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broke nc and found out she's w/ a guy I know

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So on Friday I broke NC after 3 1/2 months with my ex by sending her a text to see if she would like to hang out sometime. She responded saying that it wouldn't be a good idea because she's seeing someone now.


I was expecting to hear that but what I wasn't expecting was to get 3 calls from friends all informing me that she is now dating a guy that I know through mutual friends of ours. I was obviously distraught.


What really irks me is that this guy is a complete loose cannon. He drinks a bottle of Jack Daniels almost everyday and tries to get on any girl that is not taken. My ex has known him since elementary school and has been friends with him since then.. She used to be his wing man when at bars or events to pick up nasty * * * * s! And now she's dating him.. I couldn't believe it. I of course got drunk with my friends on Friday and I sent her a message reminding her that she used to help him pick up nasty girls.. ( Stupid to do I know ) She never responded to it. I know it was stupid to do but I had to get my point accross and she knows it's true so she can dwell on that.


I had a rough few days but now I completely realize that I was pining over a girl that to told me she loved me one day and then said she had a change of heart the next.. I always wanted to believe that she was a sweet girl but this just showed her true colors. Of course I'm still somewhat pissed and disgusted at her for this. But this is what I needed to shut the door on her and my stupid romanticizing thoughts of her. She isn't worth one second of my mind anymore! It's been a rough weekend but I know this was a blessing in disguise. And it was good that I found out about them before I would ever see them together.. That could have been a disaster.

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A definite downgrade.. lol


I always had a bad feeling about him. He wanted to be roomates with her but she wouldn't. We would laugh at him trying to schmooze every girl and how he would run around at a concert wasted with his big belly hanging out stumbling into everybody. He even told me on multiple occasions that she was an awesome wingman for him and if I ever hurt her he would kill me.

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This is quite a shock now but i think in the long run it will help you because you are seeing her clearly now and can recognize that she wasn't the girl for you.


Try to take it easy and distract yourself... watch movies or read and talk to people and do things to take your mind off it... Give yourself a week to adjust, and if you're still not sleeping see a doctor.


I think that these kind of discoveries really hurt, but helps you to grasp the reality of who she is and what the situation is, so once the shock wears off you can start your healing to move on.

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Exhibit A: Reasons Not To Get In Touch With An Ex


It's ok. Now you know from experience. I hope others can learn from your experience.


I know it was stupid to do but I had to get my point accross and she knows it's true so she can dwell on that.


She's not dwelling on it. She doesn't care what you think.


But this is what I needed to shut the door on her and my stupid romanticizing thoughts of her.


KEY!!! She is a person who makes mistakes, just like us all. Take her off that pedestal. You don't need to vilify her--just be realistic. She's not perfect.



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Probably true.. I'm just so pissed right now..


I know.


I remember when I found out that Mr. Ex was dating a college acquaintance that I also knew back in college. This young woman had some serious problems, and from my perspective was dragging him down, too. I felt so helpless and SO SO SO frustrated. Like, if only I could make him see...


Well, you know. ;-)


And that's half the battle. You know. You won't get in touch with her again. You'll let her make her own mistakes, and you'll use this to help you move on.



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He sounds like a complete knobend. Wish them both luck and enjoy the rest of your life. Feel liberated. My ex ex ran offf with another guy. Hurt like hell but it closed the deal for me much more than the 'does she/doesnt she want me limbo' that ive endured this time.

Good luck to you mate, take care.

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Sometimes finding out the hard truth is what you need to give you the kick in the butt to move on for real and close the door behind you. The only thing that sucks is that I know I will see them together sometime because we do have mutual friends.. My good friends tell me to not let that stop me from coming around.. Just ignore them like it doesn't bother you. I will be able to do that soon enough, I just have to give it a little time. Now that I can envision them together it should make the blow easier when it happens. I couldn't even explain what it woulda felt like to have seen them together and find out that way. I probably woulda freaked big time.

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Hey man it is tough, I basically went threw the same thing... well she broke NC but end result I found out she was seeing someone else. It is just the kick you need sometimes to get going I think. It has been about a month for me since I found out this information and I have been moving along in my healing a lot quicker.


The initial jolt hurts like hell but it gets better quick. Believe me. GL to ya.

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Tough stuff dude... I recently ran into my ex with her new boyfriend on my commute home. They were holding hands and laughing and stuff.. and i had no idea about it was only month since we broke. It was super akward luckily i had my (girl) friend with me who was there for me after i freaked out and threw my phone into a wall and was pissed/crying and all the rest...The hard part is she lied about it even though i specifically asked her about it only a few days before that (about that specific guy even)


All I can tell you i guess is that its been almost a month and im feeling better, not awsome but better. The key difference from before and after the incident is i dont fantasize about getting back together, i just miss her i guess.


good luck bro, hang in there

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seems like loads of ppl have experienced their exes running off with some other guy or girl. that sucks. it shappened to me too. the worst is that she never admitted it! that really pissed me off casue the lst thing my ex ever said to me was a lie after 2 years together. told her not to contact me again and we havent spoken in what say 10 months....ppl that leave you for another are lame and dont deserve anything from you. those sort of relationships tend to fail anyway maybe not in the short run but in the long run. just do your own thing and forget her...its hard i know but ull c the light at the end of the tunnel someday...there are many fish in the sea!

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