krickett Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Ok this is my problem... I have been with this really hot guy for 2 years I am insanely jealous. I don't know how to control the anger that comes with it sometimes like rage. I do not want to ruin my relationship because of it And I am smart enough to know it can. I love him. How do I let him be his own person without getting hurt inside because I have self esteem issues. He is so loving so understanding but I feel like I am pushing him away by keeping him so close How do I feel more secure. Lots of advice needed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhearts Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 You have to do it on your own. You have to tell yourself that you trust him, he hasn't done anything to make you think otherwise. You should be lucky and happy to be with him. =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Well sometimes you have to look at all of the good qualities in your life. Like you, your friends, your goals, accomplishments, etc. Once you have gotten to a point where you think highly of yourself you will understand that no one can come close when compared to other girls or people. Realise that he chose you for a reason, he was not forced to be in a relationship with you. When you feel angry breathe and figure ways to vent your frustration, like excercise. When you excercise, you are staying in shape, pushing your endurance, and boosting your sense of accomplishment. What will follow is a boost in your esteem and more security. Confidence in general may be what you lack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 If he hasn't done anything like flirting a lot or getting strange phone calls from women then you need to accept that you have some issues that are causing this. Is it because he is "hot" or have you been jealous before with other guys? It seems you realize that you are insecure for some reason so it isn't like you are in denial so you are half way there already. Have you looked for any books on this subject? You know you aren't the first person ever to feel this way so I am quite sure you can learn and understand where this is all coming from. Until you do, you will only be treating the symptoms of jealousy not the cause. He may start to feel like you don't trust him if this keeps up or gets worse. Think back to when you were younger and other relationships you had with family, friends or boyfriends. When do you think this all started? Only you can "fix" the way you feel. best wishes lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krickett Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 you are right he already thinks I don't trust him. I say the serenity prayer frequently. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 you need some friends to keep you busy and have your own space from him. sounds to me like he is your best friend and only person you hang around. not sure if this is the case, just he way it sounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhearts Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Sometimes though if you don't trust someone there has to be a damn good reason if it came out of nowhere, or maybe its just the insecurities. You have to work on yourself as a person, stop worrying about being a jealous person, focus on other aspects of your life. Think about all the great or good or sweet things he has said or done for you, all the things big or small show how much he cares and loves you. So maybe just maybe as long as you think of those and block other thoughts out you'll be okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VTR-RC51 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Find the source of your insecurities and work on that. I think that is the only way you are going to feel secure about yourself. And talk to him about it. Perhaps he can help along in the healing process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenshinkitten Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Ok this is my problem... I have been with this really hot guy for 2 years I am insanely jealous. I don't know how to control the anger that comes with it sometimes like rage. I do not want to ruin my relationship because of it And I am smart enough to know it can. I love him. How do I let him be his own person without getting hurt inside because I have self esteem issues. He is so loving so understanding but I feel like I am pushing him away by keeping him so close How do I feel more secure. Lots of advice needed! This is me exactly...wow... I have trust issues, I have no idea why, great family life nothing wrong there. My brother cheated on all his girlfriends so i guess that's why. I Love my boyfriend, best thing that ever happened to me. I got Jealous of his friendship with this girl and pushed him away too far and we broke up b/c of it (I was right in the end, he liked her) but you can't let it control you. It's hard, very hard for jealous people like us. I am insecure with myself so I put it into our relationship, you need to work on yourself and tell him that you are only acting or feeling jealous because of your own insecurities plus he is a hottie. It's hard and it took me a long time and I am still working on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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