numerouno Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Quick question! i been with my girlfriend a year now and everything is fine!! but just one thing is bugging me..this is going to sound odd and pretty petty but i have this habit of instantly disliking anything she likes! i dont know where this has come from or the causes of it so im curious to see if anyone else has had this? like today she was quoting lines out of the movie snatch, and i just turned round and said ''why do you even like that crap?'' and i think its a okay film, or if she says ''oh i like this song'' ill tease her about it..even if i do! its like i can't like or grow to like anything she suggests.. i know your thinking 'why are you with her' 'you got nothing in common then' but we work so well and usually i dont act on these feelings but i still get them...does anyone know why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 It sounds as though for some reason your first instinct is to debate with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numerouno Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 yeah it is at every opportunity...i really can't work out why though...like you said 'for some reason'...im clueless.. like if she says 'oh i went to see this it was really good' my first thought will be...'its probably not' lol..and if she shows me id say its not all that good...but then at times i dont feel that way...maybe i just like debating things some of the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Im thinking why don't you grow up and stop playing games with your girlfriend? Its not fair to your lady. Its acting like a little boy, or little brother. Show a bit more respect for her opinions and her emotions. It makes a healthier relationship. Stop creating these arguments, it will hurt her feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numerouno Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 hmm i agree with you in some ways but on the other hand i'm just one of them people who hates everything being 'fine' 24/7...i thrive on arguing with other people except for her because i love making my point..i know now im sounding like a really crappy boyfriend but i never act on the feelings i get with her strongly just a little comment here and there. I mean i'm not saying i actively look to create a massive argument to split us up constantly no, just a small comment to start a debate on something cuz i get sick of it being to nice cuz she always says what i like is good even if i know its something she doesnt deep down...and rather than 'helping' it just annoys me lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 hmm i agree with you in some ways but on the other hand i'm just one of them people who hates everything being 'fine' 24/7...i thrive on arguing with other people except for her because i love making my point..i know now im sounding like a really crappy boyfriend but i never act on the feelings i get with her strongly just a little comment here and there. I mean i'm not saying i actively look to create a massive argument to split us up constantly no, just a small comment to start a debate on something cuz i get sick of it being to nice cuz she always says what i like is good even if i know its something she doesnt deep down...and rather than 'helping' it just annoys me lol.. Secure your own ego, and not at the expense of someone elses. If you keep it up, many with an ounce of pride will hardly put up with your adverse attitude. There are healthy debates and arguments, but the quotation I highlighted in my last post is an example of you being mean. Your rationale is that you like to "spark debate." Does she know this side of you? How does she respond to it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numerouno Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 well yes she does and she hardly engages me in a argument even when i 'spark debate'. She has never looked to start one herself if she can help it either because she puts it down to when her parents split she doesn't like to cause arguments now, not because it brings her back to then, but she thinks if she argues she thinks the same will happen with us...even when i assure her its never serious. But I honestly don't know why I get these feelings with her I mean its not a problem because I don't act on them a lot of the time...but just gives me that little...ehh feeling in the back of my mind...maybe im going mad ? i cant work it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 well yes she does and she hardly engages me in a argument even when i 'spark debate'. She has never looked to start one herself if she can help it either because she puts it down to when her parents split she doesn't like to cause arguments now, not because it brings her back to then, but she thinks if she argues she thinks the same will happen with us...even when i assure her its never serious. But I honestly don't know why I get these feelings with her I mean its not a problem because I don't act on them a lot of the time...but just gives me that little...ehh feeling in the back of my mind...maybe im going mad ? i cant work it out Your not going mad. LOL! You notice it, which is a step closer to correcting something that you know can potentially harm your relationship. Once you notice it, you can controll and eventually block that behavior out, if its not appropriate. By that I mean, agreeing with her each and every time about everything will make your relationship weird and kooky. Dont be so nuerotic as to pick each and every little instance to argue about. HHAHA ever thought of going into the field of law? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numerouno Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 You're not the first person to say that only 20 too so you know its a possiblity...I prefer debating than ''I like that'' ''me too'' , that just bugs me. and i'm very quick on picking people up on stuff lol but back on subject...i'm not sure what causes this though? like honestly the examples i provided do happen from time to time like she went on holiday and saw a show like acrobatics and dancing, and i had to say ''well it's not that impressive i bet theres better out there'' LOL i dont know why i do it! or if she likes a song and shows me, i'll be like..yeh its alright...then listen to constantly thinking this is actually good..LOL..im confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Are you bored? If there's just that "niceness" all the time, maybe you feel that there's some passion or excitement missing, and you're trying to make that happen with arguments. Or maybe you feel that she's not being genuine and you're trying to get a rise out of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 ahhhh, 20. sounds like it's your only way of flirting with your gf is to attack the things she is into. you guys are so opposite you can't find anything in common to talk about. nothing wrong with that, but i don't think it's good that you have so little in common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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