Why am I so paranoid/insecure, will this work?

[bobbyp]

Hey, for the last 3-4 years I've being speaking to this girl online, we got really close, and finally last month decided to meet. We did, it was amazing experience, I then met her again as she was in the same city as me as she was meeting family 2 days after. She then went back to where she lived (6 hours on train away). Last weekend I went to stay in a hotel where she lived, and had another amazing weekend.

 

You're probably wondering what the problem is, it's that I feel so insecure being this far away from her, and she is a pretty girl, and she's just started college, new faces, and saw a picture on her social networking site with another boy and a girl, and he has his arm around her and the other girl and you can see her hand holding his fingers, and it just little things like this which cause me to almost assume she's cheating or planning to, and throughout knowing her I always feel that I care for her way more than she cares for me. But now I wont see her for another month, and I miss her so much! and she doesn't even seem to miss me, of course she says "I miss you" and such, but i don't know!

I've being thinking of breaking things up, we're only 17 and 16, but I feel that I'm only going to do that, to make a statement too her, and I don't want to risk losing her, and well I don't want to break up with her at all! I just feel so ugh!

[akuni]

The job we have as guys....be strong and just hope she knows your there for her.

 

Don't break it off solely on insecurity. You obviously have a blast together and a month goes by like nothing, stay busy and time will fly. Facebook/Myspace pictures - don't get too worked up about those things, usually harmless.

[bobbyp]

The job we have as guys....be strong and just hope she knows your there for her.

 

Don't break it off solely on insecurity. You obviously have a blast together and a month goes by like nothing, stay busy and time will fly. Facebook/Myspace pictures - don't get too worked up about those things, usually harmless.

 

Yeah, she knows that, and soon I'm going to prove that too her, One day i will come up with an action, or words which shows her just how much I care...

 

Yeah, I've decided not too, I don't even know why I'm thinking of breaking up with her, little things like me signing on msn, and her say hey straight away makes me reassured. But then stuff like not replying in like 3-4 minutes makes me weirdly angry at her, then when she does reply it's all forgotten.

 

Females, if you were in her situation, and was with a guy who've you being with for over a month, but knew for about 4 years, and started college... do you believe it's quite possible for you to treat a long distance relationship different to one which wasn't?

[Rose21]

I don't get quite what you are saying.

 

What are you saying?

 

Say that part directed to females again.

[bobbyp]

Sorry, I rambled on.

What I mean is, if you were starting a new college, would the possibility to cheat be greater, the fact that you're in a long distance relationship, and not just a relationship?

 

Would you treat the relationship differently?

[Rose21]

NO! I would NEVER treat that differently. Infact, I am in a LDR, and at a new college.

 

And the thought has never crossed my mind. It's not that bad of a distance, since I see him one weekend a month and then on holidays such as Thanksgiving, X-mas, Spring Break, and Summer, I will see him every single day and night, and he's in my state just 5 hrs away. Most people wouldnt really call that a distance relationship.

 

I get to see him in 2 weeks, and it will of been 5.5 weeks without him. I can't wait.

 

Both me and my boyfriend are very loyal people. We would NEVER cheat, thats just not us. I'm very loyal.

 

Of course, I get paranoid from time to time, doesnt everyone? but I know deep down I have NOTHING to worry about.

 

He joined a frat, just to meet new people and hang out with some good guys. Its def not about partying because thats not him, nor is it me. It's all about studying and find a good career etc.

 

Neither of us hang out with the opposite sex, or get numbers. The only time we would even talk to them would just be in class, friendly conversation, questions about work etc.

 

We are both very trusting. Meeting new guys, or getting numbers and hanging out with them I would ever be interested in. I would feel like I'm being unfaithful to my boyfriend and feel uncomfortable even though nothing would ever happen.

 

So the answer is no. I would never feel that way. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

[bobbyp]

Yeah, we are trying to sort something similar out to 1 weekend a month. And then maybe on holidays too, may even bring up actually going on holiday/vacation together some time next year, but don't want to scare her...just yet

And I see, I mean you have re-assured me some what, as you made me remember how loyal I believe she is. And if it did happen, I know she'd have a guilty conscience and would tell me, not that she probably would.

[Rose21]

Yeah I'm the same way. I would NEVER do it to him, but If I didnt have a conscience I couldn't keep my mouth shut so I would tell him lol.

 

He may be 5 hrs driving distance away but when he comes back for breaks, he comes back to my town. Just 15 min away from me.

 

So like Thanksgiving is a week, Christmas is a month, Spring Break is 2 weeks (Also marks our year anniversery) and summer is 3.5 months! Out of that time, I will get to see him every day and night as much as I want. The only breaks would be when either of us would be at work. and then on the months with no breaks, one weekend a month. Thats only a few tho.

 

And then in 2 yrs, I will be going to his school.