notsoanonymous Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Last Friday, we entered our first counseling session together. He had been incredibly stubborn about going to see someone until then, but he made the effort. Up until now, I have been so angry at him for leaving me, so confused by his lack of explanation that I couldn't see what I might have done to push him away. We will be seeing our counselor again on Wednesday for our second session, which he agreed to without hesitation. After counseling on my own later that afternoon, I realized that there were some things I needed to say to him. Here is the email I would like to send. This is not in an effort in any way to "get him back" - but simply to let him know that I am ready to take responsibility. For you to have gotten to a place where you wanted our relationship to be over, you must have really been at a breaking point with me. Until the other day in [counseling] office, I did not acknowledge - even to myself privately - that I had possibly hurt you or done anything wrong to cause you to leave. I made a silent promise when I left on Friday to stop blaming you and being so angry - and to start being honest with myself about why we were no longer together. I could not see how upset and stressed out you had become on a day to day basis. I was completely consumed by my own thoughts and blind to see that you were hurting and that you needed me. It was a selfish way for me to have behaved. Because of my actions and anger, you were left to struggle through the current challenges in your life without support and love from the one person who promised to give you those things. You should have been able to count on me to stand beside you. Instead, I let you down. I am regretful and so very sorry for that. I want you to know this. You are not a coward. I am sorry to have lashed out at you with such a hurtful word so many times. The truth is that you are a strong, intelligent and incredibly caring man - and while I had you in my life I was a very fortunate woman. I am proud you for all of your accomplishments. You are humble, kind and thoughtful beyond what I have ever given you credit for. I value you as a friend and as a man more than my words can express. I admire you. Regardless of where you and I go from here, I hope that you are able to believe me when I say these things. I know that through my actions more than my words, I will need to show you that this much is true. Thank you so much for being the man that you are. Link to comment
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