Parents know best?

[miss_chris]

I had a conversation with my mom today that she iniciated that really made me think...

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 ish months now. I've had a few boyfriends before him and my parents liked them, but didn't really get involved with them. Except for my last ex, my father hated him, haha. But anyways, when i started dating my boyfriend that i have now, my father was SOO excited about it. I remember that he always used to ask if we were dating yet. They had acutally worked together so my dad knew him (thats how we met i guess) and my dad really really likes this guy, which seems weird cuz my father has never really liked any of my other boyfriends, and hes not the type of person to talk to, or get to know my friends or boyfriends. But they get along together so great and my dad sometimes does stuff with him without me being around which i find a little odd, but good in all means. Just different then what i'm used to.. Did any of your parents ever get close with your S.O while u were dating??

 

Anyways, my mom brought somethign up today that kind of made me think. My boyfriend recently moved away to go to college, and my mom was asking if i was going to move down there with him in a few months, which i plan to, just not right now. Lately shes kind of been pushing me. well maybe pushing is the wrong word. but encouraging me to move down with him. Like she would be happy if we lived together, which is good i like to have her blessing aswell. Then she asked me how serious we were, and i said well fairly i guess, then she asked me if he was 'the one'. I didnt know what to say! This is my mother asking me this! I replyed, mom, i'm only 20, im not thinking too seriously about that stuf right now! She said i know, then she mentioned abut how my cousin got married at 22.. I said yeah. i know...

 

Just seems like shes hinting that she wants us to get married or something lol. Do parents really know best and kind of have a hunch about these things? or is she just getting in over her head, which is so unlikely for my mom. Shes a very practical woman. And her mentioning this to me threw me off a bit, just because its my mom. Not because i don't want to me with this guy, because i do of course. Does anyone else find this sort of weird or is it just me lol

[Zeitgeist]

I think that many parents, especially the ones that have managed to make a long term relationship (marriage) work, have been through much of the same heartbreak and pain that many of us on the board have or are going through. They may not have had the benefit of the collective ENA members' wisdom, but almost certainly, some have learned on their own what makes a relationship ultimately work or fail. That is not to say they couldn't be wrong. After all, the info they have on your SO is limited by whatever exposure they have to them. But I do think they tend to have good judgment on who makes a good match for you. Nonetheless, you still have to like your BF/GF yourself.

[gobbledegook]

I'm afraid this won't be a very helpful reply, I just had to make a quick comment. I actually just came on here to ask pretty much the same question, only I'm the guy that just moved off... weird...

 

I do think, however, that parents usually do know best, no matter how much we try to fight it when we're little. I moved out about three weeks ago, and you know, it's kinda funny. All those things my mother nagged at me about for all those years, she really did have a point. If mothers can get the simple things right, then it wouldn't seem too much a jump for them to be able to instinctively pick up on the important things, right?

 

(for the record, the my topic went something like this:

 

An old friend from band that I've had for a couple years and i finally got together a couple months ago. I've never seen myself as that great a guy; certainly I've made plenty of mistakes. For some reason, though, her parents, grandparents *and* church family (that's a big deal for her) seem to absolutely love me.

 

and then it got into the particular oddities of the questions her parents and grandparents have been asking, but I'm sure this thread will answer me anyway)

[amipushy]

He likes him, she likes him, and they are both worried that you could lose a good guy. Can't be bad.