theWalla Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 I am in ways an insecure person. I've always been critical of myself and those around me. I have a lot going for me, and I know my criticisms are usually not grounded in reality. But nevertheless, I often feel things are wrong even when they could not be more right. I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman. It is a very loving relationship. There is a lot of trust built up between us. I would say its a highly functional and healthy relationship. But I admit, sometimes I feel insecure about it. Even though we have committed to each other (verbally) for life, I still cannot shake that tomorrow it all could end. I could say something, she could say something... This has me looking at everything that is said very critically. It has me worried constantly. It makes me feel like I need this constant reassurance from her that everything is OK, that she loves me and she is attracted to me, even though she gives no indication that anything is wrong. We both know this is a problem. I try my best to ignore it, but it just build in my head until I start complaining to her about things she may not even be doing wrong. I fear it is hurting our relationship. This is my obsessive personality trying to undermine the best thing that has ever happened to me. In the past, I felt that marriage was the solution to this. It would pretty much be that security blanket so to speak. Make me think that the commitment was unquestionable and that the relationship could not just suddenly end like before. But I know now that is the worst reason to get married. My question is, how do I gain this security? How do I feel this commitment? If it is my personality that is undermining my ability to feel these things, how do I address that? Will being in the relationship for a longer period of time make me feel more commitment in security? The relationship has only been for 15 months, and is my longest to date, so I am really in new relationship territory. Thanks! Link to comment
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