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Need some advice on reacting to spontaneous situations.

El Argonauta

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This forum is the perfect place to find some answers to a problem that has plagued me for a long time, so here goes..


Although at times I am a painfully shy person, which can stop me dead in my tracks. At the same time, since my mid teens when it comes to meeting new people my strong point is spontaneous/random situations where for some reason I can quite easily talk to people I've never met before and often end up making a new friend.


This occurs quite frequently whilst just out and about walking, shopping, waiting at the bus stop, travelling on the train, bus and the underground (subway/metro).


As an example, just last week during one evening waiting at the bus stop I ended up enjoying conversations on two separate occasions with women that definitely would have gone somewhere if it hadn't been for the sudden arrival of the bus lol


What is also very common is that I'll get up to leave a bus/train or exit a shop etc and as I reach the door to get off/leave the location a lady who has been in proximity will smile and or flirt at me. I'm not sure how to respond in these scenarios because my shyness makes me feel awkward to return and then start a conversation without looking clumsy.


What do you suggest I do when I find myself in these situations? It happens to me so often that I'm really starting to feel frustrated that these opportunities constantly appear but yet they're lost time and time again. I'm wary of taking out my phone and asking for a number for fear of looking like a desperado or player. Another poster stated that he carries contact cards with him and I think this would work perfectly for me during instances where conversations have started but some exchange of details needs to happen quickly as time is short, especially travelling on/waiting for public transport.


Any advice, pointers or suggestions you can offer will really be appreciated, thanks.

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All I have to say is, count your blessings. You say you are shy, but I for one would like to be able to make friends at all. You have a great skill at starting random conversation and that is where you should stay at. If you see a girl who smiles get close to her, you don't have to stare her down or anything, just get close! Then do what you do best and start a conversation. Keep a contact card on you, so that way before you go you can say,"It's been fun," hands her a card, "I've got to go but maybe we can chat latter." Then smile and get out.

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oh man! I LOVE random friend-meeting situations! I know that it can be hard when you want to talk to someone, but can't find anything to break the ice that wouldn't sound awkward.


I find that what works best for me is to comment on something about them. (the book they are reading on the bus, the store that you can tell they shopped at because of the bag they are carrying, something unique that they are wearing etc). You could always just ask where they are headed if you see someone at a bus stop. I think that in general, if you smile at a woman and she smiles back at you, chances are she's friendly and would love starting up a convo. Its so fun meeting random people!


Like another poster said, just saying something like "it was great chatting with you. maybe we could get coffee sometime" would be a smooth way to end it. And hey, if it doesn't work out, no big deal. It's not like you've lost anything, right?

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