mr me Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 The last 2 weeks with me eating has been really bad. It was like i would barely eat enough to get by. I was really depressed bad before so it wasnt that bad before but for it to be happening now was really weird. I think today for the 1st time ive been able to enjoy a meal in good spirits. I was just enjoying my food. I wasnt stressing or worrying. I didnt have to force myself eventho that really never worked. Im not entirely sure how me going thru this will really affect the way i see things because i really dont think i could feel better going thru what i was going thru. It wasnt a good experience but im letting my life bring me out of that and into something else. I just dont really know what im going to do right now. I really just feel like i cant think about it because ive been obsessing over everything. I almost forgot to write about what i was going thru today. I felt like i was gonna pass out because i wasnt eating. I was thinking i should take a shower first but i was way to bad. Its just for me lately its been really hard to get much done. I just am always fighting with myself over anything. So i guess thats how it started out. I also was able to go to sleep last night at a decent time which my sleeping habits were also really bad lately. I would even sometimes not be able to sleep till like 8am. Im a late sleeper already but that was like my worst case scenario. I tried going to sleep earlier in small steps but it wasnt working for me. I just feel like once i can kinda handle all the pain from what i was going thru that im pretty good at keeping things in order. I just want to keep this up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darb Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 man i cannot believe how much you sound like i do and the way you feel.......we really should talk sometime...seriously. there is a book you should check out..it is called " betrayal bond" it talks about how you feel bonded with someone who has betrayed you. It might thelp you understand things a little. The pain seems unbearable I know....the shock it excruciating. My breakup experience was the most craziest crap I ever heard of! She said and did things that still boggle my mind and I still try and figure it out....I know about the obsessing part believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellybelly Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I can relate too...sometimes when things are so hard, the last thing you are concerned with is eating and taking care of yourself! but ironically, taking care of the physical helps heal the emotional/spiritual. i too am dealing with this lately...after losing my boyfriend on august 3rd I lost about 11 pounds...and I'm already naturally small, so it isn't good! it's been hard, but I have been forcing myself to try and eat more and be healthy...it makes it that much worse dealing with all of these extreme emotions and being so physically weak too! So, I hope you can keep up with this too! You are on a good start. Keep posting about your progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr me Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well before i was a complete mess and it was really bad. Its just i kinda got myself to get used to being that way so it didnt bother me so much because i couldnt stop it from happening. I think i might check out that book because it seems interesting. I dont know i dont really feel like im still doing as good as i was tho. Its just i never really know how im gonna be feeling because it changes so much. Im also trying to build some type of life outside of just trying to deal with my problems all the time but its been pretty hard. All ive really been able to do is go on my computer and go to work. I actually started alittle exercise but its not too much. I just kinda wish i could get this going along faster but i dont see me being able to get out of whatever it is that im supposed to go thru. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellybelly Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 hey mr me, just saw that you replied again to this post.. I think it's great that you're exercising! Exercise gets natural endorphins flowing which releases stress and helps get us motivated. I myself think I need more physical activity at the moment... I think you are on the right track...you are trying to deal with your problems, but also seeking ways to take a breather from them, which is great. Don't worry about getting things going faster...work at whatever pace you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr me Posted September 13, 2008 Author Share Posted September 13, 2008 I read this but im too tired to really think of what to say so ill get back to this later. thx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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