starlette08 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 my ex and i of 2.5 years broke up in january and we basically havent talked since then. it was a mutual decision to break up, but for some reason, he completely cut me out of his life - blocked me on msn, didnt reply to emails. i had no choice but to move on. its been a while now, but i remember going through one of the toughest times of my life after the breakup. i have moved on since then and am currently in a relationship which i am happy with. anyway, it was my birthday in june. he never msged/called to wish me a happy birthday. i didnt expect he would anyway. its his birthday in 2 days. a part of me wants to be the good person and send him an email to wish him happy bday. the other part of me is mad that he didnt do the same for mine. what should i do? Link to comment
starlette08 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 i want to add that i'm completely over him. i've been in a relationship for 3 months now.. and am very happy with my new bf. this isn't because i want to get back together with him -- i just want to be nice and wish him a happy bday. am i being too nice? Link to comment
phoenixgirl Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 i think it's unnessesary. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Why bother! He hasn't responded to you, why should you extend yourself. Leave it alone. Link to comment
SomeRandomHero Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 dont lead him on Link to comment
i_win Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 No. And I wouldn't want my new gf of 3 months emailing and wishing her ex happy birthday when we are still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship. Link to comment
Clarity Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 i want to add that i'm completely over him. i've been in a relationship for 3 months now.. and am very happy with my new bf. Forgive me for being skeptical, but if the bolded portion was really true, this thread wouldn't exist. Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Yeah if you're over him there is no need. It's just going to lead him on if you're the one that dumped him, and if he dumped you it's going to look pathetic on your part. You don't need to "be nice" to him, just keep moving on. Link to comment
maka56 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 My ex did the same I was wondering too it's her birthday in March, I wont be wishing her happy birthday now, I never got a happy birthday even though she was planning my birthday and what to buy me. Guess she just forgot about me. Link to comment
dead Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 There is absolutely no reason to email. If you do it can only show that part of you is not over him. Link to comment
lady00 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Don't bother. He probably doesn't want any sort of contact anyway, seeing as he did not remember your bday or he remembered but chose not to wish you a happy birthday. Ignore it and instead do something fun with your new bf! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Forgive me for being skeptical, but if the bolded portion was really true, this thread wouldn't exist. I agree. Please do not send the email. Not only is it a bad idea and makes it look like you are not over him it also reeks of "doormat". He cut you out of his life and has blocked you everyway he can, thus if you send this you look like a real doormat who can't take a hint. Link to comment
WithSomeLove Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I think its a nice thought.... Did this relationship leave a positive or negative impact on your life? Some times its okay to have damaging people leave your life forever, but also if the relationship wasnt destructive then it is kinda thoughtful to let someone know you care about them, despite their inability to have wished you happy birthday, it might actually bring a peaceful closure to whatever happened. Link to comment
emalkoc Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I agree. Please do not send the email. Not only is it a bad idea and makes it look like you are not over him it also reeks of "doormat". He cut you out of his life and has blocked you everyway he can, thus if you send this you look like a real doormat who can't take a hint. Totally agree...Dont send anything! it is over now...make it over... if you are happy with your bf, why are still thinking about your ex? seems like, you are NOT over him! hmmm..re-think about your new relationship... Link to comment
Mayday11 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 If the breakup wasn't bad and you'll feel better sending him a simple, friendly happy birthday message, go ahead. Believe it or not, people, but you can be completely over someone, but still want to wish them a happy birthday. I have no romantic feelings for my exs that are now friends, should I just ignore them on their birthday? Dating someone for 2.5 years means that this guy was obviously a big part of her life for awhile and wanting to remain on friendly terms with someone like that is completely acceptable. Sure, he didn't wish her a happy birthday, but does that mean she should lower her standards of common courtesy and stoop to his level? As long as you're being honest here and you are just trying to wish him a happy birthday and nothing more, I don't see what the problem is. Link to comment
exploding head Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Dont do it. My ex threw me away about two weeks before my birthday, then texted me a simple "happy birthday" and nothing else. Her birthday is soon and I'm not going to contact her. In fact, I hope she DOESNT have a happy birthday. I hope she gets the same thing I got for my birthday. A broken heart. Link to comment
notsoanonymous Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I am not even going to read the replies to this - Just give my honest opinion. No, do not wish him a happy birthday. Link to comment
Mayday11 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Dont do it. My ex threw me away about two weeks before my birthday, then texted me a simple "happy birthday" and nothing else. Her birthday is soon and I'm not going to contact her. In fact, I hope she DOESNT have a happy birthday. I hope she gets the same thing I got for my birthday. A broken heart. Well, I'll hazard a guess and say that you and starlette08 are in quite different places in regards to how you feel about your ex. So, your situations are hardly comparable, thus the advice for each will be different. Link to comment
dead Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 look, here some perspective. A woman i was with for 2.5 years, who told me she adored me, who once said i was everything to her etc she broke up with me ( actually, she didnt even bother to inform me until i hadnt heard from her for a while) didnt call me on my birthday shortly after. The point is she was no longer interested in me. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 i am happy with my current boyfriend, but that doesnt mean that my ex doesnt exist to me anymore. it was a bad breakup and we stopped talking afterwards, but this is the guy that shaped who i am today. we both learned so much from eachother, whether or not we are still friends today. i don't know, i guess from the responses its a bad idea to wish him a happy birthday. i can see where you are all coming from. i just thought it would be nice. i wasn't meaning for a hidden agenda or anything like that. just a simple birthday wish. Link to comment
Mayday11 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Like I said, go ahead and send him that text. Courtesy, politeness and taking the high road are all commendable character traits and you should never compromise them for anyone else. If sending the text is what seems most natural and comfortable to you, then by all means, send him the text. By not sending it, you are simply allowing your ex to still make you act out of character and do things you normally wouldn't do. This is an excellent site and has a lot of great advice. However, in these particular subforums, you'll find the bulk of the users are the recently scorned. Because of this, a lot of posters find it simply unfathomable to make any sort of polite gesture to someone who recently hurt them. A lot of the advice is often negative and almost intended to demonize exs that often don't really deserve it. You broke up and took some six months to grieve, heal and become a better person. You were then lucky enough to find someone to commit to in another relationship. At this point, I feel it would be a major step back to immediate post-break up behavior and verging on the petty to disregard his birthday. You've obviously done a lot of great personal work and have moved on with your life. No need to still let past events influence your current behavior. If you feel best sending him that text or email, I say go for it. Link to comment
wizard71 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Do what you feel. But remember you will feel what you do. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 If the breakup wasn't bad and you'll feel better sending him a simple, friendly happy birthday message, go ahead. Believe it or not, people, but you can be completely over someone, but still want to wish them a happy birthday. I have no romantic feelings for my exs that are now friends, should I just ignore them on their birthday? Dating someone for 2.5 years means that this guy was obviously a big part of her life for awhile and wanting to remain on friendly terms with someone like that is completely acceptable. Sure, he didn't wish her a happy birthday, but does that mean she should lower her standards of common courtesy and stoop to his level? As long as you're being honest here and you are just trying to wish him a happy birthday and nothing more, I don't see what the problem is. Why would you want to wish happy birthday to a person who has blocked your email, IM addy and other things? Take a hint. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I am not scorned, neither recent nor current. My advice is to let it go becuase this man has made it clear he would rather she not be in his life by blockig her ability to send him anything. Altruism is fine but when someone sends a clear message it is hard headed not to heed it. Link to comment
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