toughlife86 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 ...i hate the tought that they know they hurt you , they probbly felt guilty but didnt do anything at the time but some time later, say months or even years the ex contacted you to say sorry for what they did. has this ever hapened to you? i just want my ex to say sorry for telling me lies and leaving me for another guy...i hope one day she apologizes otherwise i ll always thinnk that this life is not fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 don't hold your breath. i know you think you are owed an apology, and, you probably ARE, but you must understand, in THEIR eyes, they did nothing wrong. My exhusband STILL sees nothing wrong with all the adultry he committed. Godspeed to you... ~Allie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Well, my ex has apologized on many occasions for leaving me. I told her that breakups happen. Feelings change. Her response was "But you know i still love you, and i'm still very attracted to you." And a little while later, she admitted that many of the reasons she gave for breaking up with me were things she "thought were true at the time, they made my decision easier to deal with." She has essentially said that there probably wasn't anything we couldn't have worked out, and the love and attraction is still there...but she has moved on with someone else, so that's that. I'm sorry that your ex lied to you. I'm sorry she left you for someone else. But you are very young. When we get into relationships with other people, we have to accept that there is a chance, no matter what plans are made, or what kinds of pretty words of "forever" are exchanged, they may leave us. And it hurts. For a while. As it should. But you can pick up and move on. Sometimes things aren't "fair" as you've stated...they just "are." I have no doubt that in time, you will be fine. Whether you receive an apology or not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jettison Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My ex just recently apologized to me for dumping me a year after the fact even though I was the one with the ex-girlfriend who wasn't out of our lives. I just thanks, but affirmed that it was one of those "no faults" like auto insurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Well, life isn't fair. It really isn't. You will discover this in so many more ways than an ex not apoligizing to you. Babies die, parents die, jobs are lost because of gossip, etc... It's tough, no doubt about it. I had one ex apologize, sort of. He said, "I didn't realize what I did hurt you so badly. You should have told me." That was it. He then went on to tell me how gorgeous, sexy (she was a beautiful stripper), and smart his current gf was, AND HE HAD LEFT ME FOR HER! Yeah, like I said, life is not fair at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toughlife86 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 yeah , i know there are much worse things than are not fair obviosuly. its just when you break up with someone you give them bs reasons . well when you dump someone you never tell them the truth, but anyway i was made a fool of and deep down she knows what she did but i confronted her with it and she even lied to me about it and its been a while since and she never bothered sayin sorry...how sad. i have moved on from this girl though its just i think i deserve an apology but what some of you guys said is true...sometimes things just are the way they are and fair isnt in the picture nor in their eyes. and yeah i agree in general life isnt fair....its jsut been a sad day for me today dunno and was thinking about her and how disapointed i am inteh way things ended. i have learned my lesson though. its throguh these things that i learn best, when you really get hurt. eventually te pain goes away but the scar is left...my scar still there..its healed but a scar was left and am afraid it will b there for a loooong while.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jettison Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Well, life isn't fair. It really isn't. You will discover this in so many more ways than an ex not apoligizing to you. Babies die, parents die, jobs are lost because of gossip, etc... It's tough, no doubt about it. I had one ex apologize, sort of. He said, "I didn't realize what I did hurt you so badly. You should have told me." That was it. He then went on to tell me how gorgeous, sexy (she was a beautiful stripper), and smart his current gf was, AND HE HAD LEFT ME FOR HER! Yeah, like I said, life is not fair at all. Ha! Not to laugh, but I heart apologies like that... the clueless kind. My my ex (two ex's ago) broke up with me, my reply was "If I give you a donut will you reconsider?" Then I just said, "Oh well, at least I had the hottest piece of ass on the west coast." I guess I just figured that if someone were willing to, erah, jettison me then they aren't being very serious or valuing the relationship so I shouldn't either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 By the time they come around to apologize, if they ever do, it does come to mean something different. You'll either not be moved by it, or it'll help you along, or it could send you further in a dark place feeling worse for the wear. But it really is different when they actually do it. It's past the time of being relevant to you now the way it would have been if they had done it after they did what they did - so they apologize, still, they left and that fact can never be changed. I've learned that the only apologes worth much salt are those that come right after the deed has been done, when the circumstances can still be righted. The time is past for that. So the only thing an apology can bring you now - is all stuff you can give yourself if you choose. It's all up to you whether you like that or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 ...i hate the tought that they know they hurt you , they probbly felt guilty but didnt do anything at the time but some time later, say months or even years the ex contacted you to say sorry for what they did. has this ever hapened to you? i just want my ex to say sorry for telling me lies and leaving me for another guy...i hope one day she apologizes otherwise i ll always thinnk that this life is not fair. Yeah, but then I found out even worse things about him a year later (like that there was in fact an overlap in time between me and his 'next' gf). And he apologized for hurting me with a sort of 'friends of benefits and let's see where it goes' after the 3rd time we broke up (in 4 years). What I needed was not the apology. What I needed was to see that he was no good for me. Then I didn't care about his apology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toughlife86 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 Ha! Not to laugh, but I heart apologies like that... the clueless kind. My my ex (two ex's ago) broke up with me, my reply was "If I give you a donut will you reconsider?" Then I just said, "Oh well, at least I had the hottest piece of ass on the west coast." I guess I just figured that if someone were willing to, erah, jettison me then they aren't being very serious or valuing the relationship so I shouldn't either. haha nice one jettison. maybe ill try that kind of tratment if she ever does apologize Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmaximum Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 My sitch pretty much exactly. When my ex showed up at my part time job and apologized, it was just as you stated, it meant something completely different. It assisted me with getting closure and moving on but it meant something different to her. It apparently was a ploy to get me back 6 years after we broke up(which I would be lying if a small part of me wasn't somewhat satisfied) but surprisingly I was actually saddened by the whole sitch. Her life wasn't anything where she wanted it to be and she came to realize to late where her bread was actually buttered. More than anything else, I felt for her three kids who have never really had a good father figure in their lives since I was 'caste out'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay. Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 ya about 3 months ago i had an ex from 3 years past. We had no ill will towards each other but were not 'friends'. She called me crying intensely apologizing for how she treated me ect.ect. This was after she had just broken up with her then bf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 ...i hate the tought that they know they hurt you , they probbly felt guilty but didnt do anything at the time but some time later, say months or even years the ex contacted you to say sorry for what they did. has this ever hapened to you? i just want my ex to say sorry for telling me lies and leaving me for another guy...i hope one day she apologizes otherwise i ll always thinnk that this life is not fair. well, unfortunately i have never ever had an ex tell me sorry. actually the one who left me for another talked trash behind my back. and another one just disapeared. so.. i learned that the only way to move on is to not expect a sorry. you'll need to find closure on your own and realise that life is fair. i believe in karma, dunno about you. also.. if you think about it: do you feel life would be fair if someone can lie and leave you, and then years later simply say sorry? to me that's them getting off the hook easy. karma goes way further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bijoux27 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Sometimes they apologize. I had one apologize over a year after the breakup. Which I thought was not a real apology since he included it in a facebook friend request. If it was a real apology he would have contacted me earlier and in some other way. The other guys didn't apologize. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rsxguy520 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 i had one ex come back to apologize to me and even wanted to get back with me. but sadly i declined.. sometimes the grass isn't always green on the otherside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cat_lady Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I had a guy I dated for the summer when I was 18 who was older that was completely head over heels with me. When it was time for me to go home I just forgot about him since I was spending my summer in another country but he thought that we would have an LDR and would eventually get married. Granted, he jumped the boat WAY TOO QUICK but at the time I just didn't care and was very immature. My mom made me call him on a regular basis and I didn't want to. After I grew up, I felt aweful. I still do. I've apologized to him but I don't think he cares. Every time someone brings him up I feel guilt and shame for being a bad person. Now my ex did the same thing to me and I can only imagine what that guy felt I am offstandish whenever I see him (which is about once every two years) not b/c I don't like him but b/c I dont like myself for how I acted. Now he's happily married and I'm single crying over a guy who won't even respond to me. So, even if you never get that apology, often I think that depending on how cruel the ex was, he or she may not want to deal with you b/c they don't want to deal with that part of themselves and I def. believe in karma. So don't wait for an apology, leave your ex with love and you'll find love, and whether or not you get an actual worded apology I believe that the universe will make the one that caused you so much pain feel sorry. Everything in its own time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Well, life isn't fair. It really isn't. You will discover this in so many more ways than an ex not apoligizing to you. Babies die, parents die, jobs are lost because of gossip, etc... It's tough, no doubt about it. I had one ex apologize, sort of. He said, "I didn't realize what I did hurt you so badly. You should have told me." That was it. He then went on to tell me how gorgeous, sexy (she was a beautiful stripper), and smart his current gf was, AND HE HAD LEFT ME FOR HER! Yeah, like I said, life is not fair at all. I can beat that - just about. My ex apologised for his behaviour a year after we split up... while he had the engagement ring for his new girlfriend in his pocket! He said afterwards he didn't think it would be kind to mention he was just about to go home and propose ](*,) Anyway nine years later, we're good friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassiana Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 One of my exs apologised profusely for what he did a year after the event. I was thrilled. then he asked me out and did the same thing again only more quickly. All the dignified reserved of my behaviour after the first dumping abandoned me. The second time I was furious and let him know it in a series of about 20 angry texts on the day after that breakup. He now thinks I'm a lunatic. How very convenient for his conscience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belle Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I wouldn't look for the apology. It's not all it's cracked up to be. One of my exes apologized after a year, with yet another excuse for why he behaved the way he did. I think his intention was to test the waters. I was dating someone else and shut him down. However, when I broke up with that guy, I contacted the ex-ex and he invited me to see him. And he proceeded to be an even bigger * * * * clown than before. All in all, I think I was much better off without the apology. But I must admit that I am relieved to know who he really is and I no longer wonder if he was the one that got away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RougeKali823 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yes, my ex e-mailed me a year after he cheated on me and I left him. He had just been deployed to Iraq and was still with the woman he cheated on me with and he apologized for what he'd done to me and told me that he truly did love me and was sorry that he hadnt appreciated me. I told him that I forgave him and we never spoke again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rapunzel Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yes, my ex apologized 9 months after the first break up...and we started up again about a month after the apology...and he broke up with me again, 3 months later.....history repeating itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisGirl Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yeah just because they apologize doesn't mean they are sincere. I've had an ex apologize and it only meant they were trying to assuage their guilt, so it was whatever to me. The important thing is YOU know they were wrong, and you won't let them do that to you ever again. And no, life isn't fair Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhearts Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 My ex did, I didn't expect him to, nor did I need an apology. But he said I was right. LOL That is all that counts! =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numba1chick Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I have had an ex apologize and I have been the ex who apologizes. I apologized because I thought we could give it another shot but we were just fundamentally different and had different expectations for our futures...but i am gald i went back and tried it again, i would have always wondered if i didn't and i know i have said it before but i will say it again...there is a webshow that i am obsessed with and they always talk about this sort of stuff! it's super funny but totally insightful! each show is only about 5 mins long so you can watch a bunch in hardly any time at all here is the link, hope you guys like it!! twentysomethingtv[dot]com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt24 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 My ex fiance called me recently and text'd me a few times. I never responded. I don't have anything to say. She left me and never said a word as to why. What could she possibly say a year later that I would want to hear? Not a damn thing, that's why she'll never hear from me again. See Ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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