Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Anyway my girlfriend broke up with me last week and things were rough, we both had no appetite and felt terrible and i dont think either of us entirely wanted to(i didnt at all i wanted to work things out but) I dont have much relationship experience and was looking for some advice on how to get back together. The first few days i just kept asking her back which i know is the wrong thing to do, and she told me she could never see us dating again but last night she felt really bad about things and didnt have anyone to talk to so she called me and she told me now she needs to figure herself out before she can decide anything about us(i didnt badger her to get this response), she told me shes being indecisive and stuff and shes sorry for being dumb and that a part of her wants me back but she said that will always be true, so im just at a loss. She also told me she thought i was moving on and she was scared of losing me and just said i still really care about her and want her back. But anyways i was about to go No contact or at least very light contact and not call her and let her call me so she would have a chance to miss me but she came to her decision about not knowing about us yet because i talked to her over the weekend and last night so im worried that if i dont talk to her she will just move on. Any advice on what to do? Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 How old are you? What's the relationship history? Link to comment
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 How old are you? What's the relationship history? Agree. That is important here! Link to comment
Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 Im 18 adn we dated for 5 months shes only 16 though and i recently turned 18, i know its weird to ask for relationship advice when most ppl think its always puppy love I was her first major boyfriend that took her on dates and that she had really strong feelings for though Reasons for breakup were that she needed space and time to herself and more time for friends and that she thought i was a little possesive and that she thought i wanted a stable relationship and not her for who she is(which she doesnt think now) that help? Link to comment
Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 Im supposed to call her tonight and i forget to say that she felt really bad when i didnt call her for 2 days and she was calling me, and im wondering what i should say and do, my friend suggested that i tell her i feel like she can pick me up or drop me whenever and that i need some space because its hurting me to talk to her while shes deciding and she needs to realize what she lost Link to comment
i_win Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 It seems like she has all of the control in this relationship and the decision is up to her. I wouldn't tolerate that, because it projects the notion that you are sitting around waiting for her to make up her mind. She's scared of losing you, yet can't see you two ever dating again, yet she wants to figure herself out. Wow, wishy washy and giving you mixed signals. This probably won't be followed advice but if some girl is that confused about what she wants then she really needs to be on her own and I would tell her that I love her but if she can't make a decision and it's that hard to choose to be with me then I will make the decision for her and wish her luck. And then go NC and not contact her. If she contacts me for any reason then I would tell her you'd like to be left alone unless it's to get back together. This sounds like a young relationship. 18/19ish? Link to comment
Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 It is 18, but no she said that she never wanted to be with me and then she said that now she just doenst know but she doesnt want to rule being with or not being with Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 No offense, but shes probably over you and having a guilt trip about not staying with you. So shes going to have you hang on while she goes back and forth. Link to comment
Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 no she said shes not over me Link to comment
Absolution Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 she wants to hang out sunday and go to lunch, should i? Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Shes stringing you along or trying to friend zone you. Shes 16 she doesn't want to be tied down, she probably wants to date around, have fun not be serious, but she wants to keep you around hence the lunch thing. Link to comment
doicare Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Absolution, I suggest u keep doing what you're doing. Don't contact her and when she contacts you only answer half the time. Take your time answering her too. She needs to work for your affection. She sounds like she's still interested, but if you stay at her Beck and call she won't be I thresher much longer. Take it easy, have fun, don't bring up the relationship and don't get emotional. Everyone else will say that she's stringing you along, which she kind of true because you aren't a challenge to her anymore. There are certain things that keep attraction and not being a pushover is one. Others will say relationships should be easy and no games, but really unless both people are 100% perfect I'd say both people need to learn and grow into how to be in a healthy relationship. Suggest you do some googling. Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Absolution, I suggest u keep doing what you're doing. Don't contact her and when she contacts you only answer half the time. Take your time answering her too. She needs to work for your affection. She sounds like she's still interested, but if you stay at her Beck and call she won't be I thresher much longer. Take it easy, have fun, don't bring up the relationship and don't get emotional. Everyone else will say that she's stringing you along, which she kind of true because you aren't a challenge to her anymore. There are certain things that keep attraction and not being a pushover is one. Others will say relationships should be easy and no games, but really unless both people are 100% perfect I'd say both people need to learn and grow into how to be in a healthy relationship. Suggest you do some googling. This thread is almost six years old. I'm hoping for the OP's sake this has been resolved Link to comment
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