Communication about serious issue...

[VTR-RC51]

I've been thinking a lot in the last week about my life and my past relationship. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and I've been analyzing the past a lot.

 

One thing that really stuck in my head and I always wondered about her...(Sorry if this is confusing for anyone)

 

We were together for almost 3 years and during our first year, her father had and massive stroke during surgery to remove a tumor. He was in the hospital for about 2 months and eventually passed away of a blood infection. My concern is this...

 

When it happened, she didn't tell me for almost 3 days that her father had a stroke. I don't remember a lot of details, but I remember when she finally came out and told me, I was so shocked that she didn't immediately tell me this had happened. Almost to the point where I didn't even acknowledge that her father was in the hospital dying and it took me about 10 minutes before I snapped out of it and started to console her. BTW, her father lives near the west coast and we live closer to the east.

 

At the time, I was a bit upset that she didn't tell me right away and her only excuse for not telling me right away was that I was dealing with a business issue at the time, which I was pretty upset about and she didn't want to make it worse.

 

What type of reason is that? It didn't make sense to me and still doesn't. You would think that she would have thought of her father being critically ill and in the hospital being much more important to me than a stupid issue about business and money. We were much too focused on making plans to go see him before he passed to talk of this situation again.

 

What does this say about her personality?

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think this says she didn't want to burden you with something she felt was not really "your problem". Sure she sees it as something you should know, but she knew deep down that the one who will mourn/beaffected for life most when he died was her.

 

Perhaps she also just needed time to grasp wat was happening, and didn't want to have to bring you down too. I think in a way I would deal with it the same way. I wouldn't want to break down and cry infront of my bf. Instead I would just keep it to myself, carry the burden and try and absorb this info. Then after I have gathered myself and my thoughts a bit I would tell my bf.