post is about me. I could recite everything he said too and tell you about his feelings, but yes it is about ME getting him to listen to me, but that's only because he was initially in a trance of shutting me out and i wanted to make him understand that im going through the same pain as him so he needn't battle with any anger, nor consider me as someone who's going to handle the sadness of the breakup in worrying ways. It was a beneficial talk for both of us, and he said himself repeatedly that he's really glad he got to talk to me and know certain things.

[lady00]

Sounds good. As long as you can leave it other alone now and move on with your lives.