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I just need to vent this and get an opinion because i am thinking about this all the time and i can't move on..

Me (31)and my gf(25) had been together for 7 months. After we started our relationshiop, she told me she loves me after 2 weeks, we seemed great together. Months after i think some monotony settled in our relation, which i tried to immediately fix, by staying with her more, plan trips, but she was refusing some of the ideeas,being lazy, a little like me, but i was trying to make things work.

Finally after 7 months she said she thinks she is not the man she sees in her future, and she breaks up with me. 2 weeks before the breakup i felt something was wrong: she was receiving some txt msg on her phone, said she was going out with the girls more than ussual...Anyway when i brought this up she denied it was anyone else, that she loves me.

After we broke up, after a few days, i read her mail, she knew i had the password, but she didnt change it. I found a mail in the trash (written the day after she broke up with me) to a friend of her moms which she was saying was a good adviser: she was telling in the mail that she is torn up inside, she does not know what to do: stay with me or with a new foreing guy of age 41....which she thinks will bring her new enjoyment, she will learn new stuff, but she does not know the feelings of that man for her. The guy is divorced and he just ended another 1 year relationship She met him on a dating website.. Also a few days after i discovered that she went with him on a trip that we planned together..i saw some pics of them kissing, huggin....it was like i saw her with her father or something !!!...it made me feel sick...She talked very nice about me in the mail to this woman, saying she cares about me, i am the greatest guy but she does not thinks i am the one, although she is not sure..

Btw we did not have any other problems, sex was great, she couldnt get tired of me, etc

After this i dont really want her back because i do not want a person like this near me, but i was amazed that i though i knew her, that she has a high standard of morality..she said she still loves me in the day we broke...even tried to make sex one more time with me, but i refused...

She does not know that i found out about her cheating before we broke up, but even if I think i do not want her back i want to confront her with this to calm this storm in my thoughts...

I think she does not know what she wants, she is a bit emotionally immature.

What should i do? for now i have the feeling that bringing this up to her will give me some calm, after all...it was her wrong doing...the way i see it.. I also fear she will end up hurt with this older guy after the novelty wears off...

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Leave it alone and move on with your life. No one can say whether she'll be back or not, but you need to let go of that idea for now.


The thing that stands out to me is your relationship ended after 7 months. I'm guessing the honeymoon period of your relationship came to an end and with the initial infatuation gone, this is when people really step back and take stock of things. This is when they really decide whether this is someone they want to be with or not. It's really the first big trial on whether a relationship has the potential to last or not. If one of the people involved can't make it over this first hurdle, they're just not ready for things, yet.


Good luck, I hope for the best.

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You mentioned that she met the new guy on a dating website. Why was she even on this sort of site if she was with you? And she says she loves you? That just seems very odd. I agree with redhearts, no point in telling her how you feel cause I think she could care less. And should she try to come back to you tell her what you think about the whole thing and her behavior.


All the best....

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its quite obvious you dont trust her if u were going through her emails etc. you also know she was with someone else so theres another reason why u cannot trust her. i know its hard but i think you should let her go. do you really wanna be with someone who dont trust? imagine if u were with her longer than 7 months.......

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