Jump to content

This sounds weird, but I almost get annoyed when someone calls me cute.

scared and alone

Recommended Posts

I think if people give compliments, most often than not they are being sincere. Why do you think you look weird? Have people told you they think you look weird?


I sometimes think that confidence is kind of a snowball thing. If people continually put us down, then it can snowball into lower and lower self-esteem and confidence. But if people continually compliment us, then it can lead to a snowball up, so to speak. This might be one reason for attractive people generally being more confident in general.


But I think it all starts from the individual. Someone told me once that they thought negative feelings bring in negative events in our life, and positive feelings bring in positive things and thinking about it i can see how it's so.

Link to comment

A word of advice to complimenters: give compliments that are specific to the person. Or better yet, just make an observation that might actually be of some benefit beyond just building self-esteem:


• you know, you look really pretty with your hair up/down.

• I always like to hear your thoughts on that sort of thing. You always see people in the best light, reminds me not to be so cynical.

• Wow, you have a mischievous side, don't you?

• I can't think of anyone else that could pull that off.


Or whatever. Those aren't necessarily great compliments, as such, but usually if I get one of these, I appreciate it more than a generic compliment. The point isn't that they're good. The point is that they fit into a specific context and emerge naturally out of that context.


I think the more generic compliments are usually sincere, but are sometimes sort of worthless. For instance, so WHAT if I am, objectively speaking, attractive, if there isn't a specific woman who, subjectively speaking, wants to be with me. So WHAT if I am, objectively speaking, very intelligent, so long as I haven't actually used my intelligence to the benefit of others? And so on.


My policy is to say, "thank you," and move on. Sometimes, phrases like, "you look nice," are akin to the standard greeting of, "good morning," or an expression like a smile. Don't think of these things as propositions containing meaning: "scared and alone is cute," but as sentences that serve a function in cementing friendships.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...