Jump to content

Last strand

a_lifters_life

By a_lifters_life
in Relationship Advice

Recommended Posts

a_lifters_life Rising Star

a_lifters_life

Posted
Posted

I'm sick of how she treats me, how she throws me behind the bus and backs it up over me. My gf of 4 months is getting really pathetic, immature, and overall hanging on her last strand with me.

 

We're both in college, last night she changed her mind 4x in 1 hour of whether she was going to a party or not. She told me "oh, Im just going for an hour or so and will be back at 1015" (she left about 915).

 

1145 comes around .... she texts me like nothing is going on "Hey what's up? Is it too late to drink?". (Since our ORIGINAL plan was to drink together, which btw .. never happened)

 

This is where I laid my foot down, told her to meet in front of my bldg to talk. (we're in college). I told her telling me one minute she doesnt want to go to the party and wants to hang with me. Then a few minutes later after we get done playing 'pool' she says "Ok, I think I'm going to go to the party"

 

Like, I CANNOT understand her like honestly. Are all f-ing girls at age 19-21 this immature ? Can't be punctual ? It's not the fact she went and drank, its the fact she played it off "oh Im just going to say hi to some friends for an hour or so". Like..... * * * ?! Anyone? I'm on my last strand with her and I'm sure you guys would be happy to not hear about her bs anymore either, I'm pretty fed up.

Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

Posted
Posted

Nope, not all girls that age are immature. Maybe I was less aware of other peoples feelings yes.

When you let her get away with it and meet her at 1145 it doesn't send out a clear msg that you ARE NOT going to tolerate this behaviour where she just leaves you hanging and then shows up on her own time.

Either give her an ultimatum (and STICK to it) or keep getting "run over by the bus". I doubt it will really get better with time.

Link to comment
jettison Community Regular

jettison

Posted
Posted

Honestly, you're the one who is sounding immature. If your girlfriend stays at a party a little bit too long, and this causes you to flip out, then you're in for a long, long, frustrating life with women. It's not going to get better, with anyone, ever. Sure, the problems won't be the same. You may date someone that is extremely punctual, but there will be other reasons to get upset, and you're likely to find them.

 

Especially for two people in college, sewing their oats a bit, making friends, prioritizing discovery over settling, this is just completely normal. And it's also true that when you make a big deal over something like this that you give her power. She knows, at least subconsciously, that she can get a strong emotional response out of you by simple showing up late to something. She'll keep doing it. In their significant others, people look for ways to find strong emotion in the other.

Link to comment
a_lifters_life Rising Star

a_lifters_life

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Right ... but on the same token, this will just push me farther and farther if she keeps this up. I see couples together ALL the time and I know there's girls out there who give a f*** about hanging out with their SO other than the 'extra' time they may have at night. Im sorry that WILL not fly. Its not the fact that she partied longer than she expected, its the fact she couldn't be mature and tell me "hey, I'm having a good time, so I may be a little later". Im sorry that is not alot to ask and it's a given.

Link to comment
jenny_mcs Collaborator

jenny_mcs

Posted
Posted
Honestly, you're the one who is sounding immature. If your girlfriend stays at a party a little bit too long, and this causes you to flip out, then you're in for a long, long, frustrating life with women. It's not going to get better, with anyone, ever. Sure, the problems won't be the same. You may date someone that is extremely punctual, but there will be other reasons to get upset, and you're likely to find them.

 

 

You really need to listen to the above advice, because it's good. It seems like every day you have a new complaint about your gf. The problem with acting the way you do is that when you are always flipping out and getting aggravated about every single thing, people tend to tune you out. So then, when you have a legitimate complaint, the other person sees it as - oh there he goes again, he's upset, as usual.

 

So sure, this complaint may be a legitimate on. But--you have also gotten upset about your gf taking 10 minutes to call you back, not texting you when she's out with friends, not being able to see you as much because of work & sports practice...and on and on.

 

You really need to pick your battles, because you come off as someone who complains about everything and is never happy.

Link to comment
a_lifters_life Rising Star

a_lifters_life

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You really need to listen to the above advice, because it's good. It seems like every day you have a new complaint about your gf. The problem with acting the way you do is that when you are always flipping out and getting aggravated about every single thing, people tend to tune you out. So then, when you have a legitimate complaint, the other person sees it as - oh there he goes again, he's upset, as usual.

 

So sure, this complaint may be a legitimate on. But--you have also gotten upset about your gf taking 10 minutes to call you back, not texting you when she's out with friends, not being able to see you as much because of work & sports practice...and on and on.

 

You really need to pick your battles, because you come off as someone who complains about everything and is never happy.

 

I honestly dont complain about everything, sure you may think that. You seem like you aren't getting. It's NOT the fact that she partied last night or partied a little longer ... its the fact that she played me on as if she was going to be back within an hour to actually "drink" with me in which she really wanted to.... but then just f's me over.

 

If she said, "oh Im not going to be back until later maybe too late to hang out tonight" ... that would be fine. But, she cant send me a text saying that ? I guess it shows where I stand...

Link to comment
jenny_mcs Collaborator

jenny_mcs

Posted
Posted
I honestly dont complain about everything, sure you may think that. You seem like you aren't getting. It's NOT the fact that she partied last night or partied a little longer ... its the fact that she played me on as if she was going to be back within an hour to actually "drink" with me in which she really wanted to.... but then just f's me over.

 

If she said, "oh Im not going to be back until later maybe too late to hang out tonight" ... that would be fine. But, she cant send me a text saying that ? I guess it shows where I stand...

 

No, I DO understand why you are pissed, and actually I would be mad too in this situation.

 

What I am saying though, is that you are constantly getting pissed about so many things. You seem like someone who is way way too sensitive about every little thing- you are always angry and/or upset about something. Just click on your user name and look at all your old threads.

 

And when someone is always getting angry and upset and feeling slighted, etc., people tend to tune them out. It's like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Now you do have something to be honestly upset about (imo) but you have lost all credibility because you over-react so much in other situations.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...