pumpkinmoon Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 If you were seriously hurt by your ex and you thought that there was no way you could be with them again because of how they acted/what they did could you maybe get over that if there was enough time inbetween, say 1-3yrs and maybe be ale to start fresh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COtuner Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I couldn't with my ex of 10 years ago, no way no how. I have zero interest in even friendship with that guy if he ever approached me. On the other hand, my current ex and I hurt each other (mostly words, some unsupportive actions, no cheating or anything like that), so my hope has to ride on both our abilities to do that if we ever have a prayer of getting back together someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 In my case the answer is a resounding NO! I can't get past the pain that he caused me. 1-3 years from now I will still be thinking about his attraction to a prosititute in Vegas. That is something that not even years of counseling will help me get over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPusher Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Not sure I am reading your post correctly. But if you're saying what I THINK you're saying... of course you can get over your ex if enough time has passed. The adage "time heals all wounds" has some merit. However, time in itself doesn't always do it... you have to work toward healing within yourself. You can still hold on to anger, jealousy, etc for YEARS and you'll NEVER get over it. But if you're asking about getting back together with them after 1-3 years. I don't know... that's a personal decision to make. Depends on what they did and how willing YOU are to "forgive and forget." Again, you need to work together on it. But in my personal situation, I never wanted to be back with her after the way she treated me and the relationship. It's been almost 3 years now and I've hardly given her a second thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Let me tell the story of my best friend. High school sweeties, move in together at 19, get engaged at 20. The day she and I are going to try on my bridesmaid dresses, I show up at her house (we lived about an hour and a half from each other then) to find he had left her the night before and broken their engagement. We packed her things instead and moved her out. Before they were even together, this guy and I had been very close friends - and after the breakup I maintained limited contact with him. I did however know what he was up to - running around sowing his oats so to speak - while she was crushed. Obviously she and I are still the closest of friends but I completely stayed out of what happened and didn't judge. I also didn't relay info between them...EVER. She meets older guy, moves to Arizona to be with him, gets knocked up and they decide to move to Alaska together and get married. Said guy is a TOTAL jerk and we are all sad that she is marrying him. He goes to AK while she stays with her mom for a couple weeks before she moves up there too. Well, old boyfriend finds out she is in town (and not from me!). Old boyfriend KNOWS she is engaged, and KNOWS she is pregnant - but old boyfriend made a BIG MISTAKE and went to her moms place and begged her to take him back and marry him instead. So as you can imagine, these two had BAGGAGE galore. However? Theirs is a happy ending. Now married 6 years, have two kids (he adopted her daughter from the other guy jerkface and they have one together), are trying for their third - and these two have the strongest marriage I've ever witnessed. As rare as it is, forgiveness is always possible enough to make things work out in the end. Figured I would give you at least one happy story for your post as you are bound to get a lot of sad tales too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 In my case the answer is a resounding NO! I can't get past the pain that he caused me. 1-3 years from now I will still be thinking about his attraction to a prosititute in Vegas. That is something that not even years of counseling will help me get over. I think you have a pretty extreme case and I am sorry to hear of your hurt. But I will say this - GO SEAHAWKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I'd say you can get over what they did....time heals. However, whether you could go back, knowing what they did and risk it happening again, is another matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What an amazing story! It goes to show that anything is possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What an amazing story! It goes to show that anything is possible. Well, we all have our sob stories ya know? I just figured that today I would tell a happy one. They are amazing people and through a lot of honesty, work, love and prayer things DID work out. You both just have to want US more than ME ME ME. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clementine orange Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What an amazing story! It goes to show that anything is possible. Yes!!! I too, loved that story! Thanks for sharing that. It's wonderful that she managed to forgive and wonderful that he took the chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Rose Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 ANYTHING is possible, but the odds are stacked against it. Time changes people, sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst. The experiences you would go through during those years apart would certainly determine how you view past/new relationships. I think as time goes on, you forget rather than pine and remember. The chances of you two being in the EXACT same place in your lives would be rarer than rare. I have been broken up with my 1st bf for over 8 years now.... At first I literally thought I was going to DIE without him. It took me a couple of years to get over him, and a few weeks ago I actually saw[/i him. This is after 8 whole years of not seeing his face or hearing his name!!! I felt..... Nothing. I didn't even think about it, it was like "Isn't that Ste?.. Oh, yeah it is. Must remember to pick up some frozen veg on the way home!" I have only just remembered it after reading the OP. Yet say 5 years ago, I would have walked over broken glass to get back together with him. Now I don't even flinch. I suppose its sad in a way, but not as sad as putting your life on hold for something that might never be meant to be. There is only so much we can do in this world, make the best of your lot and leave the rest up to fate. We all have a plan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Hi fairy, It takes a big person to admit they were wrong. Like the happy ending above, he came to her and admitted he made a huge mistake and changed for the better (nice story btw) I know he is not 15 yrs old but he acts like it. Maybe in 8 to 10 yrs he might mature enough for you to consider him again. Of course you will be married to your prince with 7 kids by then! lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 Thanks for all of your replies... Pixel, I meant in terms of getting back together. Notsoanonymous, That it a lovely story Lost, You are very right once again! The reason I started this thread is because right now, even though I don't have the choice to get back together because he ended it, I couldn't be with him again knowing what he did and what kind of person he changed into. But, having said that, I can't seem to let go of the thought that maybe in a few years when we have both moved on and matured it could work. There is just some sort of feeling that I can't shake off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 =D>The answer to what you are asking all of us will come from within your own heart in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 =D>The answer to what you are asking all of us will come from within your own heart in time. You are very right I'm too confused atm lol. Who knows though right, whats meant to be will be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 You are very right I'm too confused atm lol. Who knows though right, whats meant to be will be Que sera sera... I'm right there with ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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