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complicated situation


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My life is terrible right now. A lot, due to my choices, a lot due to my exboyfriends choices. I need help. He is emotionally abusive and I am not ready for a relationship. I tried breaking up with him so many times but he always charms his way back in. I lost quite a bit of my friends. I kept telling him I wasn't ready but he didn't listen. Now I feel so lonely. Now he "left" me. I keep running back to him. I know it's part of the cycle of abuse. but it's because I feel so lonely, because of him my friends are gone. I am jobless now and I feel so sad. i know it's suppose to get better but I only feel better when he calls. He is out doing whatever he wants. Please, any advice would be helpful.

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I agree with AJ. Cold turkey no contact. It will hurt, and you will probably feel lonely. But you have to cut off the cycle. Once you have delete all of his numbers, dont answer the phone. Take a bubble bath, give yourself a mani/pedi, put on some makeup and your favorite outfit. Go outside, get a cup of tea, make eye contact with folk, smile. Enjoy the fact you are free.


When times get hard, remember fighting for your independence is never easy. Plus we are here!

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Going straight to 'No Contact' in your state is really going to get you into a lot of panic attacks - judging by your syntax alone. I really feel what you're going through. In one state of your mind you're regretting on not leaving him and on another - you didn't want to, but in actual fact, you couldn't because you were codependent on him, and now it has come to this.


I suggest you deal with this like how you're trying to deal with the loss and grieve of a dearly departed family member, only thing is, he isn't. He is dead now.. you have to look out for yourself...


Have a look at this article, it offers basic techniques on how to cope with relationship break ups. I'm praying for you...


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It hurts so much but you're right about something. I feel like he didn't really love me. He is mad that I didn't let him in my life but he didn't let him in his life either. Although he didn't have much friends. He was always hiding me because all this close friends were from his past relationship, I deserve better then him. BETTER THEN HIM! (I am weak, but I am getting stronger)

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